A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy

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1. A well dressed businessman got into a Manhattan cab A well dressed businessman got into a Manhattan cab and asked to be taken to LaGuardia. While stuck in the traffic jam, the businessman leaned forward and said, “How’s your spirit of adventure?” “What do you mean?” “Well, I have to be in Chicago for a meeting, but the thought of flying there just bores […]...
2. This businessman was walking down the sidewalk This businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed the door shut taking off. Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman […]...
3. Перевод слова overhead Overhead – накладные расходы; наверху, над головой Перевод слова The stars overhead – звезды над головой overhead throw – бросок через голову overhead expense – накладные расходы Lightning flashed Overhead. Молнии сверкали над головой. The stars came out in the blue Overhead. На небе появились звезды. She stowed the luggage away in the Overhead compartment. […]...
4. Перевод слова luggage Luggage – багаж Перевод слова Cumbersome luggage – громоздкий багаж hand luggage – ручная кладь unbooked luggage – незарегистрированный багаж Please see after the Luggage. Будьте добры, присмотрите за багажом. I’ll carry your Luggage to your room. Я принесу ваш багаж в номер. My Luggage was overweight by five kilos. Мой багаж превысил допустимый вес […]...
5. A businessman boards a flight 66.A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American […]...
6. Using Electronics on Airplanes Flight attendant: I’m sorry, sir, but all passengers need to turn off their Portable electronic devices for Takeoff, so you’ll need to turn off your Laptop. Alec: I just need to finish one last email. Flight attendant: Sir, we can’t take off until you turn that computer off. Alec: Fine. It’s off. Why all the […]...
7. Getting In-Flight Service I pushed the Call button to get the attention of the Flight attendant. Flight attendant: Yes? What can I do for you? Hal: It’s very cold in the Cabin. Is it possible to get a Blanket? Flight attendant: We’re out of blankets, but here’s a Pillow. Hal: Okay, thanks. I was asleep during the Meal […]...
8. I Want to be a Businessman – Я хочу быть бизнесменом My father is working for an international company as a managing director. I have been several times at his office. I like it very much to be there. My father is very busy. He often comes late from work. But I can see that he likes his job. And he always finds the time to […]...
9. Перевод слова partner Partner – партнер, соучастник, супруг Перевод слова Dancing partner – партнер по танцам bad partner – сожитель; сожительница a partner in crime – соучастник преступления nominal partner – номинальный член товарищества Assign each student a Partner. Назначьте каждому студенту напарника. Him and me, we Partnered once. Однажды мы с ним имели дело. Set to your […]...
10. Murphy’s Travel Laws Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed. […]...
11. Jokes about the Stupid Irish A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, “Fill it up, will you?”. The man says “Sorry – we’re right out of petrol.” So the man considers, and […]...
12. Life Science Final Exam The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can’t […]...
13. The crusty old managing partner finally passed away The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his law firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. “I’m sorry, he’s dead,” was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. […]...
14. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied […]...
15. Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”...
16. Anti-shoplifting strips I just pulled one on somebody – I slipped some of those anti – shoplifting strips into the lining of the victim’s favorite jacket. I was set to pull another one, but didn’t get the chance – to cut out a silhouette of a gun from metal and hide it in a piece of carry-on […]...
17. An easy solution On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue […]...
18. Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf”, says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time […]...
19. BMW thinks of everything On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the […]...
20. The Fisherman One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the […]...
21. Get some of this Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get’s her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: “This is too good to pass up,” gets off his […]...
22. The price is right A successful businessman flew to Vegas for a weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip air ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of […]...
23. Значение идиомы overhead [overhead] {n.} Expenses incurred in the upkeep of one’s plant andpremises, employees’ salaries, etc., which are not due to the cost ofindividual items or products. “Our overhead is killing us!” theused car lot owner complained. “We have to move to a cheaper place.”...
24. Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. “I’m sorry, sister,” said the attendant, “but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. […]...
25. Fidel dies and goes to heaven Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself […]...
26. Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, “Wow! This is the very best sex I had in […]...
27. Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It’s her turn to guess the word. Voice Over: And the password is. . . black dick! Nancy: Um. . . is it a place? Her partner: No. Nancy: Is it a person? Her partner: No. Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it […]...
28. Tough job A fellow getting a shave asked the barber if he had another razor. “Why?” asked the barber, “Is there something wrong with this one?” “I don’t know.” replied the customer. “But I would appreciate a chance to defend myself.”...
29. Tough sell Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. “I certainly don’t want to frighten you into a decision,” he announced, standing up to leave… “Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think.”...
30. A tough dilemma Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” …To which […]...
31. Why English is tough Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. […]...
32. Значение идиомы pull the wool over one’s eyes [pull the wool over one’s eyes] {v. phr.}, {informal} To foolsomeone into thinking well of you; deceive. The businessman hadpulled the wool over his partner’s eyes about their financialposition. Bob tried to pull the wool over his teacher’s eyes, butshe was too smart for him....
33. A tough case was being argued in court A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. “The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!” “I don’t think so,” his attorney told him. “I sent it in […]...
34. Перевод слова airplane Airplane – самолет, аэроплан Перевод слова Airplane ambulance – санитарный самолет airplane luggage – чемоданы, сумки для авиапутешествий airplane is airborne – самолет находится в воздухе The Airplane landed to refuel. Самолет приземлился для дозаправки. An Airplane droned overhead. Самолет гудел над головой. Происхождение слова airplane Образовано от двух слов:...
35. New son-in-law A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every […]...
36. Storing Luggage on an Airplane Yoshi: Can you hold my jacket while I try to get my Roller bag down the Aisle? Tatiana: All right, but I have to roll my own bag down the aisle, you know. Yoshi: Fine, give it back to me. All of these Overhead bins are full. Where are we supposed To store them? Tatiana: […]...
37. Find out about the cat The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in […]...
38. Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead. “Damn,” he says. “I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.” His partner replies ” What are you worried about? We’re both here.”...
39. Аэропорт и самолет на английском Landing – посадка landing gear – шасси lavatory – туалет life vest – спасательный жилет liquid – жидкость luggage, baggage – багаж luggage carrier – тележка (для багажа) luggage tags / labels – бирки на багаже luggage ticket – багажная квитанция metal detector – металлоискатель middle seat – среднее сидение no smoking sign – сигнал […]...
40. Problems during flight The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight […]...