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1. How all careers end How careers end… Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are distilled. Alpine climbers are dismounted. Piano tuners are unstrung. Orchestra leaders are disbanded. Artists’ models are deposed. Cooks are deranged. Dressmakers are unbiased. Nudists are redressed. Office clerks are defiled. Mediums are dispirited. Programmers are decoded. […]...
2. How to hunt elephants – Lawyers style How to hunt elephants – Lawyer’s style Lawyers don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex...
3. Sweden Blood Bank Texts Donors To Notify Them Whenever Their Blood Helps Save A Life Though technology may seem like a lifeline for many people today, for Sweden’s blood bank, it is exactly that. Sweden’s blood service notifies donors via text message whenever their blood is used, The Independent reports. The initiative aims to raise awareness for the need for blood donation, which has recently been on the decline. “We […]...
4. Топик “Закупка компонентов” (Buying Components) Buying components The representatives of my company saw displayed ball bearings at the international exhibition in Frankfurt. Our company required such bearings and we sent an enquiry to the manufacturer. After the manufacturer has received our letter an engineer of their company called us and came to St. Petersburg. They offered the guarantee period of […]...
5. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?...
6. Johann Sebastian Bach Johann Sebastian Bach was one of the greatest composers in Western musical history. More than 1,000 of his compositions survive. He came from a family of musicians. There were over 53 musicians in his family over a period of 300 years. Johann Sebastian Bach was born in Eisenach, Germany in 1685. His father was a […]...
7. Перевод слова organ Organ – орган, учреждение, часть тела Перевод слова Reproductive organs – органы размножения governmental organs – правительственные органы mouth organ – губная гармоника He just knew the bell of the church from the Organ. Он мог разве что отличить церковный колокол от органа. No one can play the Organ during service time without the consent […]...
8. Перевод слова software Software – программное обеспечение Перевод слова Friendly software – “дружественное” программное обеспечение software packing – комплект программного обеспечения software compatibility – программная совместимость The Software was developed in-house. Программное обеспечение было разработано внутри фирмы. The Software is due to ship next month. Ожидается, что эта программа поступит в продажу в следующем месяце. Microsoft dominates the […]...
9. Перевод слова musical Musical – музыкальный, мелодичный Перевод слова Musical genius – гениальный музыкант musical voice – мелодичный голос musical acoustics – музыкальная акустика Mozart was a Musical prodigy. Моцарт был музыкальным вундеркином. Musical ability runs in my family. В нашей семье ярко выражены музыкальные способности. His work seemed to many a new Musical idiom. Многим казалось, что […]...
10. Writing a Letter of Inquiry I was Laid off from my job three months ago. Since then, I’ve been Pounding the pavement looking for another job. So far, nothing has Turned up, so I decided To take the bull by the horns and deliver Inquiry letters to every company that might have a Job opening. … Dear Ms. Smith (or […]...
11. Organ Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse? A: They are always longing for another stop. Q: Why are a organist’s fingers like lightning? A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice. Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat miner. Q: What do […]...
12. Перевод слова eventually Eventually – в конце концов, со временем Перевод слова He will eventually be the gainer by it – в конечном счете он только выиграет от этого he will do it eventually – в конце концов он это сделает, он сделает это рано или поздно He Eventually died of drink. В конце концов он умер от […]...
13. Lawyers as lab rats The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch. 1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little […]...
14. Lawyers arrive in Japan Source: Sunday Daily Breeze Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically […]...
15. Buying your ticket Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all […]...
16. Donating an Organ Christine: What is this Sticker on your Driver’s license? Saul: This sticker? It Indicates that I’ve signed up for the Organ donation program. If anything bad happens to me, I want my organs to go to Recipients who need them. Christine: You mean you want somebody else to have your Heart, Liver… Saul: …eyes, Kidneys, […]...
17. Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
18. An old occupation What happens when people of different occupations get old. – Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. – Old actors never die, they just drop apart. – Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver. – Old architects never die, they just lose their structures. – Old bankers never die, they just […]...
19. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been […]...
20. Software Development Process 1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team 2) Announce availability 3) Write the code 4) Write the manual 5) Hire a Product Manager 6) Spec the software (writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the software meets the specifications) 7) Ship 8) Test (the customers are a big help here) 9) […]...
