Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting
Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, “What did you do on Earth?” Man #1: I was a doctor. St. P.: Go
Baby bear wants to live somewhere else
The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to
A failed attempt
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, Mommy?” “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they’re done, he said, “I’m afraid my Finnish isn’t too good.”
Doing the Dishes
A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the
Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks
Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about
Two men were walking through the woods when
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out
NEW ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE
Element: WOMAN Symbol: Wo Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less) Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?”
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.