Steve Jobs’ Fruitarian Diet Lands Ashton Kutcher in the Hospital

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1. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two […]...
2. About Steve who wants to know about somethings In one day Steve came to the bathroon, when his father was washing. And Steve has seen dad’s dick and said: “Dad, what is this?” His father nervously said: “Well Steve, it’s sausage”. After week he, suddenly, has seen his mum’s cunt and said: “Mum, what is this?”. His mum: “Well, it’s a cat”. After […]...
3. Перевод слова diet Diet – диета, питание Перевод слова Frugal diet – скудное питание reducing diet – диета для снижения веса special diet – индивидуальная диета My doctor said I should vary my Diet more. Мой врач сказал, что мне следует еще больше разнообразить мой рацион. She went on an extreme Diet. Она пошла на жесткую диету. Fish […]...
4. Going on a Diet Decima: My Scale at home can’t be right. I Weighed myself this morning and I’ve Gained another five pounds since last month! Sebastian: You’re not the only one. My pants are feeling tight and it’s getting harder to see my feet! Decima: Okay, I’m making a decision right here, right now. I’m going on a […]...
5. Перевод слова hospital Hospital – больница, госпиталь Перевод слова Mental hospital, hospital for the insane – психиатрическая больница hospital attendant – санитар больницы hospital bill – счет за лечение в больнице She works at Hospital. Она работает в больнице. Hurry them to the Hospital! Быстро отправьте их в больницу. She phoned the Hospital daily. Она звонила в больницу […]...
6. Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, “Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.” Steve says, “Will that keep me from getting sick?” The doctor says, “No, but it’ll look real pretty in the […]...
7. Значение идиомы odd jobs [odd jobs] {n. phr.} Work that is not steady or regular in nature;small, isolated tasks. Dan does odd jobs for his neighbors, barelymaking enough to eat....
8. Fad Dieting Joel: You Don’t look so hot. Are you okay? Beatrice: I’m Perfectly fine. Joel: Oh, and you’re Grouchy, too. Don’t tell me. You’re Dieting again. Beatrice: Just leave me alone. I’m not Popping pills or anything like that. I’m just trying To shed a few Pounds the natural way. Joel: The natural way? You mean […]...
9. Перевод идиомы go on a diet, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: go on a diet Перевод: сесть на диету Пример: I plan to go on a diet at the beginning of the year. Я собираюсь сесть на диету в начале года....
10. Giving Birth in a Hospital It was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, […]...
11. Construction Worker Hides Waldo On Site For Kids In Hospital Next Door One man is helping kids find a little joy. Jason Haney, a construction foreman, hides a life-size cutout he made of Where’s Waldo on site every day for kids who are staying at a hospital next door to find. “It’s just for the kids to get their minds off of things,”Haney told The Huffington Post. […]...
12. A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by […]...
13. The Feline Diet Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people – such as getting lots of table scraps – most […]...
14. The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another. He completely filled his bed up with human waste and was embarrased beyond anything he could possibly face. Losing […]...
15. Being Hungry and Full Steve: I’m finally home and I’m Hungry. What’s for dinner? Brandy: I’m making a new Dish. I think you’re really going to like it. Steve: Oh, good. Bring it on. Brandy: Well, I Miscalculated the Cooking time a little and it’s going to take longer than I originally planned. I know you’re Famished. Here’s a […]...
16. The Diet BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie MID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the package of Oreo cookies 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread 1 large pepperoni & […]...
17. Parts of a Hospital Jordan: Excuse me, my girlfriend was brought into the hospital about two hours ago, but I can’t find her. Admissions Clerk: Why was she brought into the hospital? Jordan: I’m not sure. I got a call from her coworker, but she didn’t give me any details. Admissions Clerk: If it weren’t an accident, then she […]...
18. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. “Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting […]...
