Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago

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1. Breakfast was my idea It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his […]...
2. A milk bath When the milkman found a note on one of his customer’s doors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart, he rang the bell. “Sorry to bother you, ma’am,” he said, “but are you sure you want sixteen gallons of milk today?” “Oh, yes,” said the lady of the house. “I’m going to take […]...
3. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along […]...
4. Confuse Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask […]...
5. Business trip – Командировка Business trips are just part of doing business. A company tries to choose only its best people to represent it. Trips can happen in or out of the country. And there are as many reasons to go on a business as there are places to go: to sign contracts, to discuss terms of delivery, payment […]...
6. Preparing for a Business Trip I’m going to a Conference this weekend Back in my home state of Minnesota. I am going there to Address a Convention full of Librarians, Believe it or not. For me, the worst part of going On the road For business is not the traveling; it’s all the preparation you have to do. I created […]...
7. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Командировка (Business Trip)” По-английски Перевод на русский Greta: How was your business trip, Liam? Грета: Как прошла твоя командировка, Лайам? Liam: It was great! I did everything that was planned and I still had some time for sightseeing. Лайам: Отлично! Я сделал все, что планировал и у меня все еще осталось время на поход по достопримечательностям. Greta: Wait, […]...
8. Rooms in a House I don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, […]...
9. The Feline Diet Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people – such as getting lots of table scraps – most […]...
10. Chicago Jokes A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary […]...
11. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
12. Перевод слова breakfast Breakfast – завтрак Перевод слова Full breakfast – полноценный завтрак hurried breakfast – завтрак на бегу nutritious breakfast – питательный завтрак I had pancakes for Breakfast. Я ел блинчики на завтрак. We Breakfast at seven. Мы завтракаем в семь. I had toast for Breakfast. На завтрак у меня был поджаренный хлеб....
13. The Diet BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie MID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the package of Oreo cookies 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread 1 large pepperoni & […]...
14. A business man got on an elevator in a building A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F” (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T” (letters only).” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, […]...
15. On preparing to return home from an out of town trip On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy onboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About […]...
16. The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
17. New Minnesota Vikings stadium construction cost more than NASA’s trip to Pluto The cost to construct NFL stadiums has reached an astronomical level – literally. Pat Kessler of CBS Minnesota recently pointed out a mind-blowing fact: The construction of the Minnesota Vikings’ new stadium is a more costly project than the space probe NASA sent to Pluto. The Vikings’ new home, recently christened U. S. Bank Stadium, […]...
18. The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
19. Chicago – Чикаго There is a huge city in the northeastern part of the USA near Lake Michigan. In America, there are many large cities, but I would like to tell about Chicago. Chicago is the third-largest city in the United States and one of the country’s leading industrial, commercial, financial and transport centres. It extends some 47 […]...
20. Значение идиомы leave word with [leave word with] {v. phr.} To leave a message. Hank left wordwith his secretary where he could be reached by phone while he wasaway from his office....
21. Перевод слова squeeze Squeeze – сжатие, теснота; сжимать, сдавливать Перевод слова It was a tight squeeze – было очень тесно to squeeze one’s finger – прищемить палец to squeeze an orange – выжимать сок из апельсина He Squeezed my hand. Он крепко пожал мне руку. We Squeezed through the crowd. Мы протиснулись сквозь толпу. Squeeze a bit of […]...
22. My Breakfast В топике Мой завтрак я расскажу, что обычно ем на завтрак. Я считаю, что завтрак очень важен, так как он заряжает энергией на весь день. Я предпочитаю на завтрак кашу или мюсли, или яйца, приготовленные разными способами. Батончики “Сникерс” или “Марс” можно съесть на бегу, если опаздываешь и не успел позавтракать. It is not a […]...
23. Значение идиомы leave behind [leave behind] {v. phr.} 1. Abandon. Refugees on the run mustsometimes leave old and sick people behind. 2. To forget; go awaywithout. We had reached our car when we noticed that we had leftour keys behind....
24. Farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole Farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar. Chris looked so down and dejected, that John just had to go up and say something to him. “Say, Chris, how ya doing? How’s the tractor selling […]...
25. A Family Road Trip Our family decided to take a Road trip across the country this year. The kids were really excited and my oldest son wanted to help Navigate. Before the trip, we looked at the Road maps and decided on our Route and the Points of interest we would try to see. Since we wouldn’t be taking […]...
26. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
27. A chinese detective A man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later he received this letter. Most Honorable Sir, You leave house, He come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb […]...
28. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
29. Packing Clothes for a Trip Nick: Aren’t you done Packing yet? We need to leave for the airport in 15 minutes. Mariah: I’m almost done. I just need to finish packing my Garment bag. Nick: You’re bringing a garment bag? What for? Mariah: For my dresses, of course. I don’t want them to get Wrinkles in them. I have a […]...
30. One day a housewife was going about the usual business One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and started to masturbate. She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband walked in, she […]...
31. My trip to England Imagine waking up one day in a country that you`ve never been to and know no one there. It is an incredible experience, and something that people will remember forever. Before visiting the country we have some stereotypes about the life there, which are broken after the trip. And England isn`t an exception. People think […]...
32. Значение идиомы go about one’s business [go about one’s business] {v. phr.} To mind one’s own affairs. Fred kept bothering me with his questions all day, so I finally toldhim to go about his business and leave me alone....
33. A Trip to the Library I read in the Local paper that a new public library had just opened two weeks ago in my neighborhood. I wanted to Check it out. But first, I called the library to check the Hours of operation. The Librarian told me that they were open Monday through Saturday from 10 to 6 so I […]...
34. Interesting facts If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room When you hear the toilet flush […]...
35. Перевод идиомы none of someone’s business / nobody’s business, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: none of someone’s business / nobody’s business Перевод: дело, которое никого не касается, которое никого не должно волновать Пример: My personal financial situation is none of my friend’s business. Моя ситуация в финансовом плане не должна волновать моего друга....
36. A Camping Trip My friends and I decided to take a trip to Yosemite National Park To do some Camping and Hiking. We all like the Outdoors, but we all live in the city. We have all been Griping about Feeling cooped up so we decided to take a Road trip. This trip would give all of us […]...
37. Footless Parrot A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he’s lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised […]...
38. Beware of IRS The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the […]...
39. The newly married man came home from work The newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. “Guess what I got planned for dinner?” she asked seductively. “And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.”...
40. Getting Ready to Go I guess I’m just like everybody else. I Could do withouT Mondays. On the weekend, I can Kick back and relax, but I Dread going back to work when the weekend is over. This morning was particularly Hectic. On Weeknights, I set my Alarm for 7 a. m. That’s what I did last night. But, […]...