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1. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells,... ...
2. An American tourist is visiting China An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: “How large is the population here?” “Around... ...
3. Перевод слова trunk Trunk – ствол, магистральный, главный Перевод слова Trunk line – магистральная железнодорожная линия trunk connector – междугородный линейный искатель crooked trunk – искривленный ствол high-usage trunk – загруженный канал связи... ...
4. ZHow offensive is that? How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him.... ...
5. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does... ...
6. A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour... ...
7. Getting a Flat Tire Jaloliddin: What is that Thumping noise? Minisa: I don’t hear anything. Jaloliddin: I think you have a Flat tire. Minisa: The left Rear tire has a slow Leak, but I... ...
8. Types of Luggage Driver: Ma’am, where would you like these suitcases? Leona: The three Wheeled suitcases should go next to the bed, and the Garment bag should be Hung up In the closet.... ...
9. Перевод слова tourist Tourist – турист Перевод слова Tourist-class passenger – пассажир туристического класса tourist season – туристический сезон tourist visa – туристическая виза The museums attract a lot of Tourists. Музеи привлекают... ...
10. What is your name Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”... ...
11. Six people were on a plane Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and... ...
12. A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The border official look s over his shoulder, and sees... ...
13. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat... ...
14. A helping hand Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front... ...
15. A tourist from the United States of America A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of... ...
16. A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is... ...
17. Two guys go hunting Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by... ...
18. Safe to swim here While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old... ...
19. Democrats on the front porch This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, “Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and... ...
20. A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is... ...
21. Canada language How you can spot a Canadian, eh? – Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers) How do you tell a Canadian from an American? It used to be enough to... ...
22. Getting Travel Documents Joyce: We need to apply for our Passports now if we want to have them In time for our trip to McQuillanland. Steven: I have a passport. Joyce: Yes, but... ...
23. Значение идиомы canned laughter [canned laughter] {n.}, {informal} The sounds of laughter heard on certain television programs that were obviously not recorded in front of a live audience and are played for the benefit... ...
24. Talking to a Mechanic Mechanic: Hi, I’m the Mechanic. What can I do for you? Amy: My car is making a very weird noise. It sounds like this: gulug, gulug, gulug… Mechanic: Hm, that... ...
25. A small dissapointment Two GI’s in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit. “I can’t go in here” he says” It’s really going... ...
26. Talking About Sound and Volume Delilah: Could you Turn that down? Josh: What? Delilah: Could you turn your music down? Josh: Oh, sure. Is there a problem? Delilah: No, there’s no problem. I was just... ...
27. Cow on Train Tracks A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow... ...
28. Touring South America A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the... ...
29. Перевод слова front Front – перед, передняя часть Перевод слова Look to your front – смотри вперед the table of contents is in the front of the book – оглавление находится в начале... ...
30. A Purple Heart A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old spinsters at the... ...
31. A customer walks into a restaurant and notices A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his waitress arrives, he orders... ...
32. Persistency Act A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on... ...
33. Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat... ...
34. Incredible golf ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have... ...
35. Wife-taming method Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after... ...
36. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes... ...
37. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of... ...
38. A really bad, terrible mistake Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated.” Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are,... ...
39. Grave music A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He... ...
40. Looking for a monkey wrench An old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the... ...