Question answer 03

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1. Question answer 02 Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why’s that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football? They keep drawing! […]...
2. Question answer 05 Our team is doing so badly that “Manager of the Month” isn’t an award. It’s an appointment! Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated! Which insect didn’t play well in goal? The fumble bee! What did the bumble bee striker say? Hive scored! What is black and […]...
3. Question answer 06 What lights up a football stadium? A football match! If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls? Cornflakes! Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere! Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium! When fish play football, who is the captain? The […]...
4. Question answer 01 Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw! Where […]...
5. Question answer 04 What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic! Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence? A flat back four! Why did […]...
6. Question answer 07 How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden? Hide the ball, it drives them nuts! What’s tennis players favourite city? Volley wood! How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion! Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run! What is a runner’s favourite […]...
7. Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
8. Question answer 08 Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, a crossbar can’t jump! Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches! What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories! Who won the race between two balls of string? They we’re tied! Why are football players never […]...
9. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
10. Значение идиомы in question [in question] {adj. phr.} 1. In doubt; in dispute; being arguedabout or examined. I know Bill would he a good captain for theteam. That is not in question. But does he want to be captain? Contrast: BEYOND QUESTION. 2. Under discussion; being talked orthought about. The girls in question are not in school today. On […]...
11. A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I […]...
12. A merchant captain and several of his officers A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, “Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!” The following morning the […]...
13. Значение идиомы lay in [lay in] {v.} To store up a supply of; to get and keep for futureuse. Mrs. Mason heard that the price of sugar might go up, so shelaid in a hundred pounds of it. Before school starts, theprincipal will lay in plenty of paper for the students’ written work. Compare: LAY UP....
14. Перевод слова coin Coin – монета Перевод слова A coin is tossed – жребий брошен to change a coin – разменивать монету dud coin – фальшивая монета He’s Coining money. Он деньги лопатой гребет. A new Coin was issued. Была пущена в обращение новая монета. This Coin is a counterfeit. Эта монета фальшивая....
15. Getting an Advantage in Sports Tammy: What are you doing this year to give your team an Advantage? Phillip: I Have a few tricks up my sleeve. We’re going to have a Winning season. Tammy: Are you going To start Wang? Phillip: No, I’m Redshirting Wang. I want him to sit out his first year so he can Sharpen his […]...
16. Magician and Parrot Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician […]...
17. Упражнения на числительные (с ответами) 1. Найдите пары: слова из первого столбика и соответствующие цифры из второго. Н-р: 1 – d Seventy-two a) 31 Thirteen b) 11 Fifty-six c) 660 Eighty d) 72 Eighteen e) 315 Twenty-three f) 100 Eleven g) 13 Ninety h) 49 Twelve i) 925 Twenty j) 18 Nineteen k) 80 Forty-nine l) 504 One hundred m) […]...
18. Перевод идиомы divide something fifty-fifty / split something fifty-fifty, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: divide something fifty-fifty / split something fifty-fifty Перевод: разделить что-либо на две равные части Пример: We divided the money that we won fifty-fifty. Мы разделил деньги, которые выиграли, поровну....
19. A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. “Oh,” says the older priest, “give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents.”...
20. Значение идиомы cut the ground from under [cut the ground from under] {v. phr.} {informal} To make fail; upset the plans of; spoil the argument for in advance. Paul wanted to be captain but we cut the ground from under him by saying that Henry was the best player on the team. Several workers applied for the retiring foreman’s job, but the […]...
21. You Can Never Really Go Back You Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.” “Yeah,” she replied, “Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting […]...
22. Equally qualified Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went […]...
23. Перевод слова league League – лига, союз, группа Перевод слова To be not in the same league – не идти ни в какое сравнение top of the league – самый лучший в своем классе (в своей профессии, деятельности и т. п.) the League of Nations – Лига Наций He leads the League in rebounds. Он лидер лиги по […]...
24. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one – but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does […]...
25. Перевод слова fifty Fifty – пятьдесят Перевод слова A man of fifty – пятидесятилетний человек Chapter fifty – пятидесятая глава within a radius of fifty miles – в радиусе пятидесяти миль He is over Fifty. Ему за пятьдесят. The coat was below Fifty dollars! Пальто стоило меньше пятидесяти долларов! He left me a lousy Fifty cent tip. Он […]...
26. The baseball demands Top Baseball Player Demands From Late Show with David Letterman; Friday, August 12, 1994 In case anyone has od’ed on O. J. Simpson coverage or for those who might for some reason not know, the major league baseball player strike began today.] No team flights on Continental Airlines. Goodbye boring baseball hats, hello festive sombreros. […]...
27. Значение идиомы Ivy League [Ivy League] {n.} A small group of the older and more famouseastern U. S. colleges and universities. Several Ivy League teamsplay each other regularly each year. Harvard, Yale, and Princetonwere the original Ivy League....
28. Some things never change I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn. She said, “Well… the minimum I could work for is four hundred a week.” I told her I’d give her that much with […]...
29. Значение идиомы win one’s spurs [win one’s spurs] {v. phr.} 1. In old times, to be named a knightwith the right to wear little sharp spikes on your heels. A youngsquire won his spurs in battle. 2. To win fame or honor. The younglieutenant won his spurs by leading an attack on enemy machine guns. Edison won his spurs as […]...
30. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
31. Honeymooned! A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had planned to limit their stay to just the weekend, but were just unable to leave, enjoying themselves and each other so much, and extended their stay another day. Upon checking out, the desk […]...
32. Значение идиомы small fry [small fry] {n.} 1. Young children. In the park, a sandbox isprovided for the small fry. 2. Something or someone of littleimportance. Large dairies ignore the competition from the small frywho make only a few hundred pounds of cheese a year....
33. ZHow offensive is that? How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle’s. “Paul… Paul,” He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes […]...
34. Red shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and […]...
35. Значение идиомы farm out [farm out] {v.} 1. To have another person do for you;send away to be done. Our teacher had too many test papers to read, so she farmed out half of them to a friend. 2. To send away to betaken care of. While Mother was sick, the children were farmed outto relatives. 3. To send […]...
36. Значение идиомы fifty-fifty [fifty-fifty ] {adj.}, {informal} 1. Divided or shared equally. It will be a fifty-fifty arrangement; half the money for me and halffor you. 2. Half for and half against; half good and half bad. There is only a fifty-fifty chance that we will win the game. Compare: HALF AND HALF....
37. This lady who was living in New York City had to get back This lady who was living in New York City had to get back to her old country but she was broke. One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a worker getting ready to load supplies onto a boat. “Please I need to get back to England” she pleaded. “If you sneak me […]...
38. Перевод слова captain Captain – капитан Перевод слова To hold the rank of captain – иметь звание капитана captain’s shoulder straps – погоны капитана captain’s mate – помощник капитана They chose her as Captain. Ее выбрали капитаном. A general ranks a Captain. Генерал выше по званию, чем капитан. Captain is in close arrest. Капитан находится под строгим арестом. […]...
39. Bank Teller Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, “I want to open a fucking checking account”. “Please sir”, she replies, “we can’t have language like that in here.” “Why the Fuck not?” he asked. “Sir,” Came her retort, “I must ask you to refrain from swearing.” “I […]...
40. Planning a Business Luncheon One of my co-workers, Betty, was Retiring this month after working for the company 23 years. I was put In charge of planning a retirement lunch In her honor at a restaurant nearby. The company was Picking up the tab and it was Up to me to set a day and time. After asking the […]...