A push
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in...
Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She...
How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse
Q: How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess? A: A nurse says: “This won’t hurt a bit.” A schoolteacher says,...
A young girl is with her dad at the barbers
A young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating some candy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hair on the floor. “Oh dear, have...
Irish marriage jokes
Paddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink. He said, “If you continue drinking as you do, you’ll gradually...
The Cop Quiz
By -=ShoEboX=- (This article originally appeared in Putsch Electronic Magazine.) Are you ready to be pulled over? Are you prepared to hand over your license and registration in the middle...
There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs
There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up....
Who’s got my pen?
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to ‘write’ with it. Realizing his mistake,...
What is intelligence
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is...
Deadly disease
“My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis,” mumbles an angry biker to one of his buddies. “No,” says the friend, “people don’t die of syphilis anymore.” The angry...
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the...
Investigating a Terrible Accident
There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further...
Fun fun fun worry worry worry
A teacher said to her little student Suzy, “Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry.” Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, “Let’s see....
This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal
This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room...
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals...
Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit
Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher,...
So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building
So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him,...
Amusing Humor about the Irish
O’Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to...
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, “I did...
Think quality
A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also...