Motivations

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1. Two men are discussing their lives Two men are discussing their lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear.” The other one says, “I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.”...
2. Freudian Slip Woman walks into her psychiatrists office and says: “Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about freudian slips? Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my mother, and I meant to say, “please pass the salt,” but instead I said, “You god damn bitch, you ruined […]...
3. Перевод слова laundry Laundry – прачечная, белье для/из стирки Перевод слова Laundry soap – хозяйственное мыло laundry soda – стиральная сода to send linen to the laundry – отдать белье в прачечную to iron the laundry – гладить, утюжить белье I sorted the Laundry. Я рассортировал белье для стирки. His mother was hanging wet Laundry to dry. Его […]...
4. This young lady, a flighty young thing This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare […]...
5. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
6. A miserable rooster A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes […]...
7. Washing Clothes Mina: What happened here? Is the Washing machine not working? Arlo: What do you mean? Mina: Why are all of your white T-shirts now pink? Arlo: That just happens. Sometimes they turn pink, gray, or another color, depending on which clothes I put in a Load. Mina: Didn’t anyone teach you how to do Laundry? […]...
8. Marrying and divorcing in Heaven It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to get married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union. […]...
9. Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
10. A guy was driving home one evening A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was “now or never”, he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and […]...
11. One day a housewife was going about the usual business One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and started to masturbate. She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband walked in, she […]...
12. One day an older fella was in for a checkup One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. “Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!” “Did I say I was 64?” “Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?” “Damn […]...
13. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
14. A man was riding in the back of his limousine A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked the man. “I don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “Oh, please come […]...
15. Dealing With a Contagious Disease Isabelle: You can’t walk through that door with all of your clothes on! Linus: What?! I’ve just come off of a 12-hour flight. I’m tired and I want to get into my own house and into my own bed. Isabelle: I know, but you’ve just returned from McQuillanland and I’ve just read that anyone who […]...
16. On their first night to be together On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. […]...
17. An 18th-century vagabond in England An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: “George and the Dragon.” He knocked. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window. “Could ye spare some victuals?” The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. “No!” she shouted. “Could I have a pint of ale?” […]...
18. This rich couple were going out for the evening This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn’t having a good time at the […]...
19. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women […]...
20. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to […]...
21. Irish Laughs Casey married a rich widow, but they didn’t get along. One day she said to him, “If it wasn’t for my money, that new television wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, that grand piano wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, this house wouldn’t be here.” Casey mumbled, “If it […]...
22. Dog washing A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Nope, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog!” […]...
23. Nothing but the truth A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8.00 p. m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to […]...
24. Finding the right answers Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question to ask and that he shouldn’t ask it again. He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she wouldn’t answer the question and that he shouldn’t […]...
25. Значение идиомы keep house [keep house ] {v. phr.} To do the necessary things in ahousehold; do the cooking and cleaning. Since their mother died, Mary and her brother keep house for their father....
26. Collection 09 ClassYou must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. In the next life, you’ll blaze a way for us. You are master in your own house – the doghouse! When you die, I’d like […]...
27. Перевод слова tired Tired – усталый, утомленный, исчерпанный Перевод слова Tired face – утомленное лицо a tired joke – избитый анекдот tired apple – сморщенное яблоко old, tired dress – старое, изношенное платье She was Tired and sleepy. Она очень устала, и ей очень хотелось спать. I’m Tired. Let’s go home. Я устал. Давайте пойдем домой. I was […]...
28. The talking dog A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. “This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have him for five dollars.” The neighbour said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.” Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. “Please […]...
29. Marriage Anonymous With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called “Marriage Anonymous.” Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it....
30. Dictionary of Musical Terms JAZZ : Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes. BLUES : Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning. WORLD MUSIC : A dozen different types of percussion all going at once. OPERA : People singing when they should be talking. RAP : People talking when they should be singing. CLASSICAL […]...
31. Популярные утверждения на английском I agree. – Я согласен. I don’t care. – Мне все равно. I don’t know. – Я не знаю. I don’t like it. – Мне это не нравится. I don’t mind. – Я не против. I don’t understand. – Я не понимаю. I don’t want it. – Я не хочу это. I hate you. – […]...
32. Перевод слова married Married – женатый, брачный Перевод слова Married man – женатый человек married name – фамилия по мужу married couple – супружеская пара So, how do you like Married life? Так, как тебе супружеская жизнь? She Married an Evans. Она вышла замуж за одного из Эвансов. I was Married to my job. Я был женат на […]...
33. Rooms in a House I don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, […]...
34. Перевод слова clothes Clothes – одежда, платье, белье Перевод слова Workday clothes – будничное платье suit of clothes – мужской костюм informal clothes – обычная одежда My Clothes smelt of smoke. Моя одежда пропахла дымом. Are the Clothes dry yet? Одежда уже высохла? These Clothes don’t fit him. Этот костюм на нем не сидит....
35. Значение идиомы cut into [cut into] {v.} 1. To make less; reduce. The union made the company pay higher wages, which cut into the profits. The other houses got old and shabby, and that cut into the value of his house. At first Smith led in votes, but more votes came in and cut into his lead. 2. To […]...
36. Marriage quotes 09 Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage […]...
37. Значение идиомы eat one out of house and home [eat one out of house and home] {v. phr.} 1. To eat so much as tocause economic hardship. Our teenaged sons are so hungry all thetime that they may soon eat us out of house and home. 2. To overstayone’s welcome. We love Bob and Jane very much, but after two weekswe started to feel […]...
38. Значение идиомы thumb one’s nose [thumb one’s nose] {v. phr.} 1. To hold one’s open hand in front ofone’s face with one’s thumb pointed at one’s nose as a sign of scornor dislike. After Bob ran into the house he thumbed his nose at Tomthrough the window. 2. {informal} To look with disfavor or dislike;regard with scorn; refuse to obey. […]...
39. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors office A couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” And he then charged […]...
40. Перевод идиомы air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The dinner party became uncomfortable when the host began to air his colleague’s dirty […]...