It was obvious
After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought: This fellow doesn’t look like a peasant, and if he isn’t a peasant he probably comes from this district. If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish district. On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going? I’m the only Jew in our district who has permission to travel to Moscow. Ahh? But just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and Jews don’t need special permission to go there. But why would he be going to Samvet? He’s probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? Only two – the Bernsteins and the Steinbergs. The Bernsteins are a terrible family,
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- Перевод слова peasant Peasant – крестьянин Перевод слова Peasant woman – крестьянка peasant revolt – крестьянский бунт peasant population – крестьянское население He sprang from Peasant stock. Он крестьянского происхождения. The Peasant soon glided hopelessly into debt. Крестьянин вскоре безнадежно влез в долги. Most villagers are Peasant farmers. Большинство жителей – крестьяне, фермеры....
- Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. “Bartender,” he says, “give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.” When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her […]...
- Chaim escapes from a mental hospital Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, “Are you Jewish?” The man says, “No.” Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, “You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?” The man replies, “No!” […]...
- Перевод слова permission Permission – разрешение, позволение Перевод слова To accord permission – дать разрешение to be accorded permission – получить разрешение without the author’s permission – без разрешения автора With your Permission, I should like to visit Mrs Thorne myself. С вашего позволения, я хотел бы навестить миссис Торн сам. Who gave you Permission to stay out […]...
- An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...
- A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women […]...
- A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. “Why not?” said I. “Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all […]...
- Business is business A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?” A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the […]...
- Перевод слова obvious Obvious – очевидный, явный, заметный Перевод слова Obvious advantage – очевидное преимущество his embarrassment was obvious – он явно смутился for an obvious reason – по вполне понятной причине It’s Obvious that he is drunk. Ясно, что он пьян. There is no Obvious solution to the problem. Не существует ясного решения этой проблемы. Her disappointment […]...
- Значение идиомы red-light district [red-light district] {n. phr.} A district of brothels or whereprostitutes hang out. Most unwisely, the young sailor decided tospend his leave on shore by haunting the red-light districts of theport of call....
- Перевод слова district District – район, область, округ Перевод слова Police district – полицейский участок federal district – федеральный округ mountainous district – гористая местность This bus line serves a large District. Эта автобусная линия обслуживает большой район. A District was built up with new blocks of flats. Район был застроен новыми домами. The District affords minerals. В […]...
- Birth Order and Sibling Rivalries Nancy: Isn’t this a great time of year? Families get together over the holidays. Yasmani: Maybe it’s nice for some families, but I Dread my family Get-togethers. Nancy: How come? Yasmani: I have a big family and there has always been a lot of Sibling rivalry. Nancy: I’m sure that was true when you were […]...
- A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. “I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and […]...
- This black guy is walking along a beach when This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a […]...
- A young peasant girl of fourteen A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna […]...
- Перевод слова nice Nice – хороший, милый, приятный, вкусный Перевод слова Nice time – славное время nice person – приятный человек nice shot – точный выстрел It looks real Nice. Это выглядит действительно хорошо. He’s a helluva Nice guy. Он чертовски симпатичный парень The baby’s Nice and plump. Ребенок миленький и пухлый....
- A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.” […]...
- Poor Rabbi! A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so […]...
- The young playboy took a blind date to an The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I wanna be weighed,” she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “One-twelve,” said […]...
- The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I wanna be weighed,” she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. “One-twelve,” said […]...
- Suggesting a Nightcap Brittany: [Slurring her speech] I had a really nice time. Tri: I’m glad to hear it. It was nice of Marie To set us up. Brittany: Yeah, she told me that you would be my Soul mate, and she was right! You’re Dreamy… Tri: Uh…well, thanks. It was really nice meeting you, but I’d better […]...
- Moscow (6) Moscow is the capital of Russia. It is one of the biggest and most beautiful cities in the world. Moscow is a modern city now. The population of the city is about 9.8 million people. Moscow is a political centre, where the government of our country works. Moscow was founded in 1147 by Yuri Dolgoruky. […]...
- Pets in Great Britain В топике Домашние животные в Великобритании рассказывается, насколько сильно англичане привязаны к своим домашним животным: собакам, кошкам и попугайчикам. Англичанин никогда не скажет про животное “оно”, а только “он” или “она”. Насколько уважительно британцы относятся к животным, говорит и знаменитое выражение: “Моя собака и я”, т. е. животное – всегда на первом месте. Lots of […]...
- Moscow (8) Moscow was first mentioned in the records dated back to the year 1147. Thus, Prince Yuri Dolgoruky founded it more than eight centuries ago. Historians have accepted the year 1147 as the start of Moscow’s history. As for me, all the people who have come to Moscow should see the Kremlin and Red Square. The […]...
- Moscow (3) Moscow is the capital of Russia. It is the seat of the highest bodies of state authority. Moscow was founded in 1147 by Yuri Dolgoruky. In the 15th century Moscow became the capital of Russian state. With the transfer of Russia’s capital to St. Petersburg in 1712, it became the country’s second capital. In 1918 […]...
- Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a new pistol. On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each […]...
- What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill you.” A Jewish mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill myself.”...
- All the same An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: “I don’t like Chinese.” The First Officer replies: “Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why […]...
- Moscow (2) Moscow is the capital of Russia. It was not always the capital. In ancient times the capitals of Russ were also Kiev and Novgorod. Later Peter the Great built Saint-Petersburg, it became the new Russian capital. In the XX century during the Civil war the first Soviet government moved to Moscow. Moscow is one of […]...
- A theological debate Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the […]...
- Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?” Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says “No, I don’t think […]...
- Buying a Jacket or Coat Michael: Mom, I don’t need a new coat. I like my old Trench coat. It’s comfortable, and I can use it as a Raincoat and an Overcoat. So what do I need a new coat for? Lisa: If you’re going to visit your aunt in Maine, you’ll need something warmer than a trench coat. This […]...
- Jewish fly A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink….he notices that at the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has ever seen….he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must have her….He leans over to the bartender and asks if the bartender has any Spanish-fly in […]...
- Buying a Jacket or Coat Michael: Mom, I don’t need a new coat. I like my old Trench coat. It’s comfortable, and I can use it as a Raincoat and an Overcoat. So what do I need a new coat for? Lisa: If you’re going to visit your aunt in Maine, you’ll need something warmer than a trench coat. This […]...
- Перевод слова young Young – молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man – здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow – молодой человек young idea – свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы […]...
- Types of Families Patricia: Okay, we’re nearly done setting up for the neighborhood party. I got some Nametags with “father,” “mother,” and “kids” printed on them, with a space for people to write their names. It’ll be easier for people to introduce themselves and make friends. Ed: The nametags are a good idea, but we have to keep […]...
- The first engineer calls out to the other The first engineer calls out to the other, “Hey–Nice bike! Where did you get it?” “Well,” replies the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says ‘you can have ANYTHING you want!'” “Good […]...
- The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants – one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, “Jim […]...
- An unfortunate situation A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to a wealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying. As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant! Don’t get excited. The father […]...
- Moscow (9) One of the world’s greatest cities, Moscow (Moskva) is the capital of Russia. Since it was first mentioned in chronicles of 1147, Moscow has played a vital role in Russian history; indeed, the history of the city and of the Russian nation are closely interlinked. Today Moscow is not only the political centre of Russia […]...