Texts

I was supposed to meet Jenny at the library, but I was late. Jenny Texted me: «I M @ lib wher r u?» I’m not very good at texting so I used a Template to say I was going to be late. When I arrived at the library, Jenny laughed at me because she knew … Читать далее

Enrique: I don’t know how you Talked me into coming with you to Dan’s apartment To rifle through his papers. This Snooping is stupid! If you have Suspicions, you should just talk to him. Stella: Confront him without any evidence? That would be the Height of stupidity. Enrique: Instead, we’re Holed up in this closet … Читать далее

Zoe: What are you looking at? Midas: It’s the Prospectus for Boogle’s IPO. I wish I could Get in on the Initial public offering, but since I can’t, I’ll buy stock as soon as the company becomes Publicly traded. Zoe: I’m not really familiar with how the Stock market works. You mean you’re going to … Читать далее

Becky: Curt. Curt: Oh, hi. Becky: Can I talk to you for a minute? Curt: I’m really busy right now. Becky: Just one minute. I Promise it won’t take long. Curt: Okay. Let’s talk over here. Becky: Curt, I’m really Sorry that I told Joyce that you had A crush on her. We were just … Читать далее

I got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and … Читать далее

The first of May! There is a merry freshness in the sound, calling to our minds a thousand thoughts of all that is pleasant in nature and beautiful in her most delightful form. What man is there, over whose mind a bright spring morning does not exercise a magic influence-carrying him back to the days … Читать далее

Isaiah: Aren’t you supposed to be working? Nancy: I just thought I would take a break and Surf the web a little. Isaiah: You’d better be careful which sites you visit. You know that Big Brother is watching. Nancy: The boss told us that, but I don’t believe it. They’re not going to care if … Читать далее

Misha: I’d like to buy a Token for the Subway. Clerk: The subway doesn’t use tokens anymore. Misha: Oh? I didn’t know that. It’s been a few years since I visited New York. How do I pay for the Fare? Clerk: You can buy a ticket for a Single ride that Expires two hours after … Читать далее

About a month ago, my friend Richard called me and asked if he could come Stay with me for a couple of weeks. I usually don’t like having House guests, but Richard was a good friend. He’s an artist and he was thinking about moving to L. A. He wanted to see if he could … Читать далее

Mariana: How long do you think it will be before the Stadium is finished? Klaus: Don’t hold your breath. The plan for the stadium is Fundamentally flawed, but the government Rammed it down the throats of the Voters. Mariana: Do you really think the project is Doomed? Klaus: Haven’t you heard the reports of corruption … Читать далее

My girlfriend and I have been Going out for a year and I thought it was time to have a Heart-to-heart with her. Simon: I have something I want to talk to you about. Can you come over here and sit down for a minute? Paula: Uh oh. Is something wrong? Simon: No, nothing’s wrong. … Читать далее

Giselle: Good morning, Brian. This is Giselle calling from Intergroup in Kansas City. Brian: Hi, Giselle. How are you? Giselle: I’m great, thanks. Listen, the reason I’m calling is that I wanted To touch base with you about the new proposed Regulations. Have you had a chance to review them? Brian: We’ve only had time … Читать далее

I promised you, my dear uncle, that I would tell you anything of interest concerning the siege of Jerusalem; but, indeed, these people whom we imagined to be unwarlike have kept us so busy that there has been little time for letter-writing. We came to Judaea thinking that a mere blowing of trumpets and a … Читать далее

Susie: I can’t believe I’m going to get to see my favorite actor in a Play. I want Front row seats! David: I’m looking at the Venue’s seating plan right now and all front row seats are Taken for the entire Run. I’m guessing that Season ticket holders got those. Susie: Damn! All right. Let’s … Читать далее

Raul: Thanks for Showing me around on my first day. Ursula: It’s no problem. I want to give you The lay of the land and tell you about the people you’ll be working with. For instance, that’s Julie over there. She’s really nice, but she’s also a Perfectionist. If you ever work with her, remember … Читать далее

Fay: Excuse me. I’m in the Window seat. Dustin: Oh, sure. Let me get up and let you in. Fay: Thanks. Dustin: Are you traveling on business? Fay: Yes, I am. I’m Changing planes in Denver On my way to South Carolina, and then I’m Off to Georgia on Wednesday. There’s no rest for the … Читать далее

Customs Officer: Your Passports, please. What is your Final destination? Ozkan: Los Angeles. Customs Officer: How long is your Stay? Ozkan: We’ll be there for a week. Customs Officer: What is the purpose of your trip? Ozkan: I’m going there on Business and my family is Accompanying me on vacation. Customs Officer: Who are you … Читать далее

