Purchasing new brains

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1. The cost of a brain A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains. “How much does it cost for engineer brain?” “Three dollars an […]...
2. The Purchasing power Cologne, May 27 dpa – The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many “Big Mac” hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany’s leading institutes. The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald’s restaurant chain is increasingly being […]...
3. Перевод слова seventy Seventy – семьдесят, семидесятый Перевод слова A man of seventy – семидесятилетний мужчина seventy houses – семьдесят домов chapter seventy – семидесятая глава seventy-one – семьдесят один He was doing Seventy. Он ехал со скоростью семьдесят миль в час. He must be about Seventy. Ему должно быть около семидесяти лет. The house was appraised at […]...
4. A large difference A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out […]...
5. Перевод слова ounce Ounce – унция, чуточка Перевод слова Cents an ounce – центов за унцию an ounce of ability – зачаточные навыки coining value of an ounce of gold – монетная стоимость унции золота He hasn’t got an Ounce of sense. У него нет ни капли здравого смысла. An Ounce of practice equals a pound of theory. […]...
6. The clerk showed the man the store’s most expensive perfume The clerk showed the man the store’s most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It’s $285 per ounce.” “Listen,” the man shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don’t want something called ‘Perhaps’; I want something called… “You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You’ll Get Some!!”...
7. A talking bird One man wanted to make a special gift for his mother on the Mother’s day. He run out of ideas but then found a pet shop where was birds that could sing, talk and dance. The price was 5 thousand dollars, but he bought two of them and send to his mother as a surprise. […]...
8. Movie theater popcorn costs more than fillet mignon Movie theater popcorn apparently costs more per ounce than fillet mignon. You’re probably aware that if you go to the movies these days, you should probably show up well fed. Concession stand snacks and drinks are downright expensive, and if you see a lot of movies, you’ve probably considered sneaking your own into the theater. […]...
9. Here is a free puppy The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. He goes up to the girl and says, “Little girl, I think that it’s wonderful that you’re doing such a good thing.” The little girl says, “Thank you, Mr. Clinton. […]...
10. Democrats Republicans 1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. 2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out. 3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes. 4. Democrats give their worn-out […]...
11. What kind of a woman “Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?” asked John “Yes, I will.” Paula replied. “Would you do it for one thousand?” he asked. “Well maybe, or maybe I’d do something else for you.” she answered with a wink. “How about a blowjob for $20?” responded John. “Hey! What kind of women do you […]...
12. Упражнения на числительные (с ответами) 1. Найдите пары: слова из первого столбика и соответствующие цифры из второго. Н-р: 1 – d Seventy-two a) 31 Thirteen b) 11 Fifty-six c) 660 Eighty d) 72 Eighteen e) 315 Twenty-three f) 100 Eleven g) 13 Ninety h) 49 Twelve i) 925 Twenty j) 18 Nineteen k) 80 Forty-nine l) 504 One hundred m) […]...
13. A fair offer One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his […]...
14. Wrong floor Two accountants were discussing a colleague’s interest in one of the firm’s new secretaries. “I just don’t get it.” said one. “She’s an airhead – nothing going on upstairs. “That may be true,” replied the other, “but I don’t think that’s the floor he’s getting off on.”...
15. Purchasing a New Bird After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on […]...
16. An Other one Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s […]...
17. Buying your ticket Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all […]...
18. Several weeks after a young man had been hired Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man […]...
19. Перевод слова executive Executive – исполнительный, администраторский, организаторский Перевод слова Executive power – исполнительная власть executive duties – административные обязанности executive talent – организаторский талант He has an Executive position in the company. Он занимает руководящую должность в компании. She has good Executive skills. У нее хорошие управленческие навыки. In the U. S., the President is the head […]...
20. Значение идиомы win over [win over] {v. phr.} To convert to one’s position or point of view. The Democrats offered him a high-level executive position and thusway won him over to their side....
