In the midst of a veritable downpour

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1. A little boy and his dad are standing in line A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, “hey dad, look how fat that lady is!” “Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.” “But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!” “Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!” […]...
2. Перевод слова soak Soak – впитываться, пропитывать Перевод слова Soak insulation with bitumen – пропитать изоляцию битумом soak bread in milk – мочить хлеб в молоке to soak through the skin – промочить насквозь He Soaked himself in the subject. Он погрузился в эту тему. The rice has Soaked up all the water. Рис впитал всю воду. I […]...
3. Who’s got a bigger crotch? There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch. The first women said, “My husband can get his whole hand up me”. The second lady said, “My husband can get his whole head up me”. The third lady slid down the bar stool....
4. Communication problem There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. […]...
5. How odd? The prim old lady was given the first glass of beer she ever had. After sipping it for a moment she looked up with a puzzled air. “How odd!” she murmured. “It tastes just like the medicine my husband has been taking for the last twenty years.”...
6. Перевод слова skin Skin – кожа, шкура Перевод слова Skin incision – кожный разрез stripped to the skin – раздетый донага cony skin – кроличья шкурка She has soft Skin. У нее нежная кожа. My Skin burns easily. Я быстро обгораю на солнце. If you were in my Skin… Побывай ты в моей шкуре…...
7. Man and wife at the zoo It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one […]...
8. Groundhog Day “I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for […]...
9. A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says “OK,, just grip it like you do your husband’s member”. After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line. The instructor […]...
10. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
11. Purchasing a New Bird After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on […]...
12. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
13. Перевод слова quiet Quiet – тихий, бесшумный, спокойный, мирный Перевод слова Quiet wind – тихий ветер quiet footsteps – бесшумные шаги quiet sleep – безмятежный сон quiet conscience – чистая совесть Please be Quiet! Потише, пожалуйста! We were enjoying the Quiet of the forest. Мы наслаждались тишиной леса. He led a Quiet life. Он вел тихую жизнь....
14. Card games A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why had she left her previous employment, she replied, “Yes, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. Last night they played a game called Bridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about […]...
15. The Plumber has arrived A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s […]...
16. A woman comes home A woman comes home from the doctor and tells her husband the bad news that she has only 18 hours to live. “That’s terrible!!!” said her husband, “What would you like to do during your last hours? I’ll try to make it as memorable as possible for you.” “Well,” she said, “First, I want to […]...
17. An infamous stud with a long list of conquests An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. “I’m scared out of my mind,” the stud replied. “Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he’d kill me if I didn’t stop […]...
18. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
19. Значение идиомы skin [skin] See: BY THE SKIN OF ONE’S TEETH, GET UNDER ONE’S SKIN, JUMPOUT OF ONE’S SKIN, KEEP ONE’S EYES PEELED or KEEP ONE’S EYES SKINNED, SAVE ONE’S NECK or SAVE ONE’S SKIN, WITH A WHOLE SKIN or IN A WHOLESKIN....
20. Значение идиомы with a whole skin [with a whole skin] also [in a whole skin] {adv. phr.} With noinjury; unhurt; safely. The boy was lucky to escape with a wholeskin when the car went off the road. Jack came through the gamewith a whole skin. The horse threw him off, but he got away in awhole skin. Syn.: SAFE AND SOUND....
21. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
22. One of my first evenings back from overseas One of my first evenings back from overseas, my girl’s understanding parents left us alone in the living room. Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the doorway. “If you will be a good girl and go […]...
23. What day is today Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a. m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of […]...
24. Mrs. Jones is having her house painted Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, “You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?” He sighs and says, “Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work ahead of me. […]...
25. Перевод слова wake Wake – просыпаться, будить, пробуждать Перевод слова Wake up there! – эй вы там, проснитесь! to wake memories – пробудить воспоминания his conscience woke – в нем проснулась совесть to wake up in a bla mood – проснуться в плохом настроении Please Wake me at 6 AM. Пожалуйста, разбудите меня в 6 утра. His superiority […]...
26. Democrats on the front porch This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, “Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.” “What?” the operator exclaimed. “I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; […]...
27. Перевод слова husband Husband – муж Перевод слова Ex-husband, former husband – бывший муж henpecked husband – подкаблучник to leave one’s husband – оставить мужа My Husband doesn’t cook Мой муж не готовит. She lied to her Husband. Она солгала мужу. She cheats on her Husband. Она изменяет своему мужу....
28. Значение идиомы skin off one’s nose [skin off one’s nose] {n. phr.}, {slang} Matter of interest, concern, or trouble to you. Normally used in the negative. Go toJake’s party if you wish. It’s no skin off my nose. Grace didn’tpay any attention to our argument. It wasn’t any skin off her nose. You could at least say hello to our visitor. […]...
29. Devil herself A fellow’s wife was very worried about her husband’s heavy drinking and one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the […]...
30. A great way to spend eternity A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. “How awful!” exclaimed the wife. “Si, but what a great way to […]...
31. Obamacare The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello?” “Mrs. Sanders, please.” “Speaking.” “Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your […]...
32. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
33. The young immigrant couple had just left the The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. “It is wonderful,” the husband exclaimed. “We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?” “Yes, you male chauvinist pig,” his wife replied. “Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on […]...
34. Having the equipment A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up real early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar […]...
35. Pray hard A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, […]...
36. There was an old married couple that had happily There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she […]...
37. Значение идиомы get under one’s skin [get under one’s skin] {v. phr.} To bother; upset. The studentsget under Mary’s skin by talking about her freckles. Children whotalk too much in class get under the teacher’s skin....
38. Перевод слова lady Lady – леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady – знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! – женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady – соблазнительная женщина your good lady – ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t […]...
39. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
40. Значение идиомы in the wake of [in the wake of] {prep.}, {literary} As a result of; right after;following. Many troubles follow in the wake of war. There wereheavy losses of property in the wake of the flood....