Homework
One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, “We’re learning about sexual education.” She smiled, and said, “At least he’s learning something usefull.” Billy
An old occupation
What happens when people of different occupations get old. – Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. – Old actors never die, they just drop apart. – Old archers never die, they
Burger conversations
M. I. T.: “I had a nervous breakdown this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Caltech: “I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Yale: “I got mugged on the way to class today.”
Some professions
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used
Last Request
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the
After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute
After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. “Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.” “Twenty
In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton
In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: “All the President’s Women.”
Reasons to stay at work all night
1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”. 3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going
Anti-shoplifting strips
I just pulled one on somebody – I slipped some of those anti – shoplifting strips into the lining of the victim’s favorite jacket. I was set to pull another one, but didn’t get
A Blind Mans Sport
A Blind Mans Sport A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door