The absolved

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1. Three men die in a plane crash and are waitingThree men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, «What did you do on Earth?» Man #1: I was a doctor. St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates. St. P.: And what did you do on Earth? Man #2: I was a school teacher. ... Читать далее...
2. St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one dayAn Australian joke… St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo’s stroll up. «Your names aren’t on today’s list… let me go and ask the Boss» he says. In God’s office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo’s, and God tells Peter to go and ... Читать далее...
3. A HeroA large crowd had formed at the Pearly Gates, when Saint Peter came out with an announcement. «Because Heaven has become overcrowded, we can only let heroes in today. Is anyone here a hero?» One small man raised his hand. «I am,» he said. «What did you do that was heroic?» asked Saint Peter skeptically. ... Читать далее...
4. Represent ChristmasThree men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he ... Читать далее...
5. Entering Pearly GatesThree men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he ... Читать далее...
6. London (4)London is the British capital and one of the biggest cities in the world. The oldest part of London is called the City. It is small, but it is very important. Two thousand years ago a town was built here. For hundreds of years people lived and worked there, but now many of the old ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова tragedyTragedy — трагедия, трагическая ситуация Перевод слова Tragedy and comedy — трагедия и комедия the tragedy of his life — трагедия его жизни historical tragedy — историческая трагедия This is an unspeakable Tragedy. Это ужасная трагедия. The novel weds Tragedy and comedy. Роман сочетает в себе трагедию и комедию. He throned it always like a ... Читать далее...
8. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accidentA lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. «Now, ... Читать далее...
9. A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights brokenA lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. «Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw ... Читать далее...
10. Christmas flavorThree men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas ... Читать далее...
11. Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. PeterLady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: «Oh dear, what happened to you?» Di answers: «I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse». Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: «My God, you look terrible.» Dodi ... Читать далее...
12. Collection 07I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly. I hear you are connected to the Police Department — by a pair of handcuffs. Hello — tall, dark and obnoxious! You remind me of the ocean — you make me sick. You should have been born in the ... Читать далее...
13. A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heavenA pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He’s stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: «You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in ... Читать далее...
14. The crowded storeIt was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be ... Читать далее...
15. In a long line of people waiting for a bank tellerIn a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, «Just what the hell you are doing?» «Well,» said the guy, «you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова interviewInterview — интервью, собеседование Перевод слова To conduct an interview — проводить интервью to give an interview — давать интервью to obtain an interview — взять интервью taped interview — беседа, записанная на пленку telephone interview — собеседование по телефону We Interviewed the job candidates. Мы провели собеседование с соискателями. The Interview was conducted in ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова nuclearNuclear — ядерный Перевод слова Nuclear physics — ядерная физика nuclear energy — ядерная энергия nuclear weapon — ядерное оружие We exploded the Nuclear bomb. Мы взорвали ядерную бомбу. Who would think it sane to use Nuclear weapons? Кто скажет, что использование ядерного оружия разумно? Society is the ultimate legatee of Nuclear waste. Общество — ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы dead set against[dead set against] {adj. phr.} Totally opposed to someone or something. Jack is dead set against the idea of marriage, which upsets Mary....
19. The Road to HeavenA man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to ... Читать далее...
20. Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly GatesClinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «‘It’s me, Bill Clinton.» «And what do you want?» asked St. Peter. «Lemme in!» replied Clinton. «Soooo,» pondered Peter. «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and ... Читать далее...
21. EarthquakeHow plates move When two plates move away from each other lava or magma comes out of the earth. Most of this happens at the bottom of oceans, where the earth’s crust is very thin. Lava cools down when it reaches the water and underwater mountains are formed. When plates push towards each other-one of ... Читать далее...
22. A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlightsA lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. «Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me ... Читать далее...
23. Unique job interviewsJob Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate ... Читать далее...
24. Reward for goodnessThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, «I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы line[line] See: BLOW ONE’S LINES or FLUFF ONE’S LINES, CHOW LINE, DOWNTHE LINE, DRAW A LINE or DRAW THE LINE, DROP A LINE, END OF THE ROADor END OF THE LINE, FOUL LINE, GOAL LINE, GOAL LINE STAND, HOLD THELINE, HOOK, LINE AND SINKER, IN LINE, IN LINE WITH, INTO LINE, LAY ONTHE LINE or ... Читать далее...
26. A golfer hit his drive on the first holeA golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back ... Читать далее...
27. Pick Heaven or HellOne day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. «Welcome to Heaven,» said St. Peter. «Before you get settled in though, it seems we have ... Читать далее...
28. AustraliaТопик Австралия рассказывает об огромном острове и государстве Австралия, по площади – в 25 раз больше, чем Великобритания. Большая часть населению проживает на юго-восточном побережье, где климат мягкий, умеренный. Современная Австралия — независимое федеративное государство, состоящее из 6 Штатов и 2-ух территорий. Страна является членом Британского Содружества, возглавляемого Королевой Великобритании. Национальный язык — английский. Столица ... Читать далее...
29. Accountant in HeavenAn accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, «I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы not for the world[not for the world] or [not for worlds] {adv. phr.} Not at anyprice; not for anything. I wouldn’t hurt his feelings for theworld. Not for worlds would he let his children go hungry....
31. A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly GatesRecently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, «What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They ... Читать далее...
32. Qualifying for HeavenRecently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, «What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They ... Читать далее...
33. Environment and ecology — Окружающая среда и экологияThe word environment means simply what is around us. Some people live in a town environment; for others, their environment is the countryside. Nowadays people understand how important it is to solve the environment problems that endanger people’s lives. The most serious environmental problems are: · Pollution in its many forms (water pollution, air pollution, ... Читать далее...
34. Punishment for GatesSatan greets him: «Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы foul line[foul line] {n.} 1. Either of two lines separating fair from foulground in baseball. Willie hit the ball just inside the foul linefor a double. 2. A line across the upper end of a bowling alleyacross which a bowler must not step. John bowled a strike but itdidn’t count because he stepped over the foul ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы dead ahead[dead ahead] {adv.}, {informal} Exactly in front; before. The school is dead ahead about two miles from here. Father was driving in a fog, and suddenly he saw another car dead ahead of him....
37. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы goal line stand[goal line stand] {n.} A strong defensive effort right in front ofthe goal line. A goal line stand by the home team held the visitorson the two-yard line....
39. Clinton is in HeavenPresident Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «It’s me, Bill Clinton». «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and answered, «Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова accidentAccident — несчастный случай, случайность Перевод слова Fatal accident — несчастный случай со смертельным исходом industrial accident — несчастный случай на производстве by a lucky accident — по счастливой случайности We discovered it by Accident. Мы обнаружили это случайно. It was a sheer Accident. Это была чистая случайность. He was blinded in an Accident. Он ... Читать далее...