Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement

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1. Seeing Old FriendsThis is Turning out to be a month for seeing Old friends. I got an email a couple of weeks ago from an old friend from Graduate School. She and her family are visiting L. A. for a week. They plan to see family and to visit old friends. Since she moved out of the ... Читать далее...
2. Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’sJust after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’s penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the penis as far as she could and sped away ... Читать далее...
3. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy manA lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, «There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.» «No problem,» ... Читать далее...
4. Two friends met after a long time, and chatted aboutTwo friends met after a long time, and chatted about what??s been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked «How is she in bed?» First guy replies «She??s fantastic, she sucks ... Читать далее...
5. Ne day, this man, Tony, diedOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could ... Читать далее...
6. Two old friends from the mountains ran into each otherTwo old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, «Heard ya went to the big city Jeb.» His friend replied, «Yep. Even tried me out one of those ‘loose women’ ya always hear about.» «You don’t say.» said the first man. «Bet that was costly.» «Nope.» Jeb smirked. ... Читать далее...
7. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
8. The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerieThe modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, «If you can read this you’re too damn close» embroidered on her panties and bra. «Yes Madame,» said the clerk. «I’m quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?» «Braille,» she replied....
9. As US tourists in IsraelAs US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. «America,» the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы make friends[make friends] {v. phr.} To become friends; form a friendship. Mrs. Jones invited Bobby to her home to play with Don. She hoped thatthey would make friends with each other. You can make friends withan elephant by giving him peanuts....
11. Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penisLorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car travelling in the opposite direction. «Shit,» said the driver to his passenger. «What kind ... Читать далее...
12. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one askedDown in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, «Do you ever get to feeling horny?» «Yes,» her friend replied. «What do you do about it?» «I usually suck on a Lifesaver.» After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, «Well, what beach do you go to?»...
13. Значение идиомы friends with[friends with] Friendly to; a friend of. Alice found severalgirls to be friends with on the first day of school. At first Ididn’t like John, but now I am friends with him....
14. English Competitions — Конкурсы по английскому языкуEnglish competitions in general give a great opportunity for learners to improve their writing, speaking, reading translation skills, creativity, to develop the interest in the research field. The competitions are usually interesting and attract those who are really interested in English learning, learners like to show what they know and what they have learned. As ... Читать далее...
15. Little MermaidThree fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?» She replied, «no sir!» So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, «Did you like that?» «Oh, indeed I did, ... Читать далее...
16. English hornQ: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What’s the name of a good English horn player? A: I’ll tell you when I meet one. Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb? ... Читать далее...
17. My Friends — Мои друзья (1)I have a lot of friends, but the best friend of mine is Irina. She has blue eyes, a round face, fair hair and a broad smile. She is short and slim. I have known her for a long time, since our first school years. But we became true friends four years ago. We have ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова EnglishEnglish — английский, английский язык Перевод слова Spoken English — разговорный английский broken English — ломаный английский not English — не по-английски the whole field of English history — вся английская история English is spoken here. Здесь говорят по-английски. His English was perfect. Он безупречно говорил по-английски. Her English is idiomatic. Она говорит по-английски практически ... Читать далее...
19. The golf courseA man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, «I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you ... Читать далее...
20. Don’t learn English — Не учи английскийBad advice for school children. Warning! This article can damage your mind. The world is crazy about English! English is everywhere from morning till night! It’s like madness: you have to learn it even if you don’t want. You can’t escape it! English is so quick that other languages are not able to compete. It ... Читать далее...
21. Greatest way to learn EnglishMullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit. «Do you have anything to declare?» asked the customs inspector. «No — sssssst, bzzz — nothing at all.» «How long do you plan to stay?» «Oh, about — ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz — about three weeks.» «By the way, where did you learn English?» «From the ... Читать далее...
22. There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redheadThere are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim to a nearby island. After being there ... Читать далее...
23. Зачем я изучаю английский язык/ For what do I learn English?На английском языке Перевод на русский язык For what do I learn English? Зачем я изучаю английский язык My name is Ekaterina. I’m thirteen years old. I’ve been studying English since I was eight. Nobody made me, it was my decision. Now I know English pretty well. I have a lot of friends from different ... Читать далее...
24. Friends Don’t Let Friends Walk Through Revolving Doors AloneWhat it says about your friendship when you find yourself squished into a revolving-door with a companion. «Great works are often born on the street-corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door,» said Albert Camus, and a recent study shows that he was on to something. The revolving door is not just the accidental setting for ... Читать далее...
25. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open tableA man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, «Do all the waiters ... Читать далее...
26. English and me — Английский и яEnglish belongs to the Teutonic or Germanic branch of the Indo-European family of the languages. It is only in the course of the last hundred years that English has become a world language. In Shakespeare’s time it was a provincial language of secondary importance with only 6 million native speakers. Nowadays English has become the ... Читать далее...
27. Trust thy friendThe sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. «Was it my friend Sam», he demanded. «No!» his weeping wife replied. «Was it my friend Jim then?» he asked. «NO!!!» she said ... Читать далее...
28. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
29. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his studentsA college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, «Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.» She replied, «What other ... Читать далее...
30. Two friends were out drinkingTwo friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. «One thing about Jim,» his buddy said to the bartender, «he knows when to stop.»...
31. My Friends — Мои друзья (2)As we live in society, we meet a lot of people during our lives. We communicate with all these people, but our attitudes towards each of these people are different. Usually I classify people I know as acquaintances, friends and close friends. I’m going to tell you about the best friends of mine. They are ... Читать далее...
32. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversaryA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, «When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?» The husband replied, «All I wanted to do ... Читать далее...
33. An English teacherAn English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: «woman without her man is nothing». The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: «Woman, without her man, is nothing.» The women wrote: «Woman! Without her, man is nothing.»...
34. English Has no Equals — Английский не имеет равныхOn the 5th of September 1977, the American spacecraft Voyager One blasted off on its historic mission to Jupiter and beyond. On board the scientists who knew that Voyager would one day spin through distant star systems had installed a recorded greeting from the people of the planet Earth. A brief message in fifty-five different ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы get ahead[get ahead] {v.} 1. {informal} To become successful. Mr. Brownwas a good lawyer and soon began to get ahead. The person with agood education finds it easier to get ahead. 2. To be able to savemoney; get out of debt. In a few more years he will be able to getahead. After Father pays all ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы Pidgin English[Pidgin English] {n. phr.} A jargon that consists of somemispronounced English words and some foreign words used by Orientalsin talking with Westerners. You can conduct a lot of business inPidgin English in the Far East....
37. There was this boy in high school that was what you would callThere was this boy in high school that was what you would consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said «Dad look what I made.» So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of soil and instantly grass ... Читать далее...
38. Do you speak EnglishШпрэхэн зэ дойч?. Do you speak English? Вы говорите по-английски? German? По немецки? French? По-французски? Spanish? По-испански? Russian? По-русски? Can you speak Japanese? Вы можете говорить по-японски? Chinese? По-китайски? Hindi? На хинди? Just a little. Немного. A little. Чуть-чуть. I only know few words. Я знаю лишь несколько слов. I don’t speak English. Я не ... Читать далее...
39. English languageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова silenceSilence — молчание, тишина; заставить замолчать Перевод слова Dead silence — мертвая тишина to break the silence — нарушить тишину to silence a speaker — заставить оратора замолчать to silence a crying child — успокоить плачущего ребенка We waited in Silence. Мы молча ждали. A scream broke the Silence. Крик нарушил тишину. His Silence implied ... Читать далее...