The astronomy jokes
NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn’t accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover’s built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text “press any key to continue”. It
African roulette
A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built
Marriage quotes 13
The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx The marriage of
Bassoon
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bassoon recital. Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe? A: The bassoon burns longer. Q: What is a
Phone songs
All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321
A necessary condition
There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds,
A pregnant woman is about to give birth
A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby
Matering checking
Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account. “The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store,” she said. “Oh good,” he said,
What is the difference between a English actuary and
What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their
The Hillary’s room
President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary’s room. She complains that it’s the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President–I’ll remove the mirrors right away.