How to Hunt Elephants — VP Style

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1. How to Hunt Elephants — Math styleMathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate students. Sent by Alex...
2. How to Hunt Elephants — Comp Sci StyleComputer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A: 1. Go to Africa 2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope 3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately East and West. 4. During each traverse a. Catch each animal seen b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant c. Stop when a ... Читать далее...
3. How to Hunt Elephants — Sales StyleSalespeople don’t hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven’t caught, for delivery two days before the season opens. Software salespeople ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant. Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint them gray and sell them as «desktop elephants.» Sent by Alex...
4. How to hunt elephants — Lawyers styleHow to hunt elephants — Lawyer’s style Lawyers don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex...
5. Elephants IXEvery nation has to write a book about the Elephant: The French book — The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant The English book — Elephants I have shot on Safari The Welsh book — The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant ... Читать далее...
6. The best book on elephantsThe UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account «The Elephant and the British Empire.» The French submited a text «The Sensuality of the Elephant — a Personal Account.» The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled «An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of ... Читать далее...
7. Elephants IIIHow do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close. How ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова huntHunt — охота, преследование; охотиться, ловить Перевод слова Fox hunt — охота на лис the hunt is up — преследование началось to hunt for wolf — охотиться на волков The police are still Hunting the killer. Полиция все еще разыскивает убийцу Wolves Hunt in packs. Волки охотятся стаями. The kids were Hunting for shells on ... Читать далее...
9. Refrigerate elephantsAnalysis: 1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig. 2. Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant). 3. Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem. Number theory: 1. First factorize, second multiply. 2. Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in. Algebra: 1. Step 1. Show that the ... Читать далее...
10. Elephants found to understand human pointing without trainingA study by researchers from the University St Andrews has found that elephants are the only wild animals that can understand human pointing without being trained. In the study, published in Current Biology, the researchers show that a group of 11 captive Zimbabwean elephants, which were used to following vocal instructions but weren’t trained to ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы hunt and peck[hunt and peck] {n. phr.}, {informal} Picking out typewriter keysby sight, usually with one or two fingers; not memorizing the keys. Many newspaper reporters do their typing by hunt and peck. — Oftenused, with hyphens, as an adjective. Mr. Barr taught himself totype, and he uses the hunt-and-peck system....
12. How Shit HappensIn the Beginning was The Plan And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without form And the Plan was completely without substance And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers And the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying «It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.» And the Workers went unto ... Читать далее...
13. Elephants recognize the voices of their enemiesAfrican elephants can distinguish human languages, genders and ages associated with danger. Humans are among the very few animals that constitute a threat to elephants. Yet not all people are a danger — and elephants seem to know it. The giants have shown a remarkable ability to use sight and scent to distinguish between African ... Читать далее...
14. Tarzania IIWhat is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? «Look! A herd of plums in the distance» (Jane is colorblind)...
15. Значение идиомы hunt up[hunt up] {v.} To find or locate by search. When John was inChicago, he hunted up some old friends. The first thing Fred hadto do was to hunt up a hotel room....
16. Значение идиомы witch-hunt[witch-hunt] {n. phr.} A hysterical movement during which peopleare persecuted for having views considereddifferent or unpopular. During the McCarthy era many innocentAmericans were accused of being Communists, as Republican patriotismdeteriorated into a witch-hunt....
17. How to Catch a White ElephantHow to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Submitted By Niels Kristian Jensen Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the ... Читать далее...
18. TarzaniaWhat does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? «Look, a herd of elephants in the distance» What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in ... Читать далее...
19. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
20. Main Vice PresidentTom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, «Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!». «Really?» ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы run with the hare and hunt with the hounds[run with the hare and hunt with the hounds] {v. phr.} Toappear to support both parties in a conflict; to conduct things inambiguous ways. Critics accused the king of running with the hareand hunting with the hounds....
22. Значение идиомы hunt down[hunt down] {v.} 1. To pursue and capture; look hard for an animalor person until found and caught. The police hunted down theescaped prisoner. Compare: TRACK DOWN. 2. To search for until one finds it. Professor Jones hunted down the writtenmanuscript in the Library of Congress. Syn.: TRACK DOWN....
