A few words of wisdom

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1. Doing Impressions Edison: [in a High-pitched woman’s voice] “I’m paying you less and working you harder. What are you Complaining about?” Kay: Ha, ha. You sound just like Justine! You really have a gift for doing Impressions, but maybe we should shut the door. Edison: Oh I’m not worried about Justine hearing me. She’s my boss, but […]...
2. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
3. The Wisdom of Youth Never give up The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11 Never blow in a cat’s ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they […]...
4. Биография Томаса Эдисона на английском языке. Biography of Thomas Edison Most people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over 1,000 different things. Among Edison’s inventions are: the phonograph, the movie camera and the movie projector. Thomas Edison invented his electric light bulb in 1879, […]...
5. Thomas Alva Edison Most people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over 1000 different things. Among Edison’s inventions are: the phonograph (record player), the movie camera and the movie projector. Thomas Edison invented his electric light bulb […]...
6. One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the […]...
7. Значение идиомы on sale [on sale] {adj. phr.} Selling for a special low price. Tomatosoup that is usually sold for sixty cents a can is now on sale forfifty cents. John and Mary couldn’t sell all of the lemonade attwenty cents a cup so they have it on sale for ten cents a cup....
8. Значение идиомы two cents [two cents] {n.} {informal} 1. Something not important or verysmall; almost nothing. Paul was so angry that he said for two centshe would quit the team. When John saw that the girl he wasscolding was lame, he felt like two cents. 2. or [two cents worth]Something you want to say; opinion. – Used with a […]...
9. Using a Computer Keyboard Leslie: This Keyboard is so hard to use. I can’t find where anything is! Dave: It’s a standard QWERTY keyboard. The Layout may be a little different, with the Function keys on the right-hand side instead of on the top, but you’ll get used to it in no time. Leslie: That’s what you think. I […]...
10. Notice To make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices. You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It […]...
11. Значение идиомы dig up [dig up] {v.}, {informal} To find or get with some effort. Sue dug up some useful material for her English composition. Jim asked each boy to dig up twenty-five cents to pay for the hot dogs and soda. Compare: DIG OUT....
12. The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
13. The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
14. Значение идиомы go to the dogs [go to the dogs] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to ruin; to be ruinedor destroyed. The man went to the dogs after he started drinking. After the death of the owner, the business went to the dogs. The team went to the dogs when its best players got hurt. Compare:GO TO POT....
15. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
16. Значение идиомы blow a fuse [blow a fuse] or [blow a gasket] or [blow one’s top] or [blow one’s stack] {v. phr.}, {slang} To become extremely angry; express rage in hot words. When Mr. McCarthy’s son got married against his wishes, he blew a fuse. When the umpire called Joe out at first, Joe blew his top and was sent […]...
17. Значение идиомы hold one’s temper [hold one’s temper] or [keep one’s temper] {v. phr.} To makeyourself be quiet and peaceful; not become angry. The meeting willgo smoothly if the president keeps his temper. Dave can’t keep histemper when he drives in heavy traffic. Contrast: LOSE ONE’S TEMPER, BLOW ONE’S STACK....
18. Перевод слова wisdom Wisdom – мудрость, знания, благоразумие Перевод слова Years bring wisdom – мудрость приходит с годами the wisdom of the ages – вековой опыт человечества the wisdom of the ancients – знания древних His answers evinced both Wisdom and integrity. Его ответы продемонстрировали и мудрость, и честность. I doubt the Wisdom of trusting him. Вряд ли […]...
19. Значение идиомы clean [clean] See: COME CLEAN, KEEP ONE’S NOSE CLEAN, MAKE A CLEAN BREAST OF, NEW BROOM SWEEPS CLEAN, TAKE TO ONE’S HEELS, also SHOW A CLEAN PAIR OF HEELS....
