Definition of Programmer
Programmer: A person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions
Is this her first?
A guy calls the hospital. He says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” He says, “No! This is her husband!”
The Preacher buys a Parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot. “Are you sure it doesn’t scream, yell, or swear?” asked the preacher. “Oh absolutely. It’s a religious parrot,” the storekeeper assures him. “Do you see those strings on
CHECK THE BUFFETT!
In a Texas bar, The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the regulars. So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them “whip ’em out”.Fred pulls a
Bass
Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change
A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day
A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. “Nothing,” said the woman. Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously,
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asks, “Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?” The coroner says, “No.” The attorney then asks, “Did you listen
The world’s greatest hypnotist is on stage
The world’s greatest hypnotist is on stage in front of hundreds of people swinging a long chain with a watch on the end. He’s saying, “You’re all in my power…you’re all in my power..”
A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor
A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field
Bending it further
The old man was saying to his doctor, “You know, Doc, when I was young, it was as hard as a rock. As I got a little older, I could bend it a little