Quotes from stupid 02

Related topics:

1. Quotes from stupid 03These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: «Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy.» Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: «There’s nothing athletes like — or indeed hate — more than hanging around like this.» — David Coleman, BBC 1 TV «Not being in ... Читать далее...
2. Quotes from stupid 01These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. «The effects are fleeting and lingering…» — Overheard in a hallway «In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.» — CBS reporter during the solar eclipse «A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.» — ... Читать далее...
3. Stupid sports quotesThese are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world. Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, «Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.» New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:»I want to ... Читать далее...
4. Food quotes and quipsFood quotes, quips, and thoughts. . . «Artichokes… are just plain annoying… After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.» — Miss Piggy «The most remarkable thing about my ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова engineeringEngineering — технический, инженерный, прикладной; техника, технология Перевод слова Engineering industry — машиностроение engineering data — технические данные electrical engineering — электротехника The bridge is an Engineering triumph. Мост — технический триумф. How did genetic Engineering come about? Как возникла генная инженерия? She found work with an Engineering firm. Она нашла работу с инженерной фирме....
6. On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailyOn the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other — a star of David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and the other was overlooked. Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова competitionCompetition — соревнование, состязание, конкуренция Перевод слова Chess competition — шахматный турнир diving competition — соревнования по прыжкам в воду to meet with competition — сталкиваться с конкуренцией Who won the Competition? Кто выиграл конкурс? Competition should beat the price down. Цены должны упасть из-за конкуренции. Has Jim entered for the Competition? Джим будет участвовать ... Читать далее...
8. A stupid dogWhile leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie. Rabbi: «What are doing here with a dog?» Bernie: «The dog came here to pray.» «Oh, come ... Читать далее...
9. Stupid people storiesIDIOTS & RETAIL I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was ... Читать далее...
10. Preparing for a DisasterLilly: Quick, we need to go get some supplies. I was listening to Talk radio on my way home from work and this guy was on talking about how Doomsday is coming and we need to prepare. Paul: Oh no, not this again. You have to stop listening to that Garbage on the radio. Listen, ... Читать далее...
11. Stupid people fearingWANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind ... Читать далее...
12. How the creators of Airplane! pulled off one of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heardHoly hell! This is one of the funniest stories we’ve heard in a long time. Ask yourself, «how far are you willing to go for a joke?» Once you’ve determined that, realize that David Zucker is willing to take it even further. First some background. David Zucker and his brother Jerry Zucker are part of ... Читать далее...
13. Marriage quotes 02Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы rat race[rat race] {n.}, {slang} A very confusing, crowded, or disorderlyrush; a confusing scramble, struggle, or way of living that does notseem to have a purpose. The dance last night was a rat race. It wastoo noisy and crowded. School can be a rat race if you don’t keepup with your studies. This job is a ... Читать далее...
15. Software Engineering Glossary of Product TerminologyGlossary Terms -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Software Engineering Glossary of Product Terminology NEW: Different colors from previous version. ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version. UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition. ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn’t understand it. NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix. BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try. DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on ... Читать далее...
16. Ronald Reagan’s 10 best quotesSome people might look at all the President Reagan hoopla and say, «There you go again.» But who can resist putting together the ten best things Ronald Reagan ever said. Are these really the ten best quotes? «Trust, but verify» them yourself. The selection may be slightly subjective, but the ranking is based on hard ... Читать далее...
17. Stupid people awardsIt is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully). The 1997 nominees are: NOMINEE No.1: [San Jose Mervcury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы beat the pants off[beat the pants off] {v. phr.} 1. To prevail over someone in a race or competition. Jim beat the pants off George in the swimming race. 2. To give someone a severe physical beating. Jack beat the pants off the two young men who were trying to hold him up in Central Park....
19. Evaluating employeesRE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: «Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.» «His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.» «I would not allow this employee to breed.» «This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of ... Читать далее...
20. Marriage quotes 08Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. — Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties ... Читать далее...
21. Marriage quotes 10Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish ... Читать далее...
22. Marriage quotes 03There was a man who said, «I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!» Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a ... Читать далее...
23. Marriage quotes 01Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence — a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова churchChurch — церковь Перевод слова To consecrate a church — освящать церковь to go into the church — принимать духовный сан as poor as a church mouse — бедный, как церковная мышь The Church burnt to the ground. Церковь сгорела дотла. It sounds like the Church bells. Похоже на перезвон колоколов. The Church is seeking ... Читать далее...
25. Stupid people awards 02The 2000 Darwin awards! (15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum ... Читать далее...
26. Stupid people awards 01The Darwin Awards The long awaited 1999 Darwin «Natural Selection» Awards have been released! These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Ladies And Gentlemen… (drum roll… and envelope please)… We proudly ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова radioRadio — радио, радиовещание Перевод слова Broadcasting radio station — широковещательная радиостанция radio commentator — радиокомментатор radio frequency — частота радиоволн aeronautical radio station — авиационная радиостанция Turn the Radio down. Сделайте радио потише. The news was sent by Radio. Новости были переданы по радио. Is the Radio on? Радио работает?...
28. Перевод слова raceRace — заезд, состязание, гонки Перевод слова Flat race — скачки без препятствий to go to the races — ходить на скачки race crew — команда гоночной лодки cross-country race — бег по пересеченной местности The Race is long. Жизнь — это долгий путь. My Race is nearly over. Жизнь моя на исходе. Slow and ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова actualActual — фактический, реальный Перевод слова Actual data — фактические данные, реальные данные actual immunity — реальный, фактически действующий иммунитет actual intent — действительное намерение I’m not joking. Those were his Actual words. Я не шучу. Таковы были его слова. The Actual turnout was over one million a year. Реальный объем выпускаемой продукции составил больше ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы photo finish[photo finish] {n. phr.} A close finish in a race of people oranimals, where the camera must decide the actual result, sometimes bymillimeters. The black horse was declared the winner in a photofinish....
31. John and David were both patients in a Mental hospitalJohn and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. ... Читать далее...
32. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
33. Talking on a planeThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. «Coming up on the right, you can ... Читать далее...
34. Truly stupid people 02Top honors for «Human Projectile of the Month» go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual «Darwin Award». That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion. Troopers ... Читать далее...
35. Southerners are not that stupidA ventriloquist working down South, is confronted by a theater patron during his show. The hick stands up and yells, «HEY YOU! ON STAGE! You been making smart-ass remarks about us southerners being stupid all night long! We’re not all stupid ya know!» «Relax,» said the ventriloquist, «They’re just jokes!» «Shut up, buddy,» the hick ... Читать далее...
36. Very stupid musicianAugust, 1998, Montevideo, Uruguay Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra’s performance of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture at an outdoor children’s concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which ... Читать далее...
37. Truly stupid people 01A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in monthly payments. He’s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to ... Читать далее...
38. The stupid questionsThe below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, ... Читать далее...
39. Listening to Shock JocksI like listening to the radio on my morning Commute each day. This morning, though, my favorite DJs weren’t On the air. ………… Howard: Do you know what happened to the Kelvin and Ben show this morning? Robin: Kelvin and Ben are both on Suspension. The FCC fined the radio station. Apparently, Kelvin and Ben ... Читать далее...
40. David Copperfield is doing his magic show andDavid Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick. «I will», replies a guy in the audience, «but I’m going to need your wife Claudia and a table.» «Ok», says David and the guy gets on stage. He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down ... Читать далее...