Phone joke

Related topics:

1. Annoying phone callsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking ... Читать далее...
2. Phone joke IIOne night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number ... Читать далее...
3. FCC slaps Florida highway cell phone jammer with $48K fineA Florida man is in big trouble for using a cell phone jammer while driving on the highway. 60-year-old Jason Humphreys admitted to police he’d used the device on his daily commute for roughly two years because he didn’t want drivers around him talking on their cell phones. But the powerful cell jammer shut down ... Читать далее...
4. John receives a phone callJohn receives a phone call. «Hello,» he answers. The voice on the ot other end says, «This is Susan. We met a party about 3 months ago.» John: «Hmm… Susan? about 3 months ago?» Susan: «Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got ... Читать далее...
5. An Annoying Cell Phone UserCarl: I’m sorry, say that again. I couldn’t hear you Over that guy at the next table Shouting into his cell phone. Stephanie: That guy is so Rude. We’re trying to have a Leisurely conversation over a cup of coffee, and we have To out shout some Inconsiderate jerk. Carl: Do you think he realizes ... Читать далее...
6. President Carter’s jokeIn an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story ... Читать далее...
7. Phone keeps ringingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won’t Stop Ringing? Here’s What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова phonePhone — телефон, звонить по телефону Перевод слова Phone booth — телефонная будка to leave the phone off the hook — не повесить телефонную трубку to call smb. to the phone — пригласить кого-л. к телефону to speak on the phone — говорить по телефону Can you get the Phone? Можешь принести телефон? I’ll Phone ... Читать далее...
9. Newly issued alcohol warningsThe Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a ... Читать далее...
10. A man answers the phone and has the followingA man answers the phone and has the following conversation: «Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult — I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. «Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was ... Читать далее...
11. Warning labelsIf government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major ... Читать далее...
12. HOT STEAMNew secretary (second day on the job) answers telephone as is told in official tones: «This is the phone company. We are testing a new circuit wiring scheme in your offices. Please keep everyone off the phones for the next 10 minutes. We will be verifying the correct wiring of your system by passing HOT ... Читать далее...
13. Describing Brisk and Slow BusinessClint: Anya! Long time no see. Let me buy you a drink. I’m celebrating. Anya: Oh, yeah? What’s the good news? Clint: My company has had a Banner month. Since we Launched our new Line of software, we’re having trouble Keeping up with demand. Every product is Flying off the shelves. Anya: Wow, that’s great ... Читать далее...
14. Shopping for a Cell PhoneSalesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video ... Читать далее...
15. Shopping for a Cell PhoneSalesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video ... Читать далее...
16. I got a great Polish jokeA guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, «Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…» The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: «Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of ... Читать далее...
17. Yet another dorm jokeHere’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we ... Читать далее...
18. Being Pestered on the PhoneGisele: Our phone has been Ringing off the hook all weekend. What’s the deal? Nobu: I think it’s Jeanine. Gisele: Jeanine…Jeanine…Is that the woman you’ve been Going out with? Nobu: Yeah, it’s her. I tried To let her down easy, but she’s not Taking the hint. Gisele: I see. That’s why you’ve been Screening calls. ... Читать далее...
19. Taking a Phone MessageI was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the door, though, the phone rang. Paolo: Hello. Evelyn: Hi, Could I speak to Tony? Paolo: He’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Evelyn: Do you know when he’ll be back? Paolo: No, I don’t. Evelyn: ... Читать далее...
20. A man spoke frantically into the phoneA man spoke frantically into the phone: «My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!» «Is this her first child?» the emergency operator asked. «No, you idiot!» the man shouted. «This is her husband!»...
21. Перевод слова dustDust — пыль Перевод слова To carry off dust — разносить пыль a trail of dust — шлейф пыли volcanic dust — вулканическая пыль Dust the pan with flour. Присыпьте сковородку мукой. The Dust made him cough. От пыли он закашлялся. The floor was covered with Dust. Пол был покрыт пылью....
22. Значение идиомы ring a bell[ring a bell] {v. phr.} To make you remember something; soundfamiliar. Not even the cat’s meowing seemed to ring a bell withJudy. She still forgot to feed him. When Ann told Jim the name ofthe new teacher it rang a bell, and Jim said, «I went to school with aJames Carson.»...
23. Switching Cell Phone PlansPaul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an ... Читать далее...
24. Switching Cell Phone PlansPaul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an ... Читать далее...
25. Using the TelephoneCharles: I don’t know how long this Power outage is going to last. Do you think we should call Elizabeth to tell her we’ll be late for dinner? Jane: That’s a good idea. Do you know her Phone number offhand? Charles: No, I don’t, and I can’t look it up in my Address book or ... Читать далее...
26. Trying to Get Off the PhoneErin: So I told Joey that I had no Intention of letting him use my car again. Can you believe The nerve of that guy, after what he did? Curran: That’s terrible, but I’m going to have To let you go. I have an appointment… Erin: But I didn’t tell you what else he said. ... Читать далее...
27. Плюсы и минусы телефона в школе/ Pros And Cons Of Mobile Phone At SchoolНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Pros And Cons Of Mobile Phone At School Плюсы и минусы телефона в школе As the technology develops, we face more and more issues. We live in the world of personal computers, digital TVs, mobile phones, MP3-palyers, e-books, etc. From the one hand, it’s good that children can ... Читать далее...
28. I. R. S. phone callsThe following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
29. Phone songsAll of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 ... Читать далее...
30. Outhouse jokeA few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to ... Читать далее...
31. Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phoneCorporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn’t have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors, and asked him, «Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?» Private Duncan replied, «Sure.» The Corporal turned red. He said, «That’s no way to address a superior officer! Now let’s ... Читать далее...
32. Getting Through on the PhoneI have been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of Medofact to talk about a Partnership between our company and theirs. But I’ve had a hard time trying to Get through on the phone. First, there was the phone tree. I had to go through three Menus before I got the Option to ... Читать далее...
33. Gas-tank jokeThis practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and ... Читать далее...
34. Marines and the policeThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to «cover» him as he approched the store (to police, «cover» means to point your weapons ... Читать далее...
35. Ex-Police car jokeWe have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s ... Читать далее...
36. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова coverCover — крышка, обложка; охватывать, покрывать Перевод слова A cover for a chair — чехол для стула to take cover — найти убежище to cover up a baby — укутать ребенка to cover one’s tracks — заметать следы Cover up the soup to keep it hot. Закрой суп, чтобы он не остыл. Do you want ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова storyStory — рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story — рассказ, новелла funny story — анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story — самое главное в романе — это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. ... Читать далее...
39. A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionistA man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. «Good,» says the man. «That means I must have really escaped.»...
40. Перевод слова bellBell — колокол, колокольчик Перевод слова Tom bell — большой колокол death bell — похоронный звон dinner bell — звонок к обеду The Bell called to dinner. Позвонили к обеду. The great Bell fetches us in. Звон колокола приглашает нас войти. The big Bell bonged. Огромный колокол издал протяжный низкий звук. Примеры из жизни Jingle ... Читать далее...