Georgia Jokes

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1. Jokes of science 03 Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender […]...
2. Virginia Jokes Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Virginia: Please don’t confuse us […]...
3. Want some chicken? A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken […]...
4. Jokes of science 01 At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’ Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The ‘wave’. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator. A student recognizes […]...
5. Washington Jokes Washington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Washington: We like our state, so stay […]...
6. A life-long city man, tired of the rat race A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a […]...
7. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
8. New York Jokes New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
9. Florida Jokes Dumb Florida Laws Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just […]...
10. Nature of georgia According to the folk legend, when God share lands among people, where those were supposed to live, Georgians were late because they had banquet. When they appeared in front of Him they were told that no free lands were left. And Georgians replied that they were late while they were drinking for His health and […]...
11. Georgia Топик Грузия рассказывает о государстве, расположенном в западной части Закавказья на восточном побережье Черного моря. Гостеприимная Грузия привлекательна суровой красотой горных храмов, харчевнями старого Тбилиси, лезгинкой и простодушным искусством Пиросмани. Больших городов здесь немного: Тбилиси с его соборами, театрами, серными банями, уютными улочками и шашлычными, древний Кутаиси – столица Колхидского царства, Батуми – южный коктейль […]...
12. California Jokes California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dumb California Laws Sunshine […]...
13. Talking About Immigration Ann: The Immigration policy in this country is ridiculous. Why are there so many Illegal immigrants here? They Cross the border and take American jobs! They all need to be Deported. Chris: A lot of immigrants have lived here nearly all their lives. Do you mean to tell me that you want to do some […]...
14. A clear moral One day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story. Suzy said, “Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive […]...
15. Перевод слова spit Spit – вертел, шампур; плеваться, плевок Перевод слова To spit blood – харкать кровью to spit out – выплевывать I spit at his advice – мне плевать на его совет She Spat in his face. Она плюнула ему в лицо. He Spat out a stone. Он выплюнул косточку. You wouldn’t dare to Spit at the […]...
16. Atlanta Jokes Some quick thoughts… 1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. 2. All directions start with, “Go down Peachtree…” and include the phrase, “When you see the Waffle House…” 3. Peachtree Street […]...
17. These Chickens want Books A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ […]...
18. Jokes about St. Patrick’s Day Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that” It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride […]...
19. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire.” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, […]...
20. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
21. Перевод слова illegal Illegal – нелегальный, противозаконный Перевод слова Illegal trade – незаконная торговля; контрабанда illegal fishery – браконьерский рыбный промысел illegal immigrant – незаконный иммигрант It is Illegal to litter. Мусорить – запрещено. The Illegal immigrants were deported. Нелегальные иммигранты были депортированы. The police winked at Illegal gambling. Полиция закрывала глаза на незаконный доход от азартных игр. […]...
22. Socializing With Clients Georgia: Do you know what the best part is of my new Promotion? The Expense account! I can’t wait To wine and dine our Clients. Dan: The purpose of the expense account is To win over new clients and to keep our current clients happy. It’s not a personal Slush fund, you know. Georgia: I […]...
23. New weapon Chicken Gun Flash – New Weapon in America’s Arsenal – Dubbed ‘The Chicken Gun’ Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force “chicken gun.” It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per […]...
24. Значение идиомы carry one’s cross [carry one’s cross] or {literary} [bear one’s cross] {v. phr.} To live with pain or trouble; keep on even though you suffer or have trouble. Weak ankles are a cross Joe carries while the other boys play basketball. We didn’t know the cheerful woman was bearing her cross, a son in prison....
25. Перевод слова assembly Assembly – сборка, собрание Перевод слова Factory assembly – заводская сборка freedom of assembly – свобода собраний to work on an assembly line – работать на конвейере The marking-out of the Assembly position was not difficult. Указать сборный пункт было нетрудно. They demanded the right of Assembly. Они требовали права на собрания. Every country town […]...
26. Значение идиомы go to bed with the chickens [go to bed with the chickens] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to bedearly at night. On the farm John worked hard and went to bed withthe chickens. Mr. Barnes goes to bed with the chickens because hehas to get up at 5 A. M....
27. Political system of Russia The Russian Federation is a Presidential (or a constitutional) republic. The President is the head of the state and is elected directly by the people. In fact he has much power, he controls all the three branches of power. The President can even dissolve the Duma if he doesn’t agree with his suggestions three times […]...
28. Перевод слова chicken Chicken – курица, курятина Перевод слова Casseroled chicken – запеченный цыпленок chicken manure – куриный помет chicken coop – курятник Don’t be such a Chicken! Не будь таким трусом! We cooked a whole Chicken. Мы варили курицу целиком. We barbecued Chicken and ribs. Мы жарили на гриле курицу и ребра....
29. Disliking a Sibling’s Boyfriend or Girlfriend Georgia: So I thought Carla was nice. Andy: You did? I didn’t Get that impression at all. I don’t know What Brian sees in her. Georgia: Really? I thought she was really trying To make a good impression. Andy: Yeah, she was trying Too hard. She laughed too loudly at my jokes and Complimented you […]...
30. More dorm jokes I can’t resist a few: 1. Once you have stolen a dormmate’s room keys, the room is yours to plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock (so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to […]...
31. Neighborhood jokes 1) Got a neighbor that’s a real pain in the ass? Do they have a lawn? Do they have a garden that’s accessible? Yes to all the above? Great! Go out and get yourself some grass-killer and fill the suckers hose with the stuff. Then sit back and wait for them water their lawn! Nuff […]...
32. Russia Jokes What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
33. Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection. The first one says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.” St. Peter says:”You see the bowl of holy water, wash your hand and go in.” The second says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in both hands.” […]...
34. Jokes about Ireland 2 Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Joey-Jim asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” he replied with relief. “I thought I’d […]...
35. Перевод слова Sunday Sunday – Воскресенье Перевод слова To stay over until Sunday – остаться до воскресенья of a Sunday – по воскресеньям Sunday school – воскресная школа We like to walk every Sunday. Нам нравится гулять каждое воскресенье. My birthday falls on Sunday. Мой день рождения попадает на воскресенье. Brian had an MRI taken Sunday. Брайану сделали […]...
36. Bassoon Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bassoon recital. Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe? A: The bassoon burns longer. Q: What is a burning oboe good for? A: Setting a bassoon on fire. Q: Which burns better, an oboe or a bassoon? A: A […]...
37. Clean St. Patrick’s Day Jokes An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!” The priest asks him, “Are you all right, Rabbi?” The Rabbi responds, “Just a little shaken.” The priest pulls a […]...
38. Перевод идиомы bear one’s cross / carry one’s cross, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bear one’s cross / carry one’s cross Перевод: нести крест, нести бремя Пример: Raising three children on her own was the way that the woman had to bear her cross. Воспитание трех детей одной – вот бремя, которое пришлось нести этой женщине....
39. Mixed football jokes A burglary was recently committed at West Ham’s ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet. The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to […]...
40. German Jokes Q: How does a German eat mussels A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* … AUFMACHEN!!! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Q: What’s […]...