Phone joke

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1. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
2. Annoying phone calls The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking […]...
3. An Annoying Cell Phone User Carl: I’m sorry, say that again. I couldn’t hear you Over that guy at the next table Shouting into his cell phone. Stephanie: That guy is so Rude. We’re trying to have a Leisurely conversation over a cup of coffee, and we have To out shout some Inconsiderate jerk. Carl: Do you think he realizes […]...
4. I. R. S. phone calls The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
5. FCC slaps Florida highway cell phone jammer with $48K fine A Florida man is in big trouble for using a cell phone jammer while driving on the highway. 60-year-old Jason Humphreys admitted to police he’d used the device on his daily commute for roughly two years because he didn’t want drivers around him talking on their cell phones. But the powerful cell jammer shut down […]...
6. Being Pestered on the Phone Gisele: Our phone has been Ringing off the hook all weekend. What’s the deal? Nobu: I think it’s Jeanine. Gisele: Jeanine…Jeanine…Is that the woman you’ve been Going out with? Nobu: Yeah, it’s her. I tried To let her down easy, but she’s not Taking the hint. Gisele: I see. That’s why you’ve been Screening calls. […]...
7. Phone keeps ringing The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won’t Stop Ringing? Here’s What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock […]...
8. Перевод слова phone Phone – телефон, звонить по телефону Перевод слова Phone booth – телефонная будка to leave the phone off the hook – не повесить телефонную трубку to call smb. to the phone – пригласить кого-л. к телефону to speak on the phone – говорить по телефону Can you get the Phone? Можешь принести телефон? I’ll Phone […]...
9. Значение идиомы in print [in print] {adj. phr.} Obtainable in printed form from a printer orpublisher; printed. The author has finished writing his book but itis not yet in print. The story of the students’ trip to Washingtonappeared in print in the newspaper. It is a very old book and nolonger in print. Contrast: OUT OF PRINT....
10. John receives a phone call John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers. The voice on the ot other end says, “This is Susan. We met a party about 3 months ago.” John: “Hmm… Susan? about 3 months ago?” Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got […]...
11. A man answers the phone and has the following A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult – I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. “Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was […]...
12. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
13. Harming a Professional Reputation Alex: Good morning. What’s with the Gloom and doom? Paige: Have you seen this morning’s newspaper? Alex: No, I haven’t. Paige: You’d better read this. It’s an article about our company. Alex: Let me see that. This is Outrageous! How can anybody print such lies? We’re not On the verge of going under. How did […]...
14. Reporting the News I have always wanted to be a News reporter. When I was about 10 years old, I would write my own news stories and Publish them in my own newspaper. In reality, the newspaper was just a piece of paper on which I’d written my stories and drew my pictures, but it was My first […]...
15. Значение идиомы sort out [sort out] {v. phr.} 1. To alphabetize; arrange in numerical order. The secretary helped Professor Brown sort out his numerous indexcards. 2. To clarify. “Help me sort out these bills,” she beggedher husband....
16. Shopping for a Cell Phone Salesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video […]...
17. Shopping for a Cell Phone Salesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video […]...
18. The crusty old managing partner finally passed away The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his law firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. “I’m sorry, he’s dead,” was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. […]...
19. Taking a Phone Message I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the door, though, the phone rang. Paolo: Hello. Evelyn: Hi, Could I speak to Tony? Paolo: He’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Evelyn: Do you know when he’ll be back? Paolo: No, I don’t. Evelyn: […]...
20. A man spoke frantically into the phone A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the emergency operator asked. “No, you idiot!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”...
21. Перевод слова dust Dust – пыль Перевод слова To carry off dust – разносить пыль a trail of dust – шлейф пыли volcanic dust – вулканическая пыль Dust the pan with flour. Присыпьте сковородку мукой. The Dust made him cough. От пыли он закашлялся. The floor was covered with Dust. Пол был покрыт пылью....
22. Switching Cell Phone Plans Paul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an […]...
23. Switching Cell Phone Plans Paul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an […]...
24. Using the Telephone Charles: I don’t know how long this Power outage is going to last. Do you think we should call Elizabeth to tell her we’ll be late for dinner? Jane: That’s a good idea. Do you know her Phone number offhand? Charles: No, I don’t, and I can’t look it up in my Address book or […]...
25. Totally messed up The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P. M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him […]...
26. HOT STEAM New secretary (second day on the job) answers telephone as is told in official tones: “This is the phone company. We are testing a new circuit wiring scheme in your offices. Please keep everyone off the phones for the next 10 minutes. We will be verifying the correct wiring of your system by passing HOT […]...
27. This man got his prescription for Viagra This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, “I’ll be home in an hour.” “Perfect,” she replies. The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He […]...
28. Плюсы и минусы телефона в школе/ Pros And Cons Of Mobile Phone At School На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Pros And Cons Of Mobile Phone At School Плюсы и минусы телефона в школе As the technology develops, we face more and more issues. We live in the world of personal computers, digital TVs, mobile phones, MP3-palyers, e-books, etc. From the one hand, it’s good that children can […]...
29. Phone songs All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 […]...
30. Getting Through on the Phone I have been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of Medofact to talk about a Partnership between our company and theirs. But I’ve had a hard time trying to Get through on the phone. First, there was the phone tree. I had to go through three Menus before I got the Option to […]...
31. Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn’t have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors, and asked him, “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Private Duncan replied, “Sure.” The Corporal turned red. He said, “That’s no way to address a superior officer! Now let’s […]...
32. A Vital Part of Daily Life: Mobile Phones Mobile phones have changed people’s lives. They give us an opportunity to stay in touch and to be reachable everywhere. If you are going to be late, you can just call your relatives, friends or colleagues or send them a text message. It is very easy and comfortable, especially for the busy modern lifestyle. So […]...
33. Trying to Get Off the Phone Erin: So I told Joey that I had no Intention of letting him use my car again. Can you believe The nerve of that guy, after what he did? Curran: That’s terrible, but I’m going to have To let you go. I have an appointment… Erin: But I didn’t tell you what else he said. […]...
34. Перевод слова cover Cover – крышка, обложка; охватывать, покрывать Перевод слова A cover for a chair – чехол для стула to take cover – найти убежище to cover up a baby – укутать ребенка to cover one’s tracks – заметать следы Cover up the soup to keep it hot. Закрой суп, чтобы он не остыл. Do you want […]...
35. Перевод слова print Print – отпечаток, печатать Перевод слова Print of a foot upon the sand – след ноги на песке sorrow’s print upon his face – следы горя на его лице the book is now printing – книга печатается to get into print – появиться в печати It is their job to Print the truth. Печатать правду […]...
36. My friend is dead! Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: […]...
37. A new way to loose weight A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the […]...
38. A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. “Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”...
39. Newspapers Топик Газеты рассказывает о важной роли периодики в формировании общественного мнения и информировании людей о текущих событиях. Из этого топика вы узнаете о газетах – “первопроходцах” и о преимуществах газет перед другими средствами массовой информации – журналами, телевидением и радио. Приводятся сведения об основных газетах США и о еженедельных газетах, издающихся в небольших населенных пунктах […]...
40. Перевод слова bell Bell – колокол, колокольчик Перевод слова Tom bell – большой колокол death bell – похоронный звон dinner bell – звонок к обеду The Bell called to dinner. Позвонили к обеду. The great Bell fetches us in. Звон колокола приглашает нас войти. The big Bell bonged. Огромный колокол издал протяжный низкий звук. Примеры из жизни Jingle […]...