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1. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into townVentriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? ... Читать далее...
2. Many moonsThere was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, «How long have you been down there?» The Indian replied, «Many moons.»...
3. Learn it by listeningTwo cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, «You see that Indian?» «Yeah,» says the other cowboy. «Look,» says the first one, «he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.» Just ... Читать далее...
4. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneA cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That ... Читать далее...
5. A state-of-the-art watchA cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, «Is your date running late?» «No», he replies,»I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just ... Читать далее...
6. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfireThree cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, «I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men ... Читать далее...
7. Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the roadLittle Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. «My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf», says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time ... Читать далее...
8. A kind of sportA guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, «What the hell was that?» He replies, «Touchdown, I am ... Читать далее...
9. Where are you fromThe cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, «Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.» The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. «Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going ... Читать далее...
10. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranchCowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. «When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,» Joe began. «You mean the parking lot,» interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. «I walked up the trail to the door,» Joe ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод идиомы in two shakes / in two shakes of a lamb’s tail / in a couple of shakes, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: in two shakes / in two shakes of a lamb’s tail / in a couple of shakes Перевод: очень скоро, в один миг Пример: We’ll get there in two shakes. Мы очень скоро туда придем. She’ll get her job done in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Она закончит свою работу в один миг....
12. Investigating a Terrible AccidentThere was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы blaze a trail[blaze a trail] {v. phr.} 1. To cut marks in trees in order to guide other people along a path or trail, especially through a wilderness. Daniel Boone blazed a trail for other hunters to follow in Kentucky. 2. To lead the way; make a discovery; start something new. Henry Ford blazed a trail in ... Читать далее...
14. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decidedOne day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each ... Читать далее...
15. Find out about the catThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in ... Читать далее...
16. A circumcisionLittle Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from school. Danny says «I won’t be going to school tomorrow.» «Why not?» asks Joey. «I have to go to the hospital,» says Danny woefully. «That’s awful,» says Joey. «Why do you have to go there? Are you sick?» Danny shakes his head and ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова IndianIndian — индеец, индиец, индийский Перевод слова Curtains of Indian chintz — занавески из индийского чинца east indian — ост-индский indian hemp — индийская конопля Red Indian — краснокожий (индеец) Do you fancy going out for an Indian? Хочешь пойти в индийский ресторан? Indian music had been blaring out all evening. Индийская музыка орала весь ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы Indian giver[Indian giver] {n. phr.} A person who gives one something, butlater asks for it back. — An ethnic slur; avoidable. John gave me abeautiful fountain pen, but a week later, like an Indian giver, hewanted it back....
19. The Barber ShopThis guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, «How long before I can get a haircut?» The barber looks around the shop and says, «About 2 hours.» The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, «How long before I can get a ... Читать далее...
20. A man sat quietly reading his morning paperA man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: «What was that for?» Wife: «Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with «Daisy» written on it?» Man: «Oh honey, ... Читать далее...
21. A cowboy walked into a barber shopA cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, «I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.» The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, ... Читать далее...
22. This man was sitting quietly reading his paperThis man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: «What was that for?» Wife: «What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written ... Читать далее...
23. A man is waiting for his wife to give birthA man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, ... Читать далее...
24. The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding downThe Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. «Buffalo come,» remarked Tonto. «How can you tell, Tonto?» asked the Lone Ranger. «Face sticky.»...
25. Visiting a RanchPiero: What’s all this? Annie: I’m visiting my sister and brother-in-law’s new Ranch next month and I’m getting ready for it. I know I’m a city girl, but I plan To fit right in On that ranch and work Alongside all of the other cowboys. Piero: Well, you Look the part. You’ve got your Cowboy ... Читать далее...
26. Reading a Bus ScheduleThis was my first visit to McQuillanville. I wanted to avoid driving, so I decided to take the bus around the city. However, I was having some trouble figuring out the Bus schedule. Louisa: Excuse me, could you help me read this bus schedule? Curt: I can try. Where do you want to go? Louisa: ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы head[head] See: ACID HEAD, BEAT INTO ONE’S HEAD, BEAT ONE’S HEADAGAINST A WALL, BIG HEAD, COUNT HEADS, EYES IN THE BACK OF ONE’S HEAD, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET THROUGH ONE’S HEAD, GOOD HEAD ON ONE’SSHOULDERS, GO TO ONE’S HEAD, HANG ONE’S HEAD, HAVE ONE’S HEAD IN THESAND, HAVE ROCKS IN ONE’S HEAD, HEAP COALS ... Читать далее...
28. The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s LifeThe Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Doctor — who tells her to «take off all her clothes.» The Dentist — who tells her to «open wide.» The Milkman — who asks her «do you want it in the front or the back?» The Hairdresser — who asks her «do you want ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы beat into one’s head[beat into one’s head] {v. phr.}, {informal} To teach by telling again and again; repeat often; drill, also, to be cross and punish often. Tom is lazy and stubborn and his lessons have to be beaten into his head. I cannot beat it into his head that he should take off his hat in the ... Читать далее...
30. Jokes about the Stupid IrishA man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, «Fill it up, will you?». The man says «Sorry — we’re right out of petrol.» So the man considers, and ... Читать далее...
31. Humor about Irish Pubs(Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. «Jazus Mick…Well have to turn ... Читать далее...
32. A bad habitI overheard a friend telling his pal, «I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.» «What is she doing?», the pal asks. «Waiting for me to get home.»...
33. A pregnant woman is about to give birthA pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, «Are you my dad?». The doctor says, «No, I am your doctor!». ... Читать далее...
34. And I will do anything for loveThe beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, …don’t reject the ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы cowboy[cowboy] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} A person who drives his car carelessly and at too great a speed in order to show off his courage. Joe’s going to be arrested some day — he is a cowboy on the highway....
36. Перевод слова readingReading — чтение, начитанность Перевод слова To teach reading and writing — обучать чтению и письму a man of wide reading — эрудит, весьма начитанный человек readings from Shakespeare — исполнение чтецом отрывков из произведений Шекспира reading glasses — очки для чтения I need glasses for Reading. Для чтения мне нужны очки. Reading makes my ... Читать далее...
37. A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each otherA Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы head start[head start] {n.} 1. A beginning before someone; lead or advantageat the beginning. The other racers knew they couldn’t catch Don ifhe got too big a head start. Joe has a head start. He began tostudy earlier than we did. 2. A good beginning. Let’s get a headstart in painting the house by getting up ... Читать далее...
39. Is that your horseThe Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, «Who owns the big white horse outside?» The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, «I do. Why?» The cowboy looked at the ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы over one’s head[over one’s head] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Not understandable;beyond your ability to understand; too hard or strange for you tounderstand. Mary laughed just to be polite, but the joke was reallyover her head. The lesson today was hard; it went over my head. Compare: BEYOND ONE’S DEPTH. 2. To a more important person in ... Читать далее...