21. History of lawyers Why God Created Lawyers Satan was complaining bitterly to God, “You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship […]...
22. I often feel guilty Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a […]...
23. Jumping Through EULA Hoops “Unconscionable” is a legal term used to void contracts that are unfair to one party because of the other party’s superior bargaining power. By my reading, that makes end-user license agreements (EULAs) unenforceable. Ten years ago, when I was working at a different technology magazine, I wrote a column about the growing power of end […]...
24. What day is today Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a. m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of […]...
25. Software Engineering Glossary of Product Terminology Glossary Terms -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Software Engineering Glossary of Product Terminology NEW: Different colors from previous version. ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version. UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition. ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn’t understand it. NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix. BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try. DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on […]...
26. Значение идиомы deliver the goods [deliver the goods] {v. phr.} 1. To carry things and give them to the person who wants them. Lee delivered the goods to the right house. 2. {slang} To succeed in doing well what is expected. The new pitcher delivered the goods by striking out 20 men in his first game. This personal computer surely […]...
27. Значение идиомы signed, sealed, and delivered [signed, sealed, and delivered] {adj. phr.} Finished; completed; ina state of completion. “How is the campus renovation plan for thegovernor’s office coming along?” the dean of the college asked.”Signed, sealed, and delivered,” his assistant answered. Compare: CUTAND DRIED; HOOK, LINE AND SINKER....
28. Значение идиомы bring [bring] or [wheel in] or [out] or [up the big guns] {v. phr.} To make use of a concealed plan in order to defeat an opponent in an argument or in a game, debate, or competition. The new computer software company decided to bring out the big guns to get ahead of the competition....
29. Перевод слова company Company – компания, общество Перевод слова Dance company – танцевальный ансамбль daughter company – дочерняя компания very dubious company – очень подозрительная компания Yonder Company are fools. В той компании такие дураки. Three is a Company. Трое в самый раз. Троих достаточно. Most glad of your Company. Мне так приятно быть в вашем обществе....
30. The South Takes a Cue from Oakland Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California and Massachusetts. “Ebonics,” a neologism created by combining “Ebony” and “phonics,” is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass. Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called “Bubbonics!” Created from mixing “Bubba” and “phonics,” […]...
31. Значение идиомы rake in [rake in] {v. phr.} To realize great profits; take in money. Because of the heavy snowfall, ski lodge operators in the RockyMountains have been raking in the dough this winter season....
32. Brazilian Man’s Plan to Bury His Bentley Proves To Be An Ingenious Publicity Stunt A wealthy Brazilian businessman stirred a wave of negative reactions when he announced on his Facebook page that he plans to bury his beloved Bentley Continental Flying Spur. Chiquinho Scarpa, 62, said he would bury his £310,000 (€367,220) Bentley so that he would be able to drive it in the afterlife. He explained that he […]...
33. Значение идиомы musical chairs [musical chairs] {n. phr.} The transfer of a number of officers in an organization intodifferent jobs, especially each other’s jobs. The boss regularlyplayed musical chairs with department heads to keep them fresh on thejob....
34. Перевод идиомы know a thing or two (about someone or something), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: know a thing or two (about someone or something) Идиома: know a thing or two (about someone or something) разг. Перевод: знать толк в чем-либо, знать все о ком-либо или о чем-либо Пример: My father works in a software development company and knows a thing or two about computers. Мой отец работает в софтверной […]...
35. Edible Six-Pack Rings Feed, Rather Than Strangle, Wildlife Plastic six-pack rings are the bane of conservationists – images of sea birds and turtles entangled in them serve as constant reminders that consumer culture and the environment don’t get along. But thanks to an innovation from a Florida-based brewery, we can feel a little better about enjoying a six-pack. Saltwater Brewery has partnered with […]...
36. The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.” He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. […]...
37. Millennia Year Application Software System This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which […]...
38. An elderly patient needed a heart transplant An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd […]...
39. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. “Your organ,” she […]...
40. Describing Brisk and Slow Business Clint: Anya! Long time no see. Let me buy you a drink. I’m celebrating. Anya: Oh, yeah? What’s the good news? Clint: My company has had a Banner month. Since we Launched our new Line of software, we’re having trouble Keeping up with demand. Every product is Flying off the shelves. Anya: Wow, that’s great […]...