If she went out with me

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1. Having a Best FriendLucy: I’m so excited! My friend, Marlene, is coming to town for a visit. Buddy: Have I met Marlene? Lucy: No, I don’t think so. We Grew up together and we were always Joined at the hip. Buddy: When I was little, I had a friend like that. We were Blood brothers. Lucy: Yeah, Marlene ... Читать далее...
2. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
3. A guy was trying to console a friendA guy was trying to console a friend who’d just found his wife in bed with another man. «Get over it, buddy,» he said. «It’s not the end of the world.» «It’s all right for you to say,» answered his buddy. «But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed ... Читать далее...
4. Two Texan are sitting in a small town barTwo Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: «You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister.» «Well,» his buddy replied, «between you and me we got ’em all.»...
5. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
6. The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woodsThe duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he’d noticed that the club professional had been watching. «What club should ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы crow before one is out of the woods[crow before one is out of the woods] {v. phr.} To be glad or brag before you are safe from danger or trouble. — Usually used in negative sentences, often as a proverb, «Don’t crow before you are out of the woods.» John thought his team would win because the game was almost over, but ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова smellSmell — обоняние, запах; нюхать, пахнуть Перевод слова Fine sense of smell — тонкое обоняние, тонкий нюх sweet smell — аромат, благоухание what a smell! — какая вонь! the dog smelt at my shoes — собака обнюхала мои башмаки to smell of paint — пахнуть краской Dogs have a very good sense of Smell. У ... Читать далее...
9. Catch a drunk driverTwo rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said «Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!» «Don’t worry, Bubba,» Earl said. «We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод сленгового выражения jock, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: jock Перевод: спортсмен, в особенности мужского пола; обычно используется, чтобы описать кого-либо, кому хорошо даются физические упражнения, но не даются умственные Пример: Kenny is a real jock — he plays football, baseball, basketball and hockey! Кенни — настоящий спортсмен, он играет в футбол, бейсбол, баскетбол и хоккей....
11. Значение идиомы take to the woods[take to the woods] {v. phr.}, {informal} To run away and hide. When John saw the girls coming, he took to the woods. Bob took tothe woods so he would not have to mow the grass. Compare: HEAD FORTHE HILLS....
12. Perfectly good eyesightTwo really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, «My eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?». The second guy says, «Sure! I see ... Читать далее...
13. This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeousThis bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, «You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?» The flattered ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы break-up[break-up] {n.} The end of a relationship, personal or commercial. The break-up finally occurred when Smith and Brown decided to sue each other for embezzlement....
15. Перевод идиомы out of the woods, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: out of the woods Идиома: out of the woods разг. Перевод: выйти из трудной ситуации, из затруднительного положения Пример: It is true that the economy is getting stronger, but we are not out of the woods yet. Экономика, действительно, улучшается, но трудности еще не закончились....
16. Значение идиомы neck of the woods[neck of the woods] {n. phr.}, {informal} Part of the country;place; neighborhood; vicinity. We visited Illinois and Iowa lastsummer; in that neck of the woods the corn really grows tall. Wewere down in your neck of the woods last week....
17. Play doctorSteve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. «Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an hour?» «Sounds great,» Steve replied, «but how do you make it last for an hour?» «Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for ... Читать далее...
18. Marriage Proposal Part III had been Stressing out about it for a couple of weeks. How do I ask my girlfriend to marry me? We were getting some dinner at a Fast food restaurant before going to the movies. Fiona: Tell me the truth. What’s up with you lately? Doug: Me? Nothing. Why do you ask? Fiona: You ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы ferret out[ferret out] {literary} or [smell out] or [sniff out] {v.} To huntor drive from hiding; to bring out into the open; search for and find. John ferreted out the answer to the question in the library. Jane smelled out the boys’ secret hiding place in the woods....