Josey: Hello, I’m Josey Kim. Curt: Hi, I’m Curt West. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. Josey: You mentioned on the phone that you can help us get that government Contract we’re Bidding on, is that right? Curt: Absolutely. I’m sure I can Be of service to your company and Secure that contract without … Читать далее

Tatiana: Why are you wearing those Funny goggles? Moustafa: I’m Trying out a new kind of Virtual reality. Tatiana: You mean like Flight simulators? Moustafa: This is much more Sophisticated. This system creates a complete Sensory experience. I can see, hear, feel, and nearly taste this 3-D simulation. Tatiana: I don’t see how it can … Читать далее

Camile: That is a really good idea. Nathan: Thanks, but there’s no way I can get past all of the Gatekeepers in this company To get access to the president. He’s the only one who can Green-light a project like this. Camile: Can’t you present it to your boss first? Nathan: If I bring the … Читать далее

Yesterday, I was talking to an Ex-colleague of mine who, Quite frankly, has something of a Big mouth. I Bumped into him at the beach, where he was Walking his dog. Anyway, as I was saying, he’s the kind of guy that’s always Bad mouthing his Co-workers. So he Comes up to Me and says, … Читать далее

Rebecca: Look, there’s Smoke coming from six Stories up. Hugh: Yes, I know. Didn’t you hear the Fire alarm go off upstairs a few minutes ago? Rebecca: No, but I’m really glad there’s a Fire station only a few blocks away. Hey look, there’s the Fire engine. Here come the Firefighters! Hugh: Yeah, let’s get … Читать далее

Oliver: I’ve just had to tell a client that I’m Running behind and I won’t Make the deadline. Alena: How did she Take it? Oliver: Not so well, at first. I knew she wouldn’t be happy, so I’ve been in a Dilemma for days: Should I tell her now that I’m going To miss the … Читать далее

My friend Susan is an engineer and she’s also a Single mom. She has been working some Odd hours lately and was having a Tough time finding Childcare for her 4-year-old daughter and her 8-year-old son. Her daughter, Kimberly, is enrolled in a Preschool and Susan is able To drop her off On her way … Читать далее

Of course you know what is meant by a magnifying glass-one of those round spectacle-glasses that make everything look a hundred times bigger than it is? When any one takes one of these and holds it to his eye, and looks at a drop of water from the pond yonder, he sees above a thousand … Читать далее

Akim: Oh, this is so good! Why are your Eyes watering? Wendy: It’s so Spicy! When you invited me over for Curry, I didn’t know it’d be so hot. Akim: This is Mild or maybe Medium. I make another version of this that’s much hotter. In fact, I like mine with some extra Peppers and … Читать далее

Tony: Another Valentine’s Day! I really hate Valentine’s Day. Chelsea: What’s your problem? Tony: I’m sick of seeing Heart-shaped boxes, Stuffed animals, and Cupid decorations everywhere. Lovey-dovey couples on the street and nothing but Sentimental movies on TV – that’s what I have a problem with. Chelsea: You’re just Jaded because you don’t have a … Читать далее

Georgia: Do you know what the best part is of my new Promotion? The Expense account! I can’t wait To wine and dine our Clients. Dan: The purpose of the expense account is To win over new clients and to keep our current clients happy. It’s not a personal Slush fund, you know. Georgia: I … Читать далее

Ella: It’s so exciting that you’ll be spending a month studying in McQuillanland this summer. When do you start Packing? Marty: I’ve already started. The organizers of the program gave me a list of things I need to bring. Ella: That’s really helpful. Marty: Yeah. They say that it’s Essential that I bring both warm-weather … Читать далее

I love watching movies. I like a lot of different genres. No matter what my mood is, I can always find something that Fits the bill. When I’m feeling down, I sometimes like a good comedy. My favorite are romantic comedies. The Plot is pretty simple. A boy meets a girl and there are Road … Читать далее

Xavier: Look out! Put your foot on the Brake! Brandy: I am braking. Xavier: No, your foot is on the Gas pedal! Brandy: Oh. There’s the brake. Xavier: You just Took 10 years off my life. I was sure you were going to hit the Median or the Railing. I didn’t know what I was … Читать далее

Ally: Hello, Ally McNeal. Jerry: Ally, this is Jerry Mason. I need to talk to you right away. We’re Being sued and we’ve just Been served. This is one of those times I wish we had In-house counsel. Ally: Jerry, you know that our firm will do its best To represent you, as we’ve done … Читать далее

TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in … Читать далее

Antonio: What is that smell?! It Stinks! Candace: This is a dish my roommate taught me to make. It’s really good. Want a Bite? Antonio: You’ve got to be kidding me! You actually eat that? You can Stomach something that smells that Foul? Candace: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. I admit that it’s … Читать далее