21. Honeymooned! A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had planned to limit their stay to just the weekend, but were just unable to leave, enjoying themselves and each other so much, and extended their stay another day. Upon checking out, the desk […]...
22. Перевод слова brain Brain – мозг Перевод слова Brain damage – повреждение мозга brain disorder – расстройство умственной деятельности engineering brain – технический склад ума My Brain was in a buzz. Мои мозги гудели. I am not a Brain as you well know. Как ты знаешь, я не слишком способный. Alcohol fogs his Brain. Алкоголь затуманивает его мозги....
23. Change my mind The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, “I give ten dollars.” Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. “I give a thousand dollars!” The minister said, “Lord, hit him again!”...
24. Перевод слова director Director – директор, руководитель, режиссер Перевод слова A bigtime director – прославленный режиссер acting director – исполняющий обязанности директора general director – генеральный директор She’s the Director of personnel. Она директор по персоналу. He acted as Director for a month. Он замещал директора в течение месяца. The Director shouts “Curtain up”. Режиссер кричит “поднять занавес!”. […]...
25. Japanese management lecture Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout. “You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution,” screamed the terrorist leader, “and you’re going to be executed! Do […]...
26. The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon’s office. “You know, Doc,” he said, “I’ve made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand.” “And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions,” […]...
27. Значение идиомы at all costs [at all costs] {adv. phr.} At any expense of time, effort, or money. Regardless of the results. Mr. Jackson intended to save his son’s eyesight at all costs. Carl is determined to succeed in his new job at all costs....
28. Understanding Corporate Structure Andrea: This Organizational chart is really confusing. Raffael: Why are you looking at that? Andrea: I have an interview next week and I’m trying To bone up on the company I’ll be interviewing with. I want to impress them, but this chart is really confusing. Raffael: Let me see. It’s a simple Flow chart. You […]...
29. Purchasing the shoes A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. “No problem,” says the mathematician, “there is a simple equation for that,” and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution. The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, “What is that symbol?” “That is the Greek […]...
30. A man walked into a lawyer’s office and A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. “Fifty dollars for three questions,” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”...
31. Seventy year old George went for his annual physical Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, “George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. We […]...
32. Collection 06 We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, “Do not come home and all will be forgiven”. You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I […]...
33. Buffalo analogy A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps […]...
34. Структура компании Accounts department – бухгалтерия Board of directors – совет директоров Chairman / chairperson – председатель Chief executive officer – главный исполнительный директор компании Director – директор, член совета директоров Executive officer / manager – управляющий делами, руководитель Headquarters – штаб-квартира Managing director – директор-распорядитель, исполнительное лицо компании Marketing department – отдел маркировки товаров Organization chart […]...
35. Структура компании на английском языке – accounts department – бухгалтерия – board of directors – совет директоров – chairman / chairperson – председатель – chief executive officer – главный исполнительный директор компании – director – директор, член совета директоров – executive officer / manager – управляющий делами, руководитель – headquarters – штаб-квартира – managing director – директор-распорядитель, исполнительное лицо компании […]...
36. Fly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna Fly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna And who says our controllers don’t have a sense of humor? ———————————————— November 22, 1996 – Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of […]...
37. American Corporate Culture – Американская корпоративная культура This corporate culture is also called Anglo-American. It appeared at the beginning of the 20th century before the Great Depression of 1920-1930. Now this kind of culture is spread widely in Americas, UK, in African countries and the Middle East. Anglo-American Corporate Culture is characterized with one lever of governance council. This very council also […]...
38. Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying […]...
39. Перевод слова expensive Expensive – дорогой, дорогостоящий, расточительный Перевод слова Expensive clothes – дорогая одежда expensive furs – ценные меха expensive man – расточительный человек expensive of health – подрывающий здоровье It’s more Expensive to live in the city than in the country. В городе жить намного дороже, чем в деревне. She’s always Expensively dressed. Она всегда дорого […]...
40. The corporate boat race An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became […]...