19. Giving CPR Joyce: Lie down on the floor. Steve: Why? Joyce: I have to practice for my CPR exam tomorrow. I’m taking it so I can get my CPR Certification. Lie down please. Steve: Okay, okay. Now what do I do? Joyce: You just lie there and pretend to be Unresponsive, like you’re in Cardiac arrest. Okay, […]...
20. Working Part-Time Jobs Luisa: Are you still here? I thought you Got off at 3:00. Max: I Picked up a second Shift. I Could use the money. Luisa: But I thought you had another Part-time job in the evenings. Max: I normally do, but the restaurant where I work has been Cutting back my hours, so I’m trying […]...
21. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
22. There were three men who were lost in the forest There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were then captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of […]...
23. John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. […]...
24. В больнице (At the hospital), лексика и слова по теме A medical centre – медицинский центр An outpatients department – поликлиника A university polyclinic – студенческая поликлиника A maternity home – родильный дом A reception – регистратура Surgery hours – часы приема A medical record – медкарта A health insurance certificate – медицинский полис A casualty ward – приемный покой A hospital ward – больничная […]...
25. On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible “What are you doing?” asked the friend. “Looking for loopholes,” repied the lawyer....
26. A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. “Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”...
27. Visiting a Patient in the Hospital George: You’re just In time. There’s only another 20 minutes until the end of Visiting hours. Inez: I got here as soon as I could. How is Uncle Peter? George: They moved him from the Emergency ward to the Intensive care unit. He’s on Life support. Inez: How could this have happened? How could somebody […]...
28. Describing the Taste of Food Steve, my new boyfriend, decided to cook dinner for me. I was really excited, That is, until I tried his cooking. Steve: What do you think of the soup? I thought: This is so Bland, and what are these little Lumpy things in the soup? Of course I didn’t say that aloud. Elaine: It’s Delicious. […]...
29. A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. “Congratulations,” said the nurse, “but don’t you think this is enough?” The woman replied, “Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.”...
30. World of Jobs Топик Мир профессий рассказывает о важности правильного и своевременного выбора профессии. Проводя большую часть нашей жизни на работе, мы напрямую зависим от того, насколько интересна нам именно эта работа, соответствует ли она нашим способностям и, конечно, заработная плата играет не последнюю роль. Вопрос о выборе профессии нужно решить еще в школе, а не ждать ее […]...
31. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, “Sol, I’m happy […]...
32. A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move – I’ll be right back.” When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t […]...
33. There was this man in a mental hospital There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. […]...
34. Changing gut bacteria through diet affects brain function, UCLA study shows UCLA researchers now have the first evidence that bacteria ingested in food can affect brain function in humans. In an early proof-of-concept study of healthy women, they found that women who regularly consumed beneficial bacteria known as probiotics through yogurt showed altered brain function, both while in a resting state and in response to an […]...
35. There was a costume party at a mental hospital There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was “war”. The first person comes up onto the stage and says, “I’m an atomic bomb.” He gets his applause and steps down. The second person comes up and says, “I’m a hydrogen bomb.” Again, there’s applause and he steps down. […]...
36. A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: “What are you doing here today?” Woman: “Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me $5 for it.” Man: “Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.” The woman looked thoughtful for […]...
37. Chaim escapes from a mental hospital Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, “Are you Jewish?” The man says, “No.” Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, “You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?” The man replies, “No!” […]...
38. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been […]...
39. Перевод слова festival Festival – фестиваль, праздник Перевод слова Harvest festival – праздник урожая the World Youth Festival – Всемирный фестиваль молодежи the festival of Christmas – праздник Рождества I’d couriered two parties to a Berlin Festival. Я сопровождал две группы на Берлинский фестиваль. The lineup for the Folk Festival looks interesting. Состав участников Фестиваля народного искусства кажется […]...
40. Working With the IT Department Whenever I have a Technology problem at work, I try to solve it myself. It’s not that I know a lot of about technology. In fact, the Opposite is true. I’m Pretty much a Computer illiterate, but I still try. Why do I Bother? The answer is the IT department in my company. Every time […]...