Some problems

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1. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctorA woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы come to one’s senses[come to one’s senses] {v. phr.} 1. Become conscious again; wake up. The boxer was knocked out and did not come to his senses for several minutes. The doctors gave Tom an anesthetic before his operation; then the doctor took out Tom’s appendix before he came to his senses. Compare: COME TO. 2. To think ... Читать далее...
3. Delivering a babyA country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he ... Читать далее...
4. Describing Stomach ProblemsThere’s nothing I enjoy more than spending a couple of hours relaxing at a cafe. I sit drinking my tea and reading. What could be better? Woman: So I think I may have to see a doctor soon. You know I’ve had these terrible pains in my Stomach. My Digestion is terrible and now I ... Читать далее...
5. Having Skin ProblemsMother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it ... Читать далее...
6. This man was having problems getting it up to have sexThis man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife’s pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his ... Читать далее...
7. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, «Do you know what I’m ... Читать далее...
8. At the DoctorsAt the Doctor’s… — A young woman said to her doctor, «You have to help me, I hurt all over.» «What do you mean?» said the doctor. — The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, «Ow, that hurts.» — Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, «Ouch! That ... Читать далее...
9. A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a dietA woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. «I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.» When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by ... Читать далее...
10. Мои проблемы/ My ProblemsНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Problems Мои проблемы My name is Sabina. I’m a ninth grade student at a secondary school. I think that all people at certain stages of life face some problems and I’m not an exception. This academic year was rather tough. We had some new and difficult subjects ... Читать далее...
11. A pregnant woman is about to give birthA pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, «Are you my dad?». The doctor says, «No, I am your doctor!». ... Читать далее...
12. The problems of teenagers (5)Топик Проблемы подростков (5) рассказывает о тех трудностях, с которыми сталкиваются молодые люди в начале жизненного пути, хотя считается, что молодость – самое счастливое время. У подростков проблемы иногда возникают «просто ниоткуда». Часты конфликты с родителями, сомневающимися в своих детях; возникают трудности с выбором будущей профессии и хорошего образования – поэтому нужно прикладывать много усилий, ... Читать далее...
13. The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girlThe wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. ... Читать далее...
14. Marriage quotes 04A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. — Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married — but his wife wasn’t. — Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова birthBirth — рождение Перевод слова An artist by birth — художник по призванию normal birth — ничем не осложненное появление на свет of noble birth — знатного происхождения She gave Birth to a son. Она родила сына. What’s your date of Birth? Какова ваша дата рождения? He has been Deaf since birth. Он был глухой ... Читать далее...
16. Manly signs«Doctor, doctor!» shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice. «I think I’m turning into a man» then the doctor says, » Now hold on little lady what makes you think that you’re turning into a man?» » Well» said the woman «I’m starting to grow hair on my chest» and then the doctor asked, ... Читать далее...
17. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, «Do you know what I’m doing?» «Yes,» she replied, ... Читать далее...
18. Birth controlSome women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says «We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.» The next woman says «I am too but we use the rhythm method.» The third woman says «We use the bucket and saucer method.» «What the heck is ... Читать далее...
19. Проблемы подростков/ The Problems Of TeenagersНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык The Problems Of Teenagers Проблемы подростков The life of a teenager can be complicated sometimes. It is a difficult age and there are many problems on the way of becoming adults. For example, the choice of free-time activities, parent-child misunderstanding, the choice of future profession, dealing with the ... Читать далее...
20. A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnantA woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, «Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?» The doctor answered, «Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy ... Читать далее...
21. Youth ProblemsВ топике Проблемы молодежи рассматриваются проблемы подростков. Чаще всего преступления совершают дети из малообеспеченных и неблагополучных семей, и многие подростки, страдающие от наркотической или алкогольной зависимости, просто этого не понимают. Иногда подростки не справляются сами со своими проблемами, впадают в депрессию и кончают жизнь самоубийством. Общество должно проявить заботу и понимание подобных проблем подрастающего поколения. ... Читать далее...
22. Problems with Drugs and Medical DevicesSuzanne: Don’t take that! I’m reading an article in the newspaper about all of the Drugs and Medical devices that have been Recalled in the past year and you wouldn’t believe how long this list is. Abdul: I’m just taking something for my headache. I’m sure this Medicine is fine. Suzanne: Don’t be so sure. ... Читать далее...
23. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problemA young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front ... Читать далее...
24. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-upAn old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, «So how has life been treating you?» The old man replies,»The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when ... Читать далее...
25. A young girl had not been feeling wellA young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. «Young lady,» the doctor began, «you’re pregnant.» «But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.» «Well my dear,» said the doctor, «someone in that colony is ... Читать далее...
26. Eye sexA young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. «Young lady,» said the doctor, «you’re pregnant.» «But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in our colony we practise sex only with our eyes.» «Well my dear,» said the doctor, «someone in that colony is ... Читать далее...
27. Serious deseaseA distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, «I’m wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This ... Читать далее...
28. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and saysA woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, «Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband — he thinks he’s a refrigerator!» «I wouldn’t worry too much about it,» the doctor replies. «Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.» «But you don’t understand,» the woman insists. «He sleeps with his mouth open, ... Читать далее...
29. Where lawers come fromAn anxious woman goes to her doctor. «Doctor,» she asks nervously, «can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?» «Certainly,» replies the doctor, «Where do you think lawyers come from?»...
30. The doctor looked at the woman who had come to himThe doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. «Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you.» The woman said, «I’m glad to hear that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown, not Mrs.» «Oh. Well, in that case Miss Brown,» said the doctor without changing expression, «I have some bad ... Читать далее...
31. Orgasmic ProblemsThe husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, «How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?» She looked him rite in the eye and said, «You’re never home!»...
32. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctorA blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, «I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang — but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.» «Oh Dear!» the ... Читать далее...
33. Having Plumbing ProblemsMickey: Hello, McQuillan Plumbing. Colleen: Hi, I’m having a lot of Plumbing problems. Can you send a Plumber out to my house right away? Mickey: Yes, we can. But first, let’s find out what the problems are. Colleen: Well, to start, my Toilet won’t Flush and it’s Overflowing. Mickey: An overflowing toilet – Check. What ... Читать далее...
34. The problems of teenagers (4)В топике Проблемы подростков (4) я рассказываю о тех проблемах, которые волнуют меня и моих сверстников, ведь проблем у молодежи никак не меньше, чем у взрослых. Я думаю, что очень важно иметь настоящих и верных друзей, быть в хороших отношениях с родителями, но и уметь отстаивать свой выбор, например, выбор профессии. У молодежи в больших ... Читать далее...
35. The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to himThe doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination. «Mrs. Brown,» he said, «I have some good news for you.» The woman said, «I’m glad of that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown,» «Miss Brown,» said the doctor without changing expression, «I have bad news for you.»...
36. A folk remedyA man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman’s body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she ... Читать далее...
37. A man comes to a doctor andA man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, «Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?» «Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!» announces a proud physician, «They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You ... Читать далее...
38. The wife of an older man is distraughtThe wife of an older man is distraught because her husband’s um… little sailor can’t salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, «listen, I don’t do this for ... Читать далее...
39. Michael Jackson and the doctorMichael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son. Michael says, «How long before we can have sex?» The doctor says, «At least wait until he’s walking.»...
40. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...