On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door

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1. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
2. A man was leaving church one dayA man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, «You need to join the Army of the Lord!» The man replied, «I’m ... Читать далее...
3. After church on Sunday morning, a young boyAfter church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, «Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. «That’s okay with us,» the mother said, «But what made you decide to be a minister?» «Well,» the boy replied, «I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, ... Читать далее...
4. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
5. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова frankFrank — откровенный, искренний Перевод слова To be frank — говоря откровенно frank manner — открытая манера держаться frank acknowledgment — искренняя благодарность She was Frank with us about everything. Она ничего не скрывала от нас. Our teacher is very Frank about telling his students. Наш преподаватель очень откровенен со своими студентами. His manner was ... Читать далее...
7. Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandyKnowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration — that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. «Gladly,» responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder ... Читать далее...
8. On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailyOn the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other — a star of David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and the other was overlooked. Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and ... Читать далее...
9. When I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old ChrisWhen I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. «Is that your grandmother?» I asked Chris when he boarded. «Yes,» Chris said. «She’s come to visit us for Christmas.» «How nice,» I said. «Where does she live?» ... Читать далее...
10. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermonThe minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone ... Читать далее...
11. A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueA priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова churchChurch — церковь Перевод слова To consecrate a church — освящать церковь to go into the church — принимать духовный сан as poor as a church mouse — бедный, как церковная мышь The Church burnt to the ground. Церковь сгорела дотла. It sounds like the Church bells. Похоже на перезвон колоколов. The Church is seeking ... Читать далее...
13. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод идиомы from door to door, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: from door to door Перевод: ходить от одной двери к другой Пример: The children went from door to door to collect money for the earthquake victims. Дети ходили от двери к двери и собирали деньги для пострадавших во время землетрясения....
15. A door-to-door vacuum salesman goesA door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, «Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы door[door] See: AT DEATH’S DOOR, AT ONE’S DOOR, CLOSED-DOOR, CLOSE ITS DOORS, CLOSE THE DOOR or BAR THE DOOR or SHUT THE DOOR, DARKEN ONE’S DOOR, or DARKEN THE DOOR, FOOT IN THE DOOR, KEEP THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR, LAY AT ONE’S DOOR, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTER THE HORSE IS STOLEN, NEXT DOOR, ... Читать далее...
17. A Change Of VowsDuring the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. «Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d ... Читать далее...
18. An unfortunate coincidenceOne day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. «Reverend,» she said, «I have a problem—my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?» «I have an idea,» said the minister. «Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell ... Читать далее...
19. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
20. Frank OConnor — Франк ОКоннорOne of my favorite authors is Frank O’Connor. Frank O’Connor is a pseudonym of Michael Odonovan, born in Cork, Ireland in 1903. He grew up in an Irish provincial town. His published works include poems, plays, novels, translations, criticism. Frank O’Connor was a real master of the short story. He could draw his readers into ... Читать далее...
21. A very religious man lived right next door to an atheistA very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова doorDoor — дверь Перевод слова Delivery at door — доставка заказов на дом dent on the door of a car — вмятина на двери автомобиля double door — двойная дверь The Door is ajar. Дверь приоткрыта. He barred the Door. Он запер дверь. Back from the Door! Отойди от двери!...
23. A Traditional WeddingI arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’d attended a religious one. They had asked a Minister To Officiate. When I arrived, Karin and her Fiance, Jan, were standing in front ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы close the door[close the door] or [bar the door] or [shut the door] {v. phr.} To prevent any more action or talk about a subject. The President’s veto closed the door to any new attempt to pass the bill. Joan was much hurt by what Mary said, and she closed the door on Mary’s attempt to apologize. ... Читать далее...
25. The angry wife met her husband at the doorThe angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk of alcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. «I assume,» she barked, «there is a very good reason for you to come drifting in at six o’clock in the morning?» «There is!» he replied, «Breakfast.»...
26. Значение идиомы next door[next door] {adv.} or {adj.} 1. In or to the next house orapartment. He lived next door to me. She telephoned next doorto ask about John. The house next door caught fire. 2. Veryclose. — Used with «to». The sick man was next door to death. Printing secrets about our country’s missiles is next door ... Читать далее...
27. The ReverendFrancis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, ... Читать далее...
28. Eating Junk FoodFrank: Hand me That bag of Potato chips. Katie: Here. You mean you’re still hungry after two Burgers and French fries? Frank: Yeah, I am. I’m a growing boy. Where’s the Popcorn? Katie: I can’t believe we’re eating all of this Junk food. I’m supposed To be watching what I eat. Frank: Forget about it. ... Читать далее...
29. Пословица / поговорка lock the barn door after the horse is stolen / shut the stable door when the steed is stolen — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: lock the barn door after the horse is stolen / shut the stable door when the steed is stolen Перевод: запереть конюшню после того, как лошадь украли (т. е. принимать меры предосторожности слишком поздно) Эквивалент в русском языке: задним умом крепок Пример: The stadium managers tried to stop people from entering the ... Читать далее...
30. Two men were stopped by a TV newswomanTwo men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election. «I’m not voting for any of the candidates,» the first man said. «I don’t know any of them.» «I feel the same way,» the second man said. «Only I know them all.»...
31. This businessman was walking down the sidewalkThis businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed the door shut taking off. Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод идиомы at death’s door, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: at death’s door Перевод: при смерти, на краю гибели Пример: The young woman was at death’s door after the accident. После несчастного случая молодая женщина находилась на краю от гибели....
33. Перевод слова profitProfit — прибыль, польза, выгода Перевод слова Handsome profit — большая прибыль, большой доход non-profit hospital — общественная больница I have read it to my profit — я прочел это с пользой для себя The company made a Profit this year. В этом году компания принесла прибыль. You can even Profit from your mistakes. Вы ... Читать далее...
34. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
35. One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighborOne afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor, to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god you look so depressed. She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me…six dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I’m going to have to ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы show the door[show the door] {v. phr.} To ask to go away. Ruth wasupsetting the other children, so I showed her the door. Ourneighbors invited themselves to the party and stayed until Harryshowed them the door....
37. Значение идиомы darken one’s door[darken one’s door] or [darken the door] To appear, as in a doorway; enter someone’s home or establishment. — Used in negative imperative sentences especially with «never» and «again». If you leave this house now, never darken my door again. After a son shamed his father by having to go to prison, the father told ... Читать далее...
38. A pastor in Maine skipped services one SundayA pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. the pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and ... Читать далее...
39. The young wife was in tears when she opened the doorThe young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. «I’ve been insulted,» she sobbed. «Your mother insulted me.» «My mother!» he exclaimed. «But she is a hundred miles away.» «I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.» He looked stern, «I see, but where ... Читать далее...
40. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped byA juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. «What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?» asks the cop. «I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.» «Oh yeah?» says the doubtful cop. «Lets see you do it.» The juggler gets out and starts juggling ... Читать далее...