23. Перевод идиомы head hunt, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: head hunt Перевод: «охотиться за головами»; заниматься поиском высококвалифицированных специалистов, узконаправленных работников Пример: The headhunters are looking for good computer programmers. Охотники за головами ищут хороших программистов....
24. Nice, but roughAn elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach. A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak. «Oh, thank you!» said the elephant. «My, pleasure ma’am.» said the ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы backhanded compliment[backhanded compliment] {n. phr.} A remark that sounds like a compliment but is said sarcastically. «Not bad for a girl» the coach said, offering a backhanded compliment....
26. Перевод слова elephantElephant — слон Перевод слова Work elephant — рабочий слон he can’t hit an elephant — он и в слона-то не попадет an elephant in a china shop — неуклюжий и бестактный человек The passerby was trampled by an Elephant. Прохожего затоптал слон. They nearly equalled the Elephant in size. По размеру они почти сравнялись ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова ensureEnsure — гарантировать, обеспечить Перевод слова To ensure independence — обеспечить независимость to ensure an income — гарантировать доход we cannot ensure success — мы не можем ручаться за успех Ensure that a printer is installed. Убедитесь, что принтер установлен. The book Ensured his success. Эта книга принесла ему успех. We will Ensure equal opportunities ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова keenKeen — острый, пряный, сильный; страстно желающий Перевод слова Keen as a razor — острый как бритва dishes with a keen relish — пряные блюда keen hunger — мучительный голод keen eyesight — острое зрение keen reader — любознательный читатель Dogs have a very Keen sense of smell. У собак очень острое обоняние. He was ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы return the compliment[return the compliment] {v. phr.} To say or do the same to someonethat he has said or done to you; pay someone back. Mary said, «Ilove your new hairdo» and Suzy returned the compliment with «What apretty dress you’re wearing, Mary.» John punched Jerry in thenose, and Jerry returned the compliment....
30. A fair warningTourist guide at zoo: «Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, the largest animal to roam the lands. Every day the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of bananas, 6 tons of hay, and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits. Madam, please don’t stand near the elephant’s backside…. Madam, PLEASE don’t stand near the elephant’s backside… MADAM… ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы fish for a compliment[fish for a compliment] {v, phr.} To try to make someone pay acompliment. When Jim showed me his new car, I could tell that hewas fishing for a compliment....
32. Значение идиомы left-handed compliment[left-handed compliment] An ambiguous compliment which isinterpretable as an offense. I didn’t know you could look sopretty! Is that a wig you’re wearing?...
33. Перевод слова staffStaff — персонал, кадры Перевод слова To fill up staff vacancies — комплектовать штат administrative staff — административный персонал coaching staff — команда тренеров Our Staff was at full strength. Наши сотрудники были в полном составе. She joined the Staff as an editor. Она стала работать редактором. The hospital has an excellent nursing Staff. В ... Читать далее...
34. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtleThere once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова viceVice — порок, зло, недостаток, дефект; заместитель Перевод слова Sunk in vice — погрязший в пороке vices of drawing — ошибки в рисунке vice chairman — вице-председатель He sank into Vice. Он погряз в пороке. Eating too much is my Vice. Обжорство — мой порок. He was nominated as Vice chairman. Он был назначен на ... Читать далее...
36. American Institutions: the Presidency — Американские институты власти: президентствоThe President (any natural-born citizen over 34) is elected for a term of four years and can only be re-elected for one more term (22nd amendment — adopted after Franklin D. Roosevelt’s four successive terms). The President was originally intended to be little more than a ceremonial Head of State, as well as Commander in ... Читать далее...
37. Presidents should not swear in on a BibleBarack Obama’s hand lies on a Bible held by Michelle Obama as he is sworn in as the 44th U. S. president on January 20, 2009. U. S. presidents should not be sworn into office with their hand on a Bible. At Monday’s inauguration of his second term, President Barack Obama will raise his right ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод идиомы wait in the wings, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: wait in the wings Перевод: ждать своего часа, быть наготове Пример: The vice-president was waiting in the wings to help the president. Вице президент был готов помочь, если президенту понадобится помощь....
39. Bad news and awful newsOne morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads «I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD». Bill calls the FBI and says «Someone has written «I hope you get impeached» ... Читать далее...
40. Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinnerSome time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff ... Читать далее...