Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry

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1. Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick’s looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, “well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I’ve just found out that he actually died in the auschwitz concentration camp.” Patrick says, “that’s terrible, did he go to the […]...
2. Trapped within a bog Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O’Reilly wandered by. “Help!” Paddy shouted, “Oi’m sinkin’!” Don’t worry,” assured Mick. “Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi’m the strongest man in Erin, and Oi’ll pull ye right out o’ there.” Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy’s hand and pulled and pulled […]...
3. Humor about Irish Pubs (Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. “Jazus Mick…Well have to turn […]...
4. While enjoying a drink with a mate one night While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into […]...
5. An old man is sitting on the park bench crying An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what’s the problem?” The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, “I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment […]...
6. Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one of them says, “I went to my parents wedding last week and we all got rat-arsed.” Being quick on the uptake the second one says, ” […]...
7. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I […]...
8. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
9. Humor about the Irish An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, […]...
10. Jokes about St. Patrick’s Day Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that” It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride […]...
11. Значение идиомы pass away [pass away] {v.} 1. To slip by; go by; pass. We had so much funthat the weekend passed away before we realized it. Forty yearshad passed away since they had met. 2. To cease to exist; end;disappear; vanish When automobiles became popular, the use of thehorse and buggy passed away. 3. To have your life […]...
12. A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, “If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?” “Hell no!” the guy said. The stranger then asked, “If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used […]...
13. Small World Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man […]...
14. Значение идиомы come to pass [come to pass] {v. phr.}, {literary} To happen; occur. Strange things come to pass in troubled times. It came to pass that the jailer visited him by night. His hopes of success did not come to pass. Compare: BRING TO PASS, COME ABOUT....
15. The Pope took a philosophy professor The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the […]...
16. Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he’d left his plane ticket on top of his dresser. He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife […]...
17. There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called “lady of the night”. She says, “For $300.00, I’ll do anything you want.” Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says: Ok. Paint my house, bitch!...
18. Значение идиомы borrow trouble [borrow trouble] {v. phr.} To worry for nothing about trouble that may not come; make trouble for yourself needlessly. Don’t borrow trouble by worrying about next year. It’s too far away. You are borrowing trouble if you try to tell John what to do. Compare: ASK FOR, CROSS ONE’S BRIDGES BEFORE ONE COMES TO THEM, […]...
19. Значение идиомы keep one’s eyes peeled [keep one’s eyes peeled] or [keep one’s eyes skinned] {v. phr.},{informal} To watch carefully; be always looking. The bird-watcherkept his eyes peeled for bluebirds. When the boys walked throughthe roads, they kept their eyes skinned for snakes. Compare: EYESOPEN, EYE OUT....
20. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, “I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a […]...
21. Count till fifty The teacher walked into the classroom to find words like “cunt” and “cock” scrawled all over the blackboard. “Children,” she said, addressing the classroom, “you are much too young to use vile language like that. Now we’re all going to close our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our eyes are closed, I […]...
22. A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. “Would you […]...
23. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 […]...
24. Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother’s room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, “I want a man, I want a man.” Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory […]...
25. Hair spray A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
26. THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, “I THINK I’LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKE A BATH.” SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHE HAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB. SHE […]...
27. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
28. Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks “What’s that mum? ” His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, “That’s where your dad accidentially hit me […]...
29. Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the fact that if they go for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, they will get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girl walking out of the ocean. She reaches into the top of […]...
30. Значение идиомы walk away with [walk away with] or [walk off with] {v.} 1. To take and go awaywith; take away; often: steal. When Father went to work, heaccidentally walked off with Mother’s umbrella. How can a thiefwalk off with a safe in broad daylight? 2. To take, get, or wineasily. Jim walked away with all the honors on Class […]...
31. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men […]...
32. Перевод идиомы at one sitting / in one sitting, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at one sitting / in one sitting Перевод: за один раз, в один присест Пример: We finished the food at one sitting. Мы все съели в один присест....
33. The Christmas diet song ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. […]...
34. A blond at a party was telling her friend A blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. “They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator” “So, what when the batteries run out?” asked her friend “I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.”...
35. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says “Son do you remember that session I arranged for you […]...
36. Значение идиомы eye [eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY […]...
37. One day a housewife was going about the usual business One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and started to masturbate. She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband walked in, she […]...
38. Гарри Поттер/ Harry Potter На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Harry Potter Гарри Поттер Since the year Harry Potter was introduced to the world, he has become one of the most popular characters in the history of literature. He is adored by everyone I know: children, adults and even some elderly people. This orphaned boy has to live […]...
39. Перевод слова mate Mate – помощник, приятель, товарищ Перевод слова I say, mate! – послушай, приятель! machinist’s mate – помощник машиниста cook’s mate – помощник кока What’s the time, Mate? Который час, приятель? I told my Mates some of these facts on returning. По возвращении я рассказал моим приятелям о некоторых из этих фактов. The first Mate was […]...
40. Characteristics of an Ideal Mate I’ve been trying To set up my good friend, Rachid, with one of my single girlfriends, but I still wasn’t too sure what his Type would be. Tamara: So, tell me what you’re looking for in a woman. Rachid: She has to be Rich and Hot! Tamara: Come on! Be serious. Rachid: Okay, okay, but […]...