Phone joke II

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1. John receives a phone call John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers. The voice on the ot other end says, “This is Susan. We met a party about 3 months ago.” John: “Hmm… Susan? about 3 months ago?” Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got […]...
2. Taking a Phone Message I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the door, though, the phone rang. Paolo: Hello. Evelyn: Hi, Could I speak to Tony? Paolo: He’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Evelyn: Do you know when he’ll be back? Paolo: No, I don’t. Evelyn: […]...
3. Phone joke A few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and – such day, Illinois Bell would be “blowing the dust out of the phone lines” and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with […]...
4. Перевод слова phone Phone – телефон, звонить по телефону Перевод слова Phone booth – телефонная будка to leave the phone off the hook – не повесить телефонную трубку to call smb. to the phone – пригласить кого-л. к телефону to speak on the phone – говорить по телефону Can you get the Phone? Можешь принести телефон? I’ll Phone […]...
5. Значение идиомы call one’s shot [call one’s shot] {v. phr.} 1. To tell before firing where a bullet will hit. An expert rifleman can call his shot regularly. The wind was strong and John couldn’t call his shots. 2. or [call the turn] To tell in advance the result of something before you do it. Mary won three games in […]...
6. Switching Cell Phone Plans Paul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an […]...
7. Switching Cell Phone Plans Paul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an […]...
8. Phone keeps ringing The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won’t Stop Ringing? Here’s What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock […]...
9. Getting Through on the Phone I have been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of Medofact to talk about a Partnership between our company and theirs. But I’ve had a hard time trying to Get through on the phone. First, there was the phone tree. I had to go through three Menus before I got the Option to […]...
10. Answering Machine Messages I got two tickets to a Show at the last minute and I tried to find someone to go with me. First, I called Amanda. The phone Rang and rang and then her answering machine Picked up. “Hi, I’m not in right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon […]...
11. Shopping for a Cell Phone Salesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video […]...
12. Shopping for a Cell Phone Salesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video […]...
13. Working With The FBI The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this the FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.” “Thank you very much for the call, sir.” The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux’s house. They search the shed where […]...
14. Annoying phone calls The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking […]...
15. FCC slaps Florida highway cell phone jammer with $48K fine A Florida man is in big trouble for using a cell phone jammer while driving on the highway. 60-year-old Jason Humphreys admitted to police he’d used the device on his daily commute for roughly two years because he didn’t want drivers around him talking on their cell phones. But the powerful cell jammer shut down […]...
16. An Annoying Cell Phone User Carl: I’m sorry, say that again. I couldn’t hear you Over that guy at the next table Shouting into his cell phone. Stephanie: That guy is so Rude. We’re trying to have a Leisurely conversation over a cup of coffee, and we have To out shout some Inconsiderate jerk. Carl: Do you think he realizes […]...
17. Английские слова и словосочетания на тему телефонного разговора Phone / telephone – телефон; звонить по телефону Telephone booth / telephone box – телефонная будка Pay phone / call box – телефон-автомат, общественный телефон Switchboard – коммутатор Receiver – телефонная трубка Pager – пейджер Cellular phone / cell phone – сотовый телефон Mobile phone – мобильный телефон Cordless phone – беспроводной телефон Answering machine […]...
18. Man takes the ferry home from work John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. […]...
19. Home Shopping Victor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted […]...
20. Home Shopping Victor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted […]...
21. Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. “I call my man ‘Eight,’ ” said the first woman, “Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.” The second woman said in response, “I call my […]...
22. Значение идиомы call it a night [call it a night] {v. phr.} To declare that an evening party or other activity conducted late in the day is finished. I am so tired that I am going to call it a night and go to bed....
23. Being Pestered on the Phone Gisele: Our phone has been Ringing off the hook all weekend. What’s the deal? Nobu: I think it’s Jeanine. Gisele: Jeanine…Jeanine…Is that the woman you’ve been Going out with? Nobu: Yeah, it’s her. I tried To let her down easy, but she’s not Taking the hint. Gisele: I see. That’s why you’ve been Screening calls. […]...
24. Seventy year old George went for his annual physical Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, “George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. We […]...
25. A man spoke frantically into the phone A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the emergency operator asked. “No, you idiot!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”...
26. Значение идиомы heart and soul [heart and soul ] {n.} Eager love; strong feeling; greatenthusiasm. Often used with a singular verb. When Mr. Pitt playsthe piano, his heart and soul is in it. John plays tennis badly, but with heart and soul. Mary wanted a puppy with all her heartand soul....
27. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
28. Значение идиомы in turn [in turn] {adv. phr.} According to a settled order; each followinganother. Each man in turn got up and spoke. Two teacherssupervised the lunch hour in turn. Two of the three boys teasetheir younger brother – John, the biggest, teases Bob, the middle boy;and Bob in turn teases Tim, the youngest. Compare: IN ORDER....
29. A man answers the phone and has the following A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult – I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. “Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was […]...
30. What marketing is Now I understand what marketing is: You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: “I am very good in bed”. That is Direct Marketing. You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends […]...
31. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Секретарь по телефону (Secretary Answering The Phone)” По-английски Перевод на русский Secretary: Good afternoon. Siemens Electronics. How can I help you? Секретарь: Добрый день. Сименс Электроникс. Чем могу вам помочь? Caller 1: Hello. I would like to speak to the Executive manager, please. Звонящий 1: Здравствуйте. Я хотел бы поговорить с исполнительным директором, пожалуйста. Secretary: He is not here at the moment. […]...
32. I. R. S. phone calls The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
33. Phone songs All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 […]...
34. Значение идиомы have a time [have a time] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To have trouble; have a hardtime. Poor Susan had a time trying to get the children to go tobed. John had a time passing his math course. 2. To have a goodtime; to have fun. – Used with a reflexive pronoun. Bob had himselfa time going to every […]...
35. Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn’t have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors, and asked him, “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Private Duncan replied, “Sure.” The Corporal turned red. He said, “That’s no way to address a superior officer! Now let’s […]...
36. Trying to Get Off the Phone Erin: So I told Joey that I had no Intention of letting him use my car again. Can you believe The nerve of that guy, after what he did? Curran: That’s terrible, but I’m going to have To let you go. I have an appointment… Erin: But I didn’t tell you what else he said. […]...
37. Psychiatrist phone Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so […]...
38. Wanting Peace and Quiet After three days of travel and meetings, I returned to my hotel room ready for some Downtime. All I wanted was some Peace and quiet so I could get a Good night’s sleep. … [phone rings] Carl: Hello. Hotel staff: Hello, Mr. Mendez. I’m calling to welcome you to our hotel. I hope you’re finding […]...
39. Значение идиомы turn [turn] See: AT EVERY TURN, BLOOD RUN COLD or BLOOD TURNS TO ICE, BYTURNS, CALL THE TURN at CALL ONE’S SHOTS, EVERY TIME ONE TURNSAROUND, IN TURN, NOT KNOW WHICH WAY TO TURN, OUT OF TURN, TAKE A TURN, TAKE TURNS, TO A T or TO A TURN....
40. Very fair payment An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex,” said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.” Just then, the phone rang and […]...