The Preacher buys a Parrot

Related topics:

1. A very Insulting ParrotThis elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, «My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.» She turns around quickly to see who ... Читать далее...
2. A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrotA middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is now a deceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and down at everything it sees. One day the man comes home with a gorgeous ... Читать далее...
3. Footless ParrotA guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he’s lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised ... Читать далее...
4. Magician and ParrotMagician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician ... Читать далее...
5. Passing a parrotA lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, «Hey lady, you are really ugly.» Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы parrot-fashion[parrot-fashion] {adv.} Like a parrot; by rote memorization andwithout any understanding. The candidate delivered a speech thatwas prepared for him and he read it parrot-fashion....
7. A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrotA black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder…the bartender looks up and says » where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies » Over in Africa, there’s millions of them » !!!!...
8. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrotA guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. «This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.» the clerk said. «Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?» «This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.» «And the other?» said the customer. ... Читать далее...
9. A little old lady buys a pair of parrotsA little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn’t ... Читать далее...
10. A lost skillThis preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. «This mower work, son?» the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, «Sure does — just pull on the cord hard, though.» The preacher took the mower home and when he got ... Читать далее...
11. Never talk to the ParrotMrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an «after-hours» appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, «I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, ... Читать далее...
12. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherThe congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said «Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.» More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод идиомы pull (some) strings, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: pull (some) strings Перевод: потянуть за ниточки, тайно использовать свое влияние и власть Пример: Our boss was able to pull some strings and get his son a job for the summer. Наш начальник сумел посодействовать, чтобы его сын получил работу на лето....
14. A preacher was completing a temperance sermonA preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, «If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.» With even greater emphasis he said, «And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.» ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы string[string] See: FIRST STRING, LATCH STRING, ON THE STRING or ON ASTRING, PULL STRINGS, PURSE STRINGS, SHOE-STRING CATCH, TIED TO ONE’SMOTHER’S APRON STRINGS....
16. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condomA man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again ... Читать далее...
17. The HatAn elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit ... Читать далее...
18. A fine sermonA man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher’s sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. «Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon.» The preacher says «Why thank you sir, but we don’t used profanity in the house of the ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова swearSwear — присяга, клясться Перевод слова To swear by one’s life — поклясться своей жизнью to swear accusation — обвинить под присягой to swear loyalty — клясться в верности Don’t Swear in front of the children. Не ругайся в присутствии детей. Don’t Swear at me, if you please! А ну-ка брось кричать на меня! I ... Читать далее...
20. A robber was robbing a houseA robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. «Jesus is watching you!» «who’s there?» The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. «What’s your name,» the robber asked. «Cocodora» said the parrot. «Now, what kind of ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы purse strings[purse strings] {n.} Care or control of money. Dad holds thepurse strings in our family. The treasurer refused to let go ofthe club’s purse strings....
22. A drill instructor at Airborne school wasA drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: «When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up, you hook up. When you go out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, ... Читать далее...
23. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод идиомы strings attached, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: strings attached Перевод: обязательства, условия Пример: My friend was able to borrow the money for the furniture with no strings attached. Моему другу удалось занять денег на мебель без обязательств. There were several strings attached to the offer. В предложении было несколько условий....
25. Want some chicken?A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы give out[give out] {v.} 1. To make known; let it be known; publish. Marygave out that she and Bob were going to be married. 2. To let escape;give. The cowboy gave out a yell. Syn.: GIVE OFF, LET GO. 3. togive to people; distribute. The barber gives out free lollipops toall the children. Compare: HAND OUT, ... Читать далее...
27. Types of Religious LeadersMary: I feel like an idiot! Alexei: Why? What happened? Mary: I just called the Bishop over there “Pope.” Alexei: That’s not so bad. You gave him a promotion. At least you didn’t call him “Rabbi.” Mary: Don’t laugh! When I agreed to work at this Interfaith conference, I didn’t know I’d need a Crash ... Читать далее...
28. A Burglar is in Big TroubleA burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, «I can see you, and so can Jesus!» Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова screamScream — вопль, кричать, вопить Перевод слова To scream with delight — визжать от восторга to scream oneself hoarse — охрипнуть от крика to scream for help — звать на помощь a scream of terror — крик ужаса I Screamed for help. Я громко позвала на помощь. ‘Get out!’ she Screamed. — Вон отсюда! — ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы swear in[swear in] or [swear into] {v.} To have a person swear or promiseto do his duty as a member or an officer of an organization, government department, or similar group. — «Swear into» is used whenthe name of the group is given. Mary and Ann will be sworn into theclub tonight. Fred was sworn in ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова religiousReligious — религиозный, верующий Перевод слова Early religious beliefs — религиозные представления в древности a religious ceremony — религиозный обряд he is not religious — он не верит в бога religious bigot — религиозный фанатик My Religious beliefs forbid the drinking of alcohol. Мои религиозные убеждения запрещают употреблять алкоголь. A poet and a profoundly Religious ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова swear inSwear in — приводить к присяге; ругаться Перевод слова To empanel, swear in a jury — приводить к присяге присяжного to swear in a witness — привести свидетеля к присяге swear in company — браниться во всеуслышание He was elected but not yet sworn in. Он избран, но еще не приведен к присяге. She doesn’t ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы pull strings[pull strings] or [pull wires] {v. phr.}, {informal} To secretlyuse influence and power, especially with people in charge or inimportant jobs to do or get something; make use of friends to gainyour wishes. If you want to see the governor, Mr. Root can pullstrings for you. Jack pulled wires and got us a room at ... Читать далее...
34. Фразовые глаголы с «PULL»Pull round — поправляться He was just beginning to pull round after his operation. Pull away — выделяться, отрываться от лидера Sullivan pulled away in the final lap. Pull back — отступать Our tank forces pulled back to regroup. Pull off — отходить, отъезжать If you’re feeling sleepy, pull off the road immediately and have ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы scream bloody murder[scream bloody murder] {v. phr.}, {informal} To yell or protest asstrongly as one can. When the thief grabbed her purse, the womanscreamed bloody murder. When the city doubled property taxes, homeowners screamed bloody murder....
36. Annoying some waiters10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip. 9. Ask, «Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?» 8. After he describes each special, you shout, «Garbage!» 7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, «Minimum wage». 6. Every few seconds, yell, «More waffles, Cuomo!» 5. Insist that before ordering, you ... Читать далее...
37. The Plumber has arrivedA lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s ... Читать далее...
38. A Snail buys a fast New CarA snail buys a fast new car. There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail ... Читать далее...
39. Man walks into a supermarket and buysMan walks into a supermarket and buys : 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner The girl at the checkout looks at him and says «Single are you?» The man replies very sarcastically «How did you ... Читать далее...
40. There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over AfricaThere was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a ... Читать далее...