20. Перевод слова localLocal — местный, локальный Перевод слова Local bus — местный автобус local call — местный звонок local dialect — местный диалект local jurisdiction — местная юрисдикция, внутренняя юрисдикция We had dinner at a Local restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. The shop sells Local crafts. Магазин торгует ремесленными изделиями местного производства. He writes for the ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод идиомы on the cutting edge / at the cutting edge, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: on the cutting edge / at the cutting edge Перевод: на самом высшем уровне; на современном, новейшем уровне Пример: This technology is right on the cutting edge. It’s so new, it’s not available to the public yet. Эта технология находится на самом современном уровне. Она настолько новая, что еще не доступна широкой публике....
22. Good businessDr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine. After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed. «Fifteen dollars, ... Читать далее...
23. You know you are in a small townYou know you’re in a small town….. — when you don’t use turn signals because everybody knows where you’re going. — if you’re born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants because you’re the first baby of the year. — if you speak to each dog you pass, by name….. ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы good buddy[good buddy] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s hand radio jargon}Salutation used by truckers and automobile drivers who have CB radios. What’s the Smokey situation, good buddy?...
25. Mount Disappointment in AustraliaMount Disappointment is an 800-metre (2,600 ft) mountain, located on the southern end of the Great Dividing Range, 9.5 kilometres (5.9 mi) north of Whittlesea, 60 kilometres (37 mi) north of Melbourne, the state capital of Victoria, Australia. It was named by explorers Hamilton Hume and William Hovell in 1824, and the mountain is now ... Читать далее...
26. Once some boys got together to play pokerOnce some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn’t know how ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы smell up[smell up] {v.}, {informal} To make a bad smell. A skunk smelledup our yard last night. Mr. Brodsky’s cigar smelled up the livingroom....
28. Talking About WealthAnton: Look at that guy. He’s been in town two weeks and he’s already Throwing his money around. Vanessa: You know as well as I do that Money talks. He’s just trying To make a splash in the business community. Anton: If that were all he was doing then I wouldn’t say anything, but he’s ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы babe in the woods[babe in the woods] {n. phr.} A person who is inexperienced or innocent in certain things. He is a good driver, but as a mechanich is just a babe in the woods. Compare: OVER ONE’S HEAD, BEYOND ONE’S DEPTH....
30. Gas-tank jokeThis practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and ... Читать далее...
31. AshamedTwo men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her ... Читать далее...
32. An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenlyAn Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff. The Avon lady asked, «Do you smell something?» «Why, yes, I do,» he replied. «What ... Читать далее...
33. Final wishIn a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, he went to the town’s undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) ... Читать далее...
34. A golfer hit his drive on the first holeA golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы smell a rat[smell a rat] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be suspicious; feel thatsomething is wrong. Every time Tom visits me, one of my ashtraysdisappears. I’m beginning to smell a rat. When the policeman saw alight go on in the store at midnight, he smelled a rat....
36. A little town had a high birth rate thatA little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод идиомы cutting edge, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cutting edge Перевод: новейший, передовой; в тренде Пример: This set is the cutting edge — the best on the market. Этот телевизор — самый передовой, он лучший, что есть в продаже....
38. It was a somber day in Disney landIt was a somber day in Disney land, Mickey And Minnie were in divorce court.. The judge was about to make his decision he said ‘Im sorry mickey, I cant grant you a divorce based on your statement that Minnie has prominant teeth» Mickey retorted » I DIDNT SAY SHE had prominent teeth, I SAID ... Читать далее...
39. A man says to his wifeA man says to his wife, «Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.» Wife says, «I dont want to go.» Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, «It tastes like sh*t. Man says, ... Читать далее...
40. Health Insurance PlansAt my company, I have a choice of health insurance plans. We can pick between HMOs and PPOs, and I have been with the same Managed health plan for the past few years. It’s the plan that has the lowest Co-pays and the best Coverage, and the network of doctors is fairly large. The Drug ... Читать далее...