No children yet

Related topics:

1. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter […]...
2. Going crazy with confusion A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then […]...
3. Life as a thing Life is so interesting thing…. when i was 3 years i always ask her play game with me. i was so small and also i was sweat. Now i am 13 years old, i really grow up.. at the moment i am studying chinese in China. I have a dream be with my mother very […]...
4. Describing Family Relations Eri: What’s that? James: It’s an invitation to a Family reunion. Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one. Eri: Are you going? James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing Extended family. Did you know that there used to be a big Feud between my father and his […]...
5. After putting her children to bed, a mother After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed […]...
6. Very different children Two ten-year-old children were exactly opposites: Bill was a die-hard optimist, and Bob a hopeless pessimist. The mom asked the psychiatrist what to do about Christmas. The doctor told her to buy all the toys she could for Bob and get Bill nothing. In fact, he said just to wrap up some manure for Bill […]...
7. A mother-daughter conversation A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she’s a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it’s like for her. Mom: So….now that you have started dating, what’s it like getting intimate with […]...
8. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also […]...
9. State of Arkansas Residency Application State of Arkansas Residency Application Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister […]...
10. Being a Strict Parent Allison: I’m almost ready for my granddaughter’s visit. She’ll be here tomorrow and I want everything to be perfect. Ola: What do you have planned? Allison: I’m going To spoil her rotten. My daughter is very Strict and doesn’t allow her to do anything that a normal 10-year-old wants to do. Ola: Like what? Allison: […]...
11. My Family I am Zhilin Andrey. Andrey is my name and Zhilin is my surname. I am seventeen years old. I want to tell you a few words about my family. My family is not large. I have got mother, father and grandmother. There are four of us in the family. First of all some words about […]...
12. The right rhythm On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.” Horrified, Katie told her […]...
13. A man moves into a nudist colony A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part. Later he […]...
14. Значение идиомы children should be seen and not heard [children should be seen and not heard] A command issued by adults to children ordering them to be quiet and not to interrupt. – A proverb. Your children should not argue so loudly. Haven’t you taught them that children should be seen and not heard?...
15. First grade romance An honest 7-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. “How did that happen?” gasped her mother. “It wasn’t easy,” admitted her daughter, “but three girls helped me catch him....
16. Перевод слова children Children – дети Перевод слова Children’s book – книга для детей day care for children – присмотр за детьми careful children – заботливые дети He has no Children. У него нет детей. My Children don’t ski Мои дети не катаются на лыжах. Children love to act. Дети любят играть в театр. Интересные факты Английское существительное […]...
17. A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you […]...
18. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
19. Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old woman walked by. “Hey, Billy Joe,” one said, “I think that’s Mother Teresa.” “Your nuts.” “I’m telling you.” They approached the woman and one asked, “Are you Mother Teresa?” The old lady eyed them scornfully. “Fuck off, you goddamn perverts,” she hissed, […]...
20. And Badly-Behaved Children Josephine: Hello. Ray: Hi, Josephine, it’s Ray. We have a meeting today at 10 a. m. and I was wondering if you would mind if I brought my kids with me. Their babysitter didn’t show up. Josephine: Oh, sure. That’s no problem. Your children are so Well-behaved. Even at their age, they have Impeccable manners. […]...
21. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
22. The hamster and the pollar bear The daughter asks her mother: -My dear mother, please buy for me a hamster! -My daughter you will get tired of it, what will you do with it then? It isn’t a toy, you can’t throw it away! -Then we will buy a cat! The cat will eat a hamster and it will live with […]...
23. Перевод слова grandmother Grandmother – бабушка Перевод слова To hug one’s grandmother – обнять свою бабушку teach grandmother – яйца курицу не учат; учить старшего; учить ученого great-grandmother – прабабка Grandmother dotes on the twins. Бабушка без ума от близнецов. She was named for her Grandmother. Ее назвали в честь бабушки. Her Grandmother must be pushing 75. Ее […]...
24. Giving Bribes to Children for Good Behavior Camille: No, you can’t have a new bike if you get an “A” on the test. You should study because you want to do well in school. We’ll talk about it when I get home tonight. Kids! Aaron: What’s the matter? Camille: My kids won’t do anything without an Incentive. I know it’s my own […]...
25. Английский разговорник для туристов онлайн на тему “Семья и родственники” с произношением По-русски По-английски Произношение Вы женаты (замужем)? Are you married? А: ю: мэрид? – Я женат (замужем). – I’m married. – айм мэрид – Я вдовец (вдова). – I’m a widower (widow). – айм э уидоуэ: (уидоу) – Я холост (не замужем). – I’m single.. – айм сингл – Я разведен (разведена). – I’m divorced. – […]...
26. Homework One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, “We’re learning about sexual education.” She smiled, and said, “At least he’s learning something usefull.” Billy went up to his room. A little later, Billy’s mom went up to his room to call him down to dinner. […]...
27. Worrying About Your Children Pavel: I’m really worried about Hanna. She’s been Hanging around with that girl Carla, and Carla Runs with the wrong crowd. Hillary: Hanna is Rebelling a little. That’s Natural at her age. When I was her age, I thought I knew more than my parents or any adult, and that I should be able to […]...
28. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon” Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the […]...
29. Значение идиомы children and fools speak the truth [children and fools speak the truth] Children and fools say things without thinking; they say what they think or know when grown-ups might not think it was polite or wise to do so. – A proverb. “Uncle Willie is too fat,” said little Agnes. “Children and fools speak the truth,” said her father....
30. Punishing Children Yuki: What are you doing? Al: I’m getting ready to give Charlie a Spanking for Beating up his classmate. He has to learn that there are serious Consequences for his actions. Yuki: You’re Punishing him for beating someone by giving him a beating? That doesn’t make sense. Our response shouldn’t be An eye for an […]...
31. The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
32. Karam Chand, 110, believed to be longest-married dies The couple were married in 1925 and they have eight children and 27 grandchildren. A man who was one half of what is believed to be the longest-married couple in the UK has died aged 110. Karam Chand, of Bradford, died on Friday after 90 years of marriage to his wife Kartari. The pair, who […]...
33. The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
34. Значение идиомы go on [go on] {v.} 1a. To continue; not stop. After he was hit by theball, Billy quit pitching and went home, but the game went on. TheTV picture began to jump, and it went on like that until Father turneda knob. I asked Jane a question but she went on reading and didn’tanswer. Mother told Jim […]...
35. Пословица / поговорка children should be seen and not heard – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: children should be seen and not heard Перевод: детей должно быть видно, но не слышно Пример: The woman believed that children should be seen and not heard. And her children were always very quiet. Эта женщина считала, что детей должно быть видно, но не слышно. И ее дети всегда были очень тихими....
36. You want children Are You Ready for Children? Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego’s. (If […]...
37. A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moooo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, “Bud.”...
38. Значение идиомы in hopes [in hopes] {adj. phr.} Hopeful; hoping. The Mayor was in hopesof having a good day for the parade. Mother was in hopes that thecake would be good to eat....
39. Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off. He loved to jerk off. However, one day, his dad walked in on him while he was jerkin off! Billy was so embarrassed. He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him. “Billy,” said his dad, “doing that will make […]...
40. Little girl walks into the bathroom A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks “What’s that?” Her sister replies “That is my possum, sis!” The young girl replies “Oh, OK” The next day she sees her mother get out of the […]...