Georgia Jokes

Related topics:

1. Virginia JokesVirginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix? — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Virginia: Please don’t confuse us ... Читать далее...
2. Washington JokesWashington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Washington: We like our state, so stay ... Читать далее...
3. New York JokesNew York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
4. Nature of georgiaAccording to the folk legend, when God share lands among people, where those were supposed to live, Georgians were late because they had banquet. When they appeared in front of Him they were told that no free lands were left. And Georgians replied that they were late while they were drinking for His health and ... Читать далее...
5. GeorgiaТопик Грузия рассказывает о государстве, расположенном в западной части Закавказья на восточном побережье Черного моря. Гостеприимная Грузия привлекательна суровой красотой горных храмов, харчевнями старого Тбилиси, лезгинкой и простодушным искусством Пиросмани. Больших городов здесь немного: Тбилиси с его соборами, театрами, серными банями, уютными улочками и шашлычными, древний Кутаиси — столица Колхидского царства, Батуми — южный коктейль ... Читать далее...
6. Florida JokesDumb Florida Laws Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just ... Читать далее...
7. Disliking a Sibling’s Boyfriend or GirlfriendGeorgia: So I thought Carla was nice. Andy: You did? I didn’t Get that impression at all. I don’t know What Brian sees in her. Georgia: Really? I thought she was really trying To make a good impression. Andy: Yeah, she was trying Too hard. She laughed too loudly at my jokes and Complimented you ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова spitSpit — вертел, шампур; плеваться, плевок Перевод слова To spit blood — харкать кровью to spit out — выплевывать I spit at his advice — мне плевать на его совет She Spat in his face. Она плюнула ему в лицо. He Spat out a stone. Он выплюнул косточку. You wouldn’t dare to Spit at the ... Читать далее...
9. California JokesCalifornia: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Dumb California Laws Sunshine ... Читать далее...
10. Jokes of science 03Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, «How much for a beer?» The bartender ... Читать далее...
11. Jokes of science 01At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’ Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The ‘wave’. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator. A student recognizes ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова illegalIllegal — нелегальный, противозаконный Перевод слова Illegal trade — незаконная торговля; контрабанда illegal fishery — браконьерский рыбный промысел illegal immigrant — незаконный иммигрант It is Illegal to litter. Мусорить — запрещено. The Illegal immigrants were deported. Нелегальные иммигранты были депортированы. The police winked at Illegal gambling. Полиция закрывала глаза на незаконный доход от азартных игр. ... Читать далее...
13. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important toThis fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to ... Читать далее...
14. Socializing With ClientsGeorgia: Do you know what the best part is of my new Promotion? The Expense account! I can’t wait To wine and dine our Clients. Dan: The purpose of the expense account is To win over new clients and to keep our current clients happy. It’s not a personal Slush fund, you know. Georgia: I ... Читать далее...
15. Talking About ImmigrationAnn: The Immigration policy in this country is ridiculous. Why are there so many Illegal immigrants here? They Cross the border and take American jobs! They all need to be Deported. Chris: A lot of immigrants have lived here nearly all their lives. Do you mean to tell me that you want to do some ... Читать далее...
16. The complaint letter from JudiThe complaint letter from Judi: We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова assemblyAssembly — сборка, собрание Перевод слова Factory assembly — заводская сборка freedom of assembly — свобода собраний to work on an assembly line — работать на конвейере The marking-out of the Assembly position was not difficult. Указать сборный пункт было нетрудно. They demanded the right of Assembly. Они требовали права на собрания. Every country town ... Читать далее...
18. Political system of RussiaThe Russian Federation is a Presidential (or a constitutional) republic. The President is the head of the state and is elected directly by the people. In fact he has much power, he controls all the three branches of power. The President can even dissolve the Duma if he doesn’t agree with his suggestions three times ... Читать далее...
19. Jokes About The Irishmen«Hey,» said a new arrival in the pub, «I’ve got some great Irish jokes.» «Before you start,» said the big bloke in the corner, «, I’m Irish.» «Don’t worry,» said the newcomer, «I’ll tell them slowly.» Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова chickenChicken — курица, курятина Перевод слова Casseroled chicken — запеченный цыпленок chicken manure — куриный помет chicken coop — курятник Don’t be such a Chicken! Не будь таким трусом! We cooked a whole Chicken. Мы варили курицу целиком. We barbecued Chicken and ribs. Мы жарили на гриле курицу и ребра....
21. Atlanta JokesSome quick thoughts… 1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. 2. All directions start with, «Go down Peachtree…» and include the phrase, «When you see the Waffle House…» 3. Peachtree Street ... Читать далее...
22. Want some chicken?A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken ... Читать далее...
23. Chicago JokesA man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary ... Читать далее...
24. More dorm jokesI can’t resist a few: 1. Once you have stolen a dormmate’s room keys, the room is yours to plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock (so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to ... Читать далее...
25. Jokes about St. Patrick’s DayTwo Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy «Jez, that look like Sean» to which Paddy replied «No Sean was taller than that» It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова SundaySunday — Воскресенье Перевод слова To stay over until Sunday — остаться до воскресенья of a Sunday — по воскресеньям Sunday school — воскресная школа We like to walk every Sunday. Нам нравится гулять каждое воскресенье. My birthday falls on Sunday. Мой день рождения попадает на воскресенье. Brian had an MRI taken Sunday. Брайану сделали ... Читать далее...
27. Mixed football jokesA burglary was recently committed at West Ham’s ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet. The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы spit up[spit up] {v.} To vomit a little. The baby always spits up whenhe is burped. Put a bib on the baby. I don’t want him to spit upon his clean clothes....
29. Q & A Iraqi War JokesQ: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Q: What’s the fastest way to ... Читать далее...
30. Jokes about Dumb IrishmenThe blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. ... Читать далее...
31. Irish Pub JokesMurphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, «Where are we now?» The guide said, «We’re in the great state of Texas.» «It’s a big place,» said Murphy. The ... Читать далее...
32. Jokes about the Stupid IrishA man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, «Fill it up, will you?». The man says «Sorry — we’re right out of petrol.» So the man considers, and ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы head[head] See: ACID HEAD, BEAT INTO ONE’S HEAD, BEAT ONE’S HEADAGAINST A WALL, BIG HEAD, COUNT HEADS, EYES IN THE BACK OF ONE’S HEAD, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET THROUGH ONE’S HEAD, GOOD HEAD ON ONE’SSHOULDERS, GO TO ONE’S HEAD, HANG ONE’S HEAD, HAVE ONE’S HEAD IN THESAND, HAVE ROCKS IN ONE’S HEAD, HEAP COALS ... Читать далее...
34. Russia JokesWhat’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
35. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
36. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
37. Disagreeing about ReligionJim: You know that Religion is a Taboo subject, especially with Paul. Why were you Baiting him all through dinner? Tammy: I wasn’t baiting him. We have very different views on Spirituality and I wanted to discuss the subject with him. Jim: You were making Disparaging remarks about his Faith and some of the things ... Читать далее...
38. Finding a BargainManuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite ... Читать далее...
39. Finding a BargainManuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite ... Читать далее...
40. A penis studyIn 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the study was published, ... Читать далее...