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1. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to tryA blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes ... Читать далее...
2. A helping handHarry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, «Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around ... Читать далее...
3. Deserted island golfA man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, «It’s not a ship.» The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, «It’s not a boat.» The speck gets even closer and he thinks, «It’s not a raft.» ... Читать далее...
4. A blonde bought two horses, and could never rememberA blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and our friend was stuck ... Читать далее...
5. Bathroom controlOne day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says «Hey Paco, you shit your pants?» Paco says «No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.» He believes him and they keep riding. As they ... Читать далее...
6. A group of cowboys were branding some cattleA group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cook saw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner he cooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking and ignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, «Did I screw up the ... Читать далее...
7. A blonde decides to try horseback ridingA blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова wildWild — дикий, нецивилизованный Перевод слова Wild tribes — дикие племена wild animals — дикие звери wild flowers — полевые цветы My son’s Wild about football. Мой сын просто без ума от футбола. A mob runs Wild. Толпа выходит из-под контроля, буйствует. They live somewhere out in the Wilds. Они жили где-то в дикой местности....
9. A talking horseA travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. «Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my ... Читать далее...
10. Visiting a RanchPiero: What’s all this? Annie: I’m visiting my sister and brother-in-law’s new Ranch next month and I’m getting ready for it. I know I’m a city girl, but I plan To fit right in On that ranch and work Alongside all of the other cowboys. Piero: Well, you Look the part. You’ve got your Cowboy ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы take it into one’s head[take it into one’s head] or {informal} [take a notion] {v. phr.}To get a sudden idea; decide without thinking. The boy suddenlytook it into his head to leave school and get a job. Grandmotherkeeps a bag packed so that she can go visiting whenever she takes anotion....
12. Перевод слова cattleCattle — крупный рогатый скот Перевод слова Cattle breeding — скотоводство dairy cattle — молочный скот herd of cattle — стадо коров Male Cattle are bulls. Мужские особи крупного рогатого скота — это быки. The Cattle are all roped in now. Теперь весь скот огражден веревками. The Cattle have to be rounded up and counted. ... Читать далее...
13. A man is waiting for his wife to give birthA man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы pants[pants] See: ANTS IN ONE’S PANTS, CATCH ONE WITH ONE’S PANTS DOWN, FANCY PANTS, FLY BY THE SEAT OF ONE’S PANTS, GET THE LEAD OUT OF ONE’spanTS, KICK IN THE PANTS, WEAR THE TROUSERS or WEAR THE PANTS....
15. Debate about the boxAn engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it’s a pretty good working solution. «No no,» says the physicist, «there’s a ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова partnerPartner — партнер, соучастник, супруг Перевод слова Dancing partner — партнер по танцам bad partner — сожитель; сожительница a partner in crime — соучастник преступления nominal partner — номинальный член товарищества Assign each student a Partner. Назначьте каждому студенту напарника. Him and me, we Partnered once. Однажды мы с ним имели дело. Set to your ... Читать далее...
17. This man was sitting quietly reading his paperThis man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: «What was that for?» Wife: «What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы on the fence[on the fence] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} Not able, or not wanting tochoose; in doubt; undecided. — Often used with «sit». Jack sat onthe fence for a week last spring before he finally joined the trackteam instead of the baseball team. Mrs. Jones has decided to votefor the Democrats, but Mr. Jones is still on ... Читать далее...
19. A bunch of Indians capture a cowboyA bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named «Clint», and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, «You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?» ... Читать далее...
20. A horse and a rabbitA horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes ... Читать далее...
21. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
22. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfireThree cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, «I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова suddenSudden — внезапный, неожиданный, стремительный Перевод слова Sudden change — внезапные изменения, внезапный сдвиг the sudden closeness of the weather — неожиданно душная погода sudden departure — поспешный уход This is so Sudden. Это так неожиданно. Sudden I heard a voice. Неожиданно я услышал чей-то голос. He made a Sudden stand. Он внезапно остановился...
24. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has toJones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his ... Читать далее...
25. An Unusual AilmentA man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can’t believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the ... Читать далее...
26. Bying a horseThis guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend «I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.» The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. «A female horth,» the midget replies. So the ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы horse[horse] See: BET ON THE WRONG HORSE, CART BEFORE THE HORSE, CHANGEHORSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM or CHANGE HORSES IN MIDSTREAM, EATLIKE A HORSE, HOLD ONE’S HORSES. IRON HORSE, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTERTHE HORSE IS STOLEN, LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, OFF ONE’S HIGHHORSE, ON ONE’S HIGH HORSE, PUT ONE’S ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы head off[head off] {v.} 1. To get in front of and stop, turn back, or turnaside. The sheriff said to head the cattle thieves off at thepass. 2. To block; stop; prevent. He will get into trouble ifsomeone doesn’t head him off....
29. Значение идиомы get stuck[get stuck] {v. phr.} 1. To be victimized; be cheated. TheSmiths sure got stuck when they bought that secondhand car; it brokedown just two days after they got it. 2. To become entrapped orembroiled in a physical, emotional, or social obstacle so as to beunable to free oneself. Last winter our car got stuck in ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова fenceFence — забор, изгородь Перевод слова Green fence — живая изгородь picket fence — частокол barbed-wire fence — изгородь из колючей проволоки The lions in the park are safely Fenced in. Львы в парке находятся за безопасным ограждением. The kitchen was well Fenced from the wind and rain. Кухня была хорошо защищена от ветра и ... Читать далее...
31. Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamentingTwo drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe. The other says, «I just ... Читать далее...
32. Fucking bearOnes there was a wild-wild bear. He went through the wild dark fores an? drank beer, so he was drunk. — People don’t understand me, fucking people… I want to fuck them… i wanna fuck all the mankind! A second latter a wild hunter fucked a wild bear into his ass…...
33. A small dissapointmentTwo GI’s in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit. «I can’t go in here» he says» It’s really going to stink» «There’s another trench over there» says the other. «I’ll cover you with the M60…. just give me a shout and and i’ll cover ... Читать далее...
34. A jazz chordStevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы ride herd on[ride herd on] {v. phr.} 1. To patrol on horseback around a herd ofanimals to see that none of them wanders away. Two cowboys rodeherd on the cattle being driven to market. 2. {informal} To watchclosely and control; take care of. A special legislative assistantrides herd on the bills the president is anxious to have ... Читать далее...
36. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into townVentriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? ... Читать далее...
37. A guy walks into a bar and sits down next toA guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over ... Читать далее...
38. A man sat quietly reading his morning paperA man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: «What was that for?» Wife: «Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with «Daisy» written on it?» Man: «Oh honey, ... Читать далее...
39. The real treasureAn 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, «See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы head[head] See: ACID HEAD, BEAT INTO ONE’S HEAD, BEAT ONE’S HEADAGAINST A WALL, BIG HEAD, COUNT HEADS, EYES IN THE BACK OF ONE’S HEAD, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET THROUGH ONE’S HEAD, GOOD HEAD ON ONE’SSHOULDERS, GO TO ONE’S HEAD, HANG ONE’S HEAD, HAVE ONE’S HEAD IN THESAND, HAVE ROCKS IN ONE’S HEAD, HEAP COALS ... Читать далее...