What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?
Sorry, it was a freak hic!
Why are football grounds odd?
Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits!
What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence?
A flat back four!
Why did the goal post get angry?
Because the bar was rattled!
What is the bank manager’s favourite type of football?
What part of a football ground is never the same?
The changing rooms!
What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
Bring on their subs!