Why I Fired My Secretary
I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, “I’m another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I
An elderly couple, living apart
An elderly couple, living apart, had been dating for several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy, “We should stop this nonsense. We are paying two rents, two car insurance payments, buying separate food
Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when
Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around = the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi. Father Flannery watches this event unfold, and as he runs toward
A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks
A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest
Stupid people awards 02
The 2000 Darwin awards! (15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl
The Cesium song 10
Cesium (All through the Night) (Tune, Fever) (1) Never know how much I need you, Never know how much I’d dare, When I mix you up with water, I get a heat that’s hard
John receives a phone call
John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers. The voice on the ot other end says, “This is Susan. We met a party about 3 months ago.” John: “Hmm… Susan? about 3 months ago?”
A reason for divorce
“Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?” the solicitor questioned his client. “Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?” “Oh, no,” replied Mrs. O’Connor. “Shure now, we have a carport.” The
Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo
Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.”
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses “I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.” and Moses says “Yeah sure.”