20. How you made money A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the […]...
21. Перевод слова clean Clean – чистый, опрятный; чистить Перевод слова Clean habits – чистоплотность clean puppy – приученный щенок clean wheat – пшеница без примеси This stove Cleans easily. Эта плита легко отмывается. The car needs a good Clean. Автомобиль нуждается в хорошей чистке. Make sure you keep the wound Clean. Следите, за тем чтобы рана была чистой....
22. In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I […]...
23. Перевод слова notice Notice – предупреждение, извещение, уведомление; замечать, обращать внимание Перевод слова Formal notice – официальное извещение notice of receipt – расписка в получении death notice – траурное объявление to get oneself noticed – привлечь к себе внимание I Noticed an error in the book. Я заметил ошибку в книге. She pretended not to Notice. Она сделала […]...
24. Nuns First Hot Dog Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the […]...
25. What kind of clothes are there? What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirty Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes)....
26. Значение идиомы off one’s chest [off one’s chest] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Told to someone and sonot bothering you anymore; not making you feel worried or upset, because you have talked about it. After Dave told the principalthat he had cheated on the test, he was glad because it was off hischest. Father felt that Tom wasn’t helping enough around thehouse, […]...
27. The last words A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked little Johnny, he said, “My father’s dead, Miss.” “Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?” “He went blue, held his chest and moaned aaaaarrrrrrggg, and collapsed.”...
28. My girlfriend is out in the car A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender […]...
29. New Words Each year, the Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners: Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Reintarnation: […]...
30. Значение идиомы give notice [give notice] {v. phr.} To inform an employer, an employee, alandlord, or a tenant of the termination of a contractual agreement ofservice or tenancy. Max gave notice at the bank where he wasworking. Sally was given notice by her landlord....
31. Ten Signs That You’re At A Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino […]...
32. Play on the words “Welcome to Entropy Burgers – may I take your order?” “I put in disorder a long time ago. The service here is getting worse all the time.” “My experience Gibbs me reason to believe you.” “I know the waitress who asked that, too. Her name’s Ellen Omega. She really made me thermally dynamic. So, I […]...
33. Thomas Edison Edison is known as one of the greatest inventors of his time. He invented so much that it is difficult to say which of his achievements is the greatest. He was an experimenter and a practical man more than a theoretician. Edison did not have any education. He went to school only for three months. […]...
34. Chemist’s last words The last words of a chemist: 1. And now the tasting test. 2. May that become hot? 3. And now a little bit from this… 4. … and please keep that test tube alone! 5. And now shake it a bit. 6. Why is there no label on this bottle? 7. In which glass was […]...
35. Значение идиомы sit up and take notice [sit up and take notice] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be surprised intonoticing something. Grace had never impressed her teachers. Hearingthat she had won the essay contest made them sit up and take notice. George’s sudden success made the town sit up and take notice....
36. Перевод слова blow Blow – веять, дуть Перевод слова To blow smoke rings – пускать кольца дыма to blow glass – выдувать стекло to blow up a balloon – надуть воздушный шар He Blew his chance. Он упустил свой шанс. A cold breeze was Blowing hard. Дул сильный, холодный ветер. He Blew $50 on lunch. Он выкинул 50 […]...
37. A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, […]...
38. Значение идиомы wear down [wear down], [wear off] or [wear away] {v.} 1. To remove ordisappear little by little through use, time, or the action ofweather. Time and weather have worn off the name on thegravestone. The eraser has worn off my pencil. The grass hasworn away from the path near the house. 2. To lessen; become lesslittle by […]...
39. Значение идиомы clean-up [clean-up] {n.} 1. An act of removing all the dirt from a given set of objects. What this filthy room needs is an honest clean-up. 2. The elimination of pockets of resistance during warfare or a police raid. The FBI conducted a clean-up against the drug pushers in our district....
40. Значение идиомы take note of [take note of] or [take notice of] {v. phr.} 1. To look carefullyat; pay close attention to; observe well. A detective is trained totake note of people and things. 2. To notice and act in response; payattention. Two boys were talking together in the back of the roombut the teacher took no notice of them. […]...