Soldier stands guard

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1. During WW II an American soldier During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not […]...
2. Man posing as security guard steals $75,000 from Oklahoma Wal-Mart A man dressed as a security guard walked out of an Oklahoma Wal-Mart with $75,000 in cash, a crime that went undetected until the real security guards showed up later to transport the money, police said. The suspect walked into the Wal-Mart on Saturday in Bristow, southwest of Tulsa, dressed in clothes similar to those […]...
3. A recruit who wasn’t really meant to be a soldier A recruit who wasn’t really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, “I think I’ll just go and shoot myself.” The sergeant said, “Better take a couple of extra bullets!”...
4. A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The […]...
5. Перевод идиомы bring up the rear, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bring up the rear Перевод: идти последним, замыкать шествие, находиться в конце (марша, процессии, и т. п.) Пример: They walked down the hall, with Tom bringing up the rear. Они шли по коридору, последним из них шел Том....
6. Cop wants an excuse A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks “I can outrun this guy,” so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway – […]...
7. The scene is a dark jungle in Africa The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, “Hey! Cut it out, alright!” The rear tiger says, “sorry,” and they continue. […]...
8. Значение идиомы bring up the rear [bring up the rear] {v. phr.} 1. To come last in a march, parade, or procession; end a line. The fire truck with Santa on it brought up the rear of the Christmas parade. The governor and his staff brought up the rear of the parade. 2. {informal} To do least well; do the most […]...
9. A guy walks into an elevator and stands next A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!” “Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”...
10. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
11. Перевод слова rear Rear – воспитывать, растить, выращивать Перевод слова To rear poultry – заниматься птицеводством to rear a child – растить ребенка the hen rears her brood – наседка водит свой выводок It’s a good place to Rear young children. Это хорошее место для того чтобы растить маленьких детей. Most farmers in the area Rear sheep. Большинство […]...
12. Значение идиомы shoot up [shoot up] {v.} 1. To grow quickly. Billy had always been asmall boy, but when he was thirteen years old he began to shoot up. 2. To arise suddenly. As we watched, flames shot up from the roofof the barn. 3. {informal} To shoot or shoot at recklessly; shoot andhurt badly. The cowboys got drunk […]...
13. A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
14. Recruiting any and all pilots The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a […]...
15. Driving school test The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop […]...
16. A young soldier was making his first parachute jump A young soldier was making his first parachute jump. The corporal explained the procedure “You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the chute doesn’t open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there’ll be a truck waiting to pick you up.” The soldier checked his gear, called out […]...
17. Фразовые глаголы с “HOLD” Hold all the cards – иметь преимущество hold back – скрывать hold down – придерживать hold in – проводить hold in check – сдерживать hold it – стой! подожди!; постой! hold on – держи(те)сь!; подожди(те) hold out – протягивать, вытягивать hold over – откладывать hold that – считать, что hold up – нападать, поднимать...
18. Значение идиомы rear end [rear end] {n.} 1. The back part The rearend of our car was smashed when we stopped suddenly and the car behindus hit us. – Often used like an adjective, with a hyphen. Ahead-on crash is more likely to kill the passengers than a rear-endcrash. Contrast: HEAD-ON. 2. Rump; backside. Bobby’s mother was soannoyed with […]...
19. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
20. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
21. Really torrid honeymoon After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, “You know what I really feel like honey?” “Well sure,” she […]...
22. Show him your cross Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. “Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Mary Agnes, “What should […]...
23. Exterior Parts of a Car Ethan: You missed a spot. Marie: Hold on. When we made our bet for the loser to wash the winner’s car, it didn’t include the other person being there and being a Pain in the neck. Ethan: I’m just here to make sure everything gets washed properly, from the Hood to the Taillights. Marie: Don’t […]...
24. Перевод слова shoot Shoot – стрелять, вести огонь, охотиться Перевод слова To shoot a bullet – выпустить пулю to shoot to kill – стрелять наверняка to shoot game – стрелять дичь Off, or I’ll Shoot. Уходи, или я выстрелю! One move and I’ll Shoot! Одно движение – и я стреляю! He Shot at the deer. Он выстрелил в […]...
25. I got a great Polish joke A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, “Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…” The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: “Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of […]...
26. California Driving Test Answers The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right […]...
27. Значение идиомы end [end] See: AT LOOSE ENDS, AT ONE’S WITS’ END, BURN THE CANDLE ATBOTH ENDS, GO OFF THE DEEP END, HAIR STAND ON END, HOLD ONE’S END UPor HOLD UP ONE’S END or KEEP ONE’S END UP or KEEP UP ONE’S END, LIVINGEND, LOOSE ENDS, MAKE AN END OF, MAKE ENDS MEET, NO END, NO END […]...
28. Значение идиомы take aim [take aim] {v. phr.} To get ready to hit, throw at, or shoot at bysighting carefully. When the captain orders “Take aim,” raise yourgun to your shoulder and sight along the barrel at the target. Before the hunter could take aim, the deer jumped out of sight....
29. Перевод идиомы one’s hair stands on end, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: one’s hair stands on end Перевод: волосы встали дыбом; испугаться чего-либо Пример: My hair stood on end when I saw the scene after the automobile accident. У меня волосы встали дыбом, когда я увидел место аварии....
30. Перевод слова soldier Soldier – солдат, рядовой, военнослужащий Перевод слова The Unknown Soldier – неизвестный солдат a soldier defects – солдат дезертирует seasoned soldier – закаленный боец The Soldier had a weekend pass. Солдат получил увольнительную на выходные. That Soldier really lacked “solids”. Тому солдату действительно не хватало твердости характера. He is framed to be a Soldier. Он […]...
31. Hope never dies A man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he’s driving at 65 mph, the […]...
32. A woman, a bus and a baby A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver has just insulted me!” The man says, “There’s no call […]...
33. The company president called the chief security guard The company president called the chief security guard into his office. “Chuck, we’ve received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don’t belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop.” Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sir. I […]...
34. Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’s Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’s penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the penis as far as she could and sped away […]...
35. Перевод слова general General – общий, повсеместный, главный Перевод слова General meeting – общее собрание as a general rule – обычно, как правило general opinion – общее мнение The practice threatens to become General. Этот обычай грозит стать всеобщим. There was a General disposition to remain. Большинство хотело остаться. In General people like her. Обычно она людям нравится....
36. A Wild Driver Yasmine and I were going to a show at the Staples Center and Yasmine was driving. My friends Warned me about her driving, but they didn’t prepare me for this Ride. Pedro: Whoa, slow down! You almost Rear-ended that SUV. Yasmine: No I didn’t. Take it easy. I Have everything under control. I’m not even […]...
37. Значение идиомы hold one’s fire [hold one’s fire] or [hold fire] {v. phr.} To keep back argumentsor facts; keep from telling something. Tow could have hurt Fred bytelling what he knew, but he held his fire. Mary held fire untilshe had enough information to convince the other club members....
38. Who has the right of way when four cars approach Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”...
39. Donating an Organ Christine: What is this Sticker on your Driver’s license? Saul: This sticker? It Indicates that I’ve signed up for the Organ donation program. If anything bad happens to me, I want my organs to go to Recipients who need them. Christine: You mean you want somebody else to have your Heart, Liver… Saul: …eyes, Kidneys, […]...
40. How to look busy Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you’ve created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of “business,” there’s no telling how far you’ll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances. Appearance: You are […]...