Collection 03
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation
Three guys were sitting in a bar talking
Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is
My car
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to
Top 15 Household Pet Dishes
15> Angelfish Cake 14> Hamster and Cheese on Rye 13> Chow Chow Mein 12> Bran Muffy 11> Eggs BenjiDict 10> Yorkieshire pudding 9> Shih-Tzu Kabobs 8> Potbelly Pig in a Blanket 7> Shrimp Cockatiel
Thrown out of the lab
Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen
Forgot to pedal
I admitted to my friend that I hadn’t had sex for a while. My friend reassured me that I won’t forget it, cuz sex is like riding a bicycle. I know it’s been a
The wall clock
One day a wife complained, “This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch.” The husband grunted and replied, “The darn clock always was
Sister Ann, arent you putting on a little weight?
“Sister Ann, aren’t you putting on a little weight?” inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. “Why, no Father,” answered the nun demurely, “It’s just a little
Evaluating employees
RE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.” “His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”
How Smart Are You?
How Smart Are You? —————— 20 Correct – Genius 17 Correct – Above Normal 15 Correct – Normal 8 Correct – Nincompoop 6 Correct – Moron 3 Correct – Idiot QUESTIONS 1. Do they