God created woman, and she had 3 breasts

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1. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: “I don’t want to complain, but I think those […]...
2. Appearance: The Arms and Hands – Внешность: руки The arms and hands of our prehistoric ancestors were probably not very different from the human arm and hand today. The upper and lower joints of the arm, elbow and wrist, were probably very similar, and the basic structure of the hand with its five fingers was also the same. But according to some scientists, […]...
3. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m […]...
4. A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m […]...
5. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, […]...
6. An American woman and an Iranian woman An American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket. The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, “These remind me of my husband’s testicles.” The American woman says, “That big?” The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.”...
7. Two men and one woman Long, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 […]...
8. Перевод слова fingers Fingers – пальцы Перевод слова Dexterous fingers – ловкие пальцы to count on one’s fingers – считать на пальцах to snap one’s fingers – щелкать пальцами He snapped his Fingers. Он щелкнул пальцами. We ate with our Fingers. Мы ели руками. His Fingers turned to thumbs. Его пальцы одеревенели. Происхождение слова fingers Множественное число для […]...
9. A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Brown died’.” Confounded at the woman’s thrift, […]...
10. Woman is on a bus A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and […]...
11. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
12. A woman visits her physician A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: “Well, what can I do for you madam?”. The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: “You can discuss any matter with […]...
13. Перевод слова breast Breast – грудь Перевод слова A child at the breast – грудной ребенок breast feathers – грудное оперение breast of chicken – куриная грудка The male has a white Breast. У самцов грудка белая. She put the baby to her Breast. Она приложила младенца к груди. Do you prefer a Breast or a leg? Вы […]...
14. A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. […]...
15. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
16. Значение идиомы cross one’s fingers [cross one’s fingers] {v. phr.} 1a. To cross two fingers of one hand for good luck. Mary crossed her fingers during the race so that Tom would win. 1b. or [keep one’s fingers crossed] {informal} To wish for good luck. Keep your fingers crossed while I take the test. 2. To cross two fingers of […]...
17. A woman walks into a tattoo parlour A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?’ ‘Why of course!’ ‘Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.’ ‘No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down […]...
18. Перевод слова useless Useless – бесполезный, тщетный, непригодный Перевод слова Useless attempts – тщетные попытки protest is useless – протест бесполезен a useless gadget – негодные приспособления a useless person – никчемный человек It’s Useless to try to convince her. Бесполезно пытаться ее убедить. It was Useless to complain. Жаловаться было бесполезно. The splendid yet Useless imagery. Прекрасная, […]...
19. Перевод слова woman Woman – женщина Перевод слова A woman with history – женщина с прошлым a woman of great insight – необыкновенно проницательная женщина likely young woman – привлекательная молодая женщина man born of woman – смертный The mugger assaulted the Woman. Грабитель напал на женщину. She is a very determined Woman. Она очень решительная женщина. She […]...
20. Перевод сленгового выражения boob, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: boob Перевод: болван, тупица; глупый человек Пример: He is such a boob, he is impossible to talk to. Он такой болван, с ним невозможно разговаривать....
21. A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: “What are you doing here today?” Woman: “Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me $5 for it.” Man: “Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.” The woman looked thoughtful for […]...
22. Значение идиомы snap one’s fingers at [snap one’s fingers at] {v. phr.} To show contempt for; show norespect for; pay no attention to; scorn; disregard. John snappedhis fingers at the sign that said “Do not enter,” and he went in thedoor. The highway sign said “Speed limit, 35 miles per hour,” butwhen a driver snapped his fingers at it by going […]...
23. A tall woman met a midget at a party A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. “I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,” said the woman, “especially with the size […]...
24. A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. “don’t worry, ya,” he said. “I’ll pack some more trays and have them […]...
25. A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder. Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder…I’ll sleep with you.” Guy says: “An alligator?” Woman says: “Close enough”...
26. A guy steps into an elevator and A guy steps into an elevator and there’s just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you’ll be able to forgive me.” […]...
27. A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. […]...
28. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with […]...
29. One night, an 87-year-old woman One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to […]...
30. The woman’s secret At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.” “I don’t know about that,” huffily answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.” “You’ll let it out some day,” the […]...
31. An old man and an old woman were sitting An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,”You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked.” The woman said, “Why don’t we try that again?” So they stripped and sat down at the table again. […]...
32. A woman selling apples in New York A woman selling apples in New York is puzzled by a man who always comes by, pays a quarter, but never picks up an apple. This goes on for some time until, one day, the woman runs after the man as he walks away. ‘I know why you are chasing after me… you want to […]...
33. A man and a woman are sitting next to each other A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. “My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said. “What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she […]...
34. Soft and Hard A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, […]...
35. A woman walks into her accountant’s office and A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks […]...
36. How Thomas Jefferson Created His Own Bible Thanks to an extensive restoration process, the public can now see how Jefferson created his own version of the Scripture Thomas Jefferson, together with several of his fellow founding fathers, was influenced by the principles of deism, a construct that envisioned a supreme being as a sort of watchmaker who had created the world but […]...
37. In the midst of a veritable downpour In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and couldn’t bear passing her by. He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, “There, little lady, that’s done!” “Quiet,” she ordered him. “You’ll wake up my […]...
38. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
39. Перевод идиомы make a clean breast of (something), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: make a clean breast of (something) Перевод: признаться в чем-либо содеянном, признать свою вину Пример: The woman made a clean breast of things and tried to start over. Женщина во всем призналась, и решила начать все сначала. The man went to the police and made a clean breast of his crime. Мужчина пришел в […]...
40. Значение идиомы hand in hand [hand in hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Holding hands. Bob and Mary walkedalong hand in hand in the park. Compare: ARM IN ARM. 2. Accompanyingeach other; together; closely connected. – Used with “go”. Ignorance and poverty often go hand in hand. Selfishness andunhappiness often go hand in hand....