I got a great Polish joke

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1. Перевод слова polish Polish – блеск, полировать, шлифовать Перевод слова To polish one’s nails – полировать ногти metal takes polish – металл приобретает блеск stone takes a polish – камень полируется to polish out scratches – затирать царапины I need more shoe Polish. Мне нужно больше лака для обуви. Polish up the silver ready for the important dinner. […]...
2. I trust you that you paid A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees […]...
3. Playing a Practical Joke Patricia: What are you doing? Luis: I’m setting up a Practical joke for Bobby. I Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he walks outside and finds his bike In pieces. It’ll be the best Prank ever! Patricia: You’re not really going to take apart his bike, are you? Luis: I’ll Let […]...
4. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
5. Перевод слова joke Joke – шутка, анекдот Перевод слова In joke – в шутку, шутя standing joke – неистощимый объект для шуток blue joke – пошлая шутка a corny joke – старая шутка, шутка “с бородой” It was only a Joke. Это была всего лишь шутка. The Joke was on him. Это он остался в дураках. She loves […]...
6. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
7. A visual joke (This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG […]...
8. Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. “Well, Doc,” he inquired anxiously, “is he going to make it?” “It’s tough,” said the doctor. “He’d […]...
9. Cow joke Another Cow joke I attribute to my ‘Ol chemestry prof was the placement of a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would be down. Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. […]...
10. Indians and Polish There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the […]...
11. Значение идиомы take a joke [take a joke] {v. phr.} Accept in good spirit some derisiondirected at oneself. My brother has a good sense of humor whenteasing others, but he cannot take a joke on himself....
12. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.” His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, […]...
13. Перевод идиомы able to take a joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: able to take a joke Перевод: уметь давать другим смеяться и шутить над собой; не обижаться на шутки других Пример: Our boss is not able to take a joke. We must be careful what we say to him. Наш начальник не понимает шуток. Нужно подбирать слова, когда разговариваешь с ним....
14. Перевод слова customer Customer – покупатель, клиент Перевод слова Customer service – служба работы с покупателями at customer’s discretion – на усмотрение заказчика potential customer – потенциальный клиент She is one of our best Customers. Она является одним из наших лучших клиентов. Poor Customer service has ruined the company’s reputation. Плохое обслуживание клиентов погубило репутацию компании. The Customer […]...
15. Перевод идиомы no joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: no joke Перевод: серьезное дело Пример: The mistake with the meeting time was no joke. It caused many of us very serious problems. Ошибка со временем проведения собрания была очень серьезной оплошностью. Она причинила много больших неприятностей всем нам....
16. Значение идиомы polish off [polish off] {v.}, {informal} 1. To defeat easily. The Dodgerspolished off the Yankees in four straight games in the 1963 WorldSeries. 2. To finish completely; finish doing quickly, often in orderto do something else. The boys were hungry and polished off a bigsteak. Mary polished off her homework early so that she couldwatch TV....
17. Перевод идиомы inside joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: inside joke Перевод: шутка, известная только ограниченному кругу лиц (внутри какой-либо компании, среди друзей, и т. п.) Пример: That must be an inside joke, because it’s not funny at all. Это, должно быть, какая-то местная шутка, потому что мне совсем не смешно....
18. A customer walks into a restaurant and notices A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant […]...
19. Training Salespeople Our company brought in a Consultant to do Sales training for our store. For some reason, we’d been getting some Complaints from customers. Consultant: My job in this training is to help your store improve its Customer satisfaction, so that it can attract and Retain more customers. When you Interact with customers, you Represent this […]...
20. Перевод идиомы polish the apple, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: polish the apple Перевод: льстить, подхалимничать (из этого выражения происходят также выражения Apple polishing – процесс лести и подхалимства, и Apple polisher – тот, кто льстит и подхалимничает) Пример: Nobody likes the girl because she is always polishing the apple with her teacher. Никому не нравится эта девочка, потому что она всегда подлизывается к […]...
21. Last Lunch Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.” The second […]...
22. Phone joke A few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and – such day, Illinois Bell would be “blowing the dust out of the phone lines” and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with […]...
23. Перевод слова tone Tone – тон, звук, атмосфера Перевод слова Heart tones – тоны сердца a tone of contempt – презрительный тон a school with a good, healthy tone – школа, где существует хорошая, здоровая атмосфера thin tone – высокий звук Pianos are Toned. Фортепиано настроены. His Tone was bland. Его тон был равнодушным. Their Tone was friendly. […]...
24. Значение идиомы polish the apple [polish the apple] {v. phr.}, {slang} To try to make someone likeyou; to try to win favor by flattery. Mary polished the apple atwork because she wanted a day off. Susan is the teacher’s petbecause she always polishes the apple. – [apple polisher] {n.},{slang} A person who is nice to the one in charge in […]...
25. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, “I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, “Well, I did worse […]...
26. A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering & swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is. “Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and […]...
27. Good fortune A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest […]...
28. Offending Someone I was telling my friend, Gina, a joke. I began it by saying, “An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Frenchman walk into this bar, and…” Suddenly, Gina Grabbed my arm and shook her head. I turned around and our coworker, Colin, was standing right behind me. Eileen: Oh, hi Colin. I didn’t see you standing […]...
29. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
30. Newly issued alcohol warnings The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a […]...
31. Фразовый глагол joke around – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: joke around Перевод: дурачиться, шутить или пытаться пошутить Пример: Mike is always joking around at work. Майк всегда шутит на работе....
32. Warning labels If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major […]...
33. Перевод идиомы crack a joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: crack a joke Перевод: рассказать шутку Пример: The man was a lot of fun at the party because he was always cracking jokes. Этот мужчина был очень забавен на вечере, потому что он все время рассказывал шутки....
34. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
35. Accepting Credit Cards Danny: Are you sure we should start accepting credit cards from our customers? We’ve always been a Cash-only business. Katy: I think we need to for the convenience of our customers. It won’t be as big a Nuisance as you think, with this new Cash register. Danny: The instructions say the Merchant has to swipe […]...
36. The first time in the gay bar A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers: “I can lick any man in the place!” The nearest customer looks him up and down, then says: “Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your first time in a gay bar?”...
37. A customer walks into a pharmacy A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he […]...
38. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
39. Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern. To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said “Mike, I’ll be havin’ three whiskeys.” Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. “Now, Timothy, it’s not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It’s celebratin’, you are. “Ahh, ye know me […]...
40. Значение идиомы as an aside [as an aside] {adv. phr.} Said as a remark in a low tone of voice; used in theaters where the actor turns toward the audience as if to “think out loud.” During the concert Tim said to his wife as an aside, “The conductor has no idea how to conduct Beethoven.”...