When I first met Lance, I thought he was the perfect guy. He was a real Gentleman. He opened doors for me and Pulled out my chair in restaurants. He was As chivalrous as they come. But after a while, I realized that he Took chivalry a little too far. … Lance: Let me carry … Читать далее

Ruth: Now that we’ve Picked out a new couch, we need to pick out an Upholstery fabric. What do you think of this Checkered one? Gerry: That’s an Eyesore. I prefer something a little more Subtle. Ruth: Subtle? What’s fun about subtle? I want something Bold and that’ll Make a statement. How about this one … Читать далее

I picked up my Luggage off of the Baggage carousel and noticed that the Handle was broken and some of my clothes were falling out of the open Zipper. The bag looked like it had been Mishandled, but could someone have Tampered with it, too? I went to the baggage claim office to report what … Читать далее

After three days of travel and meetings, I returned to my hotel room ready for some Downtime. All I wanted was some Peace and quiet so I could get a Good night’s sleep. … [phone rings] Carl: Hello. Hotel staff: Hello, Mr. Mendez. I’m calling to welcome you to our hotel. I hope you’re finding … Читать далее

Spring cleaning is supposed to take place before summer, not after it. But, as usual, I Procrastinated and now I have to finally Get rid of all the Junk I’ve accumulated over the year. But now There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it-the cleaning must be done! I start in my bedroom. I … Читать далее

When I want to Kick back and relax, I usually Flip on the TV and see What’s on. Primetime begins at 8:00 PM on the Coasts in the United States, but there are plenty of Reruns and shows in Syndication between the time I get home from work at five and eight o‚Aoclock. I like … Читать далее

Scott: That’s the last bag. Help me put these into the truck. I want to get these to the Thrift store before they stop taking Donations for the day. Nancy: Hold on! That bag has Curtains in it. Scott: I know they do. Those old curtains have been Sitting around in the Closet for 10 … Читать далее

Claire: Welcome to the Firm. Are you Getting the hang of things here? Jack: I am. I worked in another firm for two years before coming here, so I have some experience Under my belt. But let me ask you one thing: Is the firm serious about wanting each person to do five hours of … Читать далее

Wendy: We need some new Dinnerware. Nearly all of our plates and bowls are Cracked or Chipped. Jason: All right, you do that. Wendy: Aren’t you going to help? Jason: I Trust your judgment. Whatever you like, I’ll like, too. Wendy: But I need your Input. For instance, this set has eight Place settings: eight … Читать далее

Courteney: Which of these Vendors do you think we should Go with? Dante: I’m really Hesitant to make a decision until we’ve Pondered the options a little longer. We don’t want to make any Rash decisions. Courteney: We’ve Sat on this for long enough, don’t you think? I know you’re Of two minds about whether … Читать далее

«La Musique,» says Marmontel, in those «Contes Moraux» which in all our translations, we have insisted upon calling «Moral Tales,» as if in mockery of their spirit-«la musique est le seul des talents qui jouissent de lui-meme; tous les autres veulent des temoins.» He here confounds the pleasure derivable from sweet sounds with the capacity … Читать далее

Dad: Where are you going? Eva: Out. Dad: Out where? Eva: Dad, I’m nearly a Grown woman. You don’t need to be so Overbearing. You give me The third degree every time I leave the house. Dad: As long as you live Under my roof, you’ll Live by my rules. Now, where are you going? … Читать далее

Maria: I need this Package to arrive in Tulsa by next Wednesday. Sam: Sure, I’ll send it UPS or FedEx using their Ground service. It’ll be cheaper than sending it using their Overnight service and we can still Track it. Is it going to a business? Maria: Yes, it is. Sam: Okay, I’ll Mark that … Читать далее

There was once a little man whose mother made him a beautiful suit of clothes. It was green and gold and woven so that I cannot describe how delicate and fine it was, and there was a tie of orange fluffiness that tied up under his chin. And the buttons in their newness shone like … Читать далее

John: I’m glad to see you’re back and looking so healthy. Lindsay: Thanks. Rehab wasn’t easy, but getting Treatment for my Addiction saved my life. I’d hit Rock bottom. John: Recovery from Substance abuse isn’t easy, but I’m happy you got the help you needed. Lindsay: I’m glad I checked into an Inpatient program. I … Читать далее

James: Look at that! It’s Commercial after commercial. It’s terrible how Advertisers are Going after kids. Vicky: They’re just doing their job, Marketing to a Lucrative demographic. James: But just look at what our kids are Bombarded with: Toy commercials and Junk food ads! Vicky: Children’s television is no different from any other type of … Читать далее