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1. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
2. Many moons There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, “How long have you been down there?” The Indian replied, “Many moons.”...
3. Learn it by listening Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?” “Yeah,” says the other cowboy. “Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.” Just […]...
4. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That […]...
5. A state-of-the-art watch A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just […]...
6. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
7. Where are you from The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going […]...
8. Значение идиомы blaze a trail [blaze a trail] {v. phr.} 1. To cut marks in trees in order to guide other people along a path or trail, especially through a wilderness. Daniel Boone blazed a trail for other hunters to follow in Kentucky. 2. To lead the way; make a discovery; start something new. Henry Ford blazed a trail in […]...
9. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men […]...
10. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each […]...
11. Перевод слова shadow Shadow – тень, полумрак, теневой; следить Перевод слова To cast shadow – отбрасывать тень without a shadow of a doubt – без тени сомнения shadow government – теневое правительство The police are Shadowing her. Полиция следит за ней. A bear Shadowed the man. За человеком неотступно следовал медведь. Most of the lake was in Shadow. […]...
12. Reading Contracts Carefully Barbara: Just Sign on the dotted line and be done with it. Sean: Didn’t your parents ever teach you to read every document carefully before you sign it? Barbara: Not when the Contract is Boilerplate. All of the Terms are standard. Sean: No, they’re not. Did you notice in the Fine print that if the […]...
13. Reading Comic Books Lee: What are you reading? Stan: It’s a Graphic novel. Lee: Graphic novel? You mean a Comic book? I thought you were too old for that sort of thing. Stan: For your information, this is a graphic novel and it’s a Literary art form. Graphic novels are written for Mature audiences, not kids. Lee: Really? […]...
14. Перевод слова Indian Indian – индеец, индиец, индийский Перевод слова Curtains of Indian chintz – занавески из индийского чинца east indian – ост-индский indian hemp – индийская конопля Red Indian – краснокожий (индеец) Do you fancy going out for an Indian? Хочешь пойти в индийский ресторан? Indian music had been blaring out all evening. Индийская музыка орала весь […]...
15. Значение идиомы Indian giver [Indian giver] {n. phr.} A person who gives one something, butlater asks for it back. – An ethnic slur; avoidable. John gave me abeautiful fountain pen, but a week later, like an Indian giver, hewanted it back....
16. A cowboy walked into a barber shop A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, […]...
17. Значение идиомы afraid of one’s shadow [afraid of one’s shadow] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Scared of small or imaginary things; very easily frightened; jumpy; nervous. Mrs. Smith won’t stay alone in her house at night; she is afraid of her own shadow. Johnny cries whenever he must say hello to an adult; he is afraid of his own shadow....
18. A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, “So how high can you advance in your organization?” The Priest says “If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.” “Well, could you get any higher than that?” asks the Rabbi. “I suppose that […]...
19. A guy walks into a post office A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
20. Sending out many cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
21. The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Doctor – who tells her to “take off all her clothes.” The Dentist – who tells her to “open wide.” The Milkman – who asks her “do you want it in the front or the back?” The Hairdresser – who asks her “do you want […]...
22. A bad habit I overheard a friend telling his pal, “I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.” “What is she doing?”, the pal asks. “Waiting for me to get home.”...
23. The real treasure An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a […]...
24. Перевод слова guess Guess – гадать, догадываться, предполагать Перевод слова Scientific guess – научное предположение guess who did it! – догадайтесь, кто это сделал! I can guess your answer – я предвижу ваш ответ We may only Guess when it all began. Можно только догадываться, когда все это началось. I’d Guess she is thirty-something. Ей, наверное, немного за […]...
25. Значение идиомы cowboy [cowboy] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} A person who drives his car carelessly and at too great a speed in order to show off his courage. Joe’s going to be arrested some day – he is a cowboy on the highway....
26. A wish for Christmas It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and […]...
27. Offending Someone I was telling my friend, Gina, a joke. I began it by saying, “An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Frenchman walk into this bar, and…” Suddenly, Gina Grabbed my arm and shook her head. I turned around and our coworker, Colin, was standing right behind me. Eileen: Oh, hi Colin. I didn’t see you standing […]...
28. Значение идиомы eye shadow [eye shadow] {n. phr.} A cream used to darken the eyelids in orderto make the eyes more noticeable. Jane’s mother told her that girlsin the ninth grade shouldn’t be using eye shadow....
29. Is that your horse The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?” The cowboy looked at the […]...
30. Never say it at work TWELVE THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing. 2. If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s […]...
31. Значение идиомы on the track of [on the track of] or [on the trail of] Hunting or looking for;trying to find; following. The hunter is on the track of a deer. The lawyer is on the trail of new proof in the case. Jim collectsold stamps; he is on the track of one in Midville this afternoon....
32. A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. “Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”...
33. Значение идиомы beyond the shadow of a doubt [beyond the shadow of a doubt] {adv. phr.}, {formal and legal} Absolutely certain, totally convincing. Fred burglarized Mrs. Brown’s apartment, beyond the shadow of a doubt....
34. Back in the turn of the century in a mining town Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realised that she was not in the general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to […]...
35. Значение идиомы Indian sign [Indian sign] {n.}, {informal} A magic spell that is thought tobring bad luck; curse; jinx; hoo-doo. – Used with “the”, usually after”have” or “with”; and often used in a joking way. Bill is a goodplayer, but Ted has the Indian sign on him and always beats him. Father says that he always wins our checker […]...
36. Over the counter A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, “Do you sell Viagra here?” The pharmacist answers […]...
37. Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.” “Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing […]...
38. A man decided to have a face lift A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think […]...
39. This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
40. A man sat quietly reading his morning paper A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with “Daisy” written on it?” Man: “Oh honey, […]...