Play on the words

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1. Describing Old and New Clothes Ellen: What are you wearing to the party? Hiro: Your guess is as good as mine. Ellen: Let’s look through your Closet and I’ll help you Pick something out. Hiro: Okay, but I have to warn you. I have a pretty limited Wardrobe. Ellen: Let’s see, these black pants are nice, but they’re Frayed on […]...
2. A few words of wisdom “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone “Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.” – George Carlin “You have to stay in shape. My […]...
3. Feeling Restless and Jumpy Adam: Sit still and stop Bouncing your leg like that! Ellen: Sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing it. I’m just a little jittery. Adam: Well, try to Chill out. We’re supposed to be studying and your Restlessness is Distracting. Ellen: I can’t help it. I’m like this because I had a lot of coffee. […]...
4. The last words A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked little Johnny, he said, “My father’s dead, Miss.” “Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?” “He went blue, held his chest and moaned aaaaarrrrrrggg, and collapsed.”...
5. Перевод идиомы play dumb / play ignorant, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: play dumb / play ignorant Перевод: притворяться, делать вид, что не знать чего-либо; прикидываться “дурачком” Пример: I played dumb when my boss asked me if I knew about the problems with the telephone. Я сделал вид, что ничего не знаю, когда начальник спросил меня о проблемах с телефоном....
6. What kind of a woman “Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?” asked John “Yes, I will.” Paula replied. “Would you do it for one thousand?” he asked. “Well maybe, or maybe I’d do something else for you.” she answered with a wink. “How about a blowjob for $20?” responded John. “Hey! What kind of women do you […]...
7. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
8. Some horse-play The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal. “No,” he said, “I don’t believe I’ll need it. I’ll just grab onto her ears and hold on […]...
9. Пословица / поговорка sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me Перевод: палками и камнями можно поломать мне кости, но слова мне боли никогда не причинят Пример: The little boy yelled “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”, when the older boy started to […]...
10. Slow golfers ahead Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. […]...
11. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do […]...
12. Conditional Features Uslovnye edinicy the Play About Love – Условные единицы пьеса про любовь Once I was invited to the theatre and I thought: “Oh, you invite me to watch some classical play”, but the answer was the following: “Conditional features, the play about love, it is modern by the way.” It happened in november, the 22nd of november to be exact, at Drama theatre named after I. A. […]...
13. A word play A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.” The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word “‘fascinate.'” Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to […]...
14. Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. […]...
15. Перевод идиомы play something by ear / play by ear, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: play something by ear / play by ear Перевод: играть по слуху; играть на музыкальном инструменте по памяти, а не по нотным знакам Пример: Although the woman cannot read music she can play by ear and is a very good musician. Хотя женщина и не умеет читать ноты, она умеет играть по слуху, и […]...
16. Перевод слова population Population – население, популяция, жители Перевод слова Population bulge – демографический взрыв dense population – высокая плотность населения the very dregs of the population – отбросы общества India has a Population of more than 1 billion. Население Индии составляет более 1 млрд. The island’s Population irrupted. Население острова резко возросло. The goal is zero Population […]...
17. Значение идиомы steal one’s thunder [steal one’s thunder] {v. phr.} To do or say something, intentionally or not, that another person has planned to say or do. Fred intended to nominate Bill for president, but John got up firstand stole Fred’s thunder. Mary was going to sing “Oh! Susanna,”but Ellen did it first and Mary said Ellen had stolen her […]...
18. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]...
19. Seeing a Play I Ran into my neighbor, Dennis, yesterday afternoon. He asked if I wanted two tickets to the theater. He had Season tickets but couldn’t go to this performance. It was Opening night of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. I jumped at his offer and invited Lucy to come along. We arrived at the theater a half an […]...
20. New Words Each year, the Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners: Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Reintarnation: […]...
21. Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, […]...
22. Значение идиомы play for keeps [play for keeps] {v. phr.} To take an action of finality andirreversibility. “Are you serious about me?” she asked. “Yes,” hereplied. “I want to marry you. I play for keeps.”...
23. Chemist’s last words The last words of a chemist: 1. And now the tasting test. 2. May that become hot? 3. And now a little bit from this… 4. … and please keep that test tube alone! 5. And now shake it a bit. 6. Why is there no label on this bottle? 7. In which glass was […]...
24. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
25. Play the Office Game Here’s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When they’re not looking, pour […]...
26. Перевод идиомы play innocent, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: play innocent Перевод: притворяться невиновным Пример: The little boy played innocent when the teacher asked him about the broken window. Маленький мальчик делал вид, что он ни при чем, когда учитель спросил его о сломанном окне....
27. Ne day, this man, Tony, died One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could […]...
28. These two guys had just gotten divorces These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s […]...
29. The meaning of life A man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied, “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?” inquired the doctor. “No, I’ve never done any of those things either.” “Well […]...
30. The room was full of pregnant women and their partners The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is especially […]...
31. Топик “International Women’s Day (8 March) / Международный Женский День (8 Марта)” Словарь A present [ˈprez(ə)nt] – подарок To congratulate [kənˈɡrætjʊleɪt] – праздновать To wash up – мыть посуду To celebrate [ˈselɪbreɪt] – праздновать Almost [ˈɔːlməʊst] – почти Lay the table [leɪ ðə ˈteɪb(ə)l] – накрывать на стол The 8th of March is a great official holiday for all women. It began in 1909 by women in […]...
32. Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization… Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within […]...
33. Tombstone Epitaph X The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip: Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with “R. E. Danforth’s Non-Explosive Burning Fluid”...
34. A substitute for women A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.” “Yeah what happened?” asked his friend. The first guy replies, “Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”...
35. Alcohol vs Women A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.” “Yeah what happened?” asked the other. The first guy replies, “Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”...
36. Double vodka A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double vodka.” The barman says “Wow! you must have had one really bad day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same […]...
37. Значение идиомы call names [call names] {v. phr.} To use ugly or unkind words when speaking to someone or when talking about someone. – Usually used by or to children. Bill got so mad he started calling Frank names....
38. Перевод слова kind Kind – вид, тип, разновидность; добрый, хороший Перевод слова The wrong kind of paper – не такая бумага, как нужно the wolf is an animal of the dog kind – волк относится к семейству псовых the human kind – род человеческий kind person – добрый человек It’s Kind of you to say that. Очень мило […]...
39. Giving Opinions in a Meeting I was in a department meeting and our manager was asking for our Feedback on improving our product. I had a few ideas and I wanted To get them across, but one of my Colleagues was Giving me a hard time. Marcelo: In my opinion, I think that we need to look at the question […]...
40. A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?” The little boy replied, “Beer and women with big tits.”...