France Jokes

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1. Перевод слова FranceFrance — Франция Перевод слова To go to France — поехать во Францию newly returned from France — недавно вернувшийся из Франции truncheon of a Marshal of France — жезл маршала Франции Have you ever been to France? Ты когда-нибудь был во Франции? Calais served as a key to France. Кале служило входными воротами во ... Читать далее...
2. Irish religion jokesBoyle sat in a Belfast confessional. «Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,» he said. «I’ve blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!» «All right, my son,» admonished the priest. «For penance, finish off the stations!» Father Murphy met Casey in the street and Casey admired his new umbrella. Father Murphy said, «Thank you, ... Читать далее...
3. German JokesQ: How does a German eat mussels A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* … AUFMACHEN!!! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Q: What’s ... Читать далее...
4. Достопримечательности Франции/ Places of Interest in FranceНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Places of Interest in France Достопримечательности Франции France is one of the most beautiful and romantic countries in the world. It’s the place where many couples try to spend their honeymoon. The capital of the country is Paris. The city itself is regarded as the place of interest. ... Читать далее...
5. Франция/ FranceНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык France Франция If you want to see the Eiffel Tower and the Champs-Elysees, you should go to France. There are many countries in the world, but non like this one. It is not only the largest country in Europe, but also one of the most interesting places in ... Читать далее...
6. Hitler and the Eiffel TowerAdolf Hitler and his entourage pose in front of the Eiffel Tower shortly after the fall of France. One of the most recognized structures in the world is located in Paris, France. With just those clues alone (well and the title of the post…) many have already guessed that this post is about the Eiffel ... Читать далее...
7. Jump out of the planeAn Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says » We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one ... Читать далее...
8. There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffsThere were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, «God bless you children, that’s Christianity at work. May the lord bless ... Читать далее...
9. Short Christmas jokesWhat did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve! What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter «D» ! What does Father Christmas suffer from if he ... Читать далее...
10. England JokesQ: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
11. The Frenchman and the ItalianThe Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude. «Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!» the Frenchman said, smacking his lips. So the Italian shot her....
12. CHECK THE BUFFETT!In a Texas bar, The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the regulars. So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them «whip ’em out».Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar, at the same time a gay guy walks into the bar. Fred ask the man ... Читать далее...
13. Q & A Iraqi War JokesQ: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Q: What’s the fastest way to ... Читать далее...
14. Some practical jokesSmaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either ... Читать далее...
15. Florida JokesDumb Florida Laws Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just ... Читать далее...
16. A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he couldA little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could. ‘God,’ he prayed, ‘I really want a car.’ Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty. ‘God,’ he prayed again, ‘I really NEED a car.’ Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into ... Читать далее...
17. A really bad, terrible mistakeFred goes to a doctor and says, «Doc, I want to be castrated.» Doc says, «Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.» Fred: «Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a little embarrassed about talking ... Читать далее...
18. Jokes About The Irishmen«Hey,» said a new arrival in the pub, «I’ve got some great Irish jokes.» «Before you start,» said the big bloke in the corner, «, I’m Irish.» «Don’t worry,» said the newcomer, «I’ll tell them slowly.» Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the ... Читать далее...
19. The girl knelt in the confessional and saidThe girl knelt in the confessional and said, «Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.» «What is it, child?» «Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.» The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and ... Читать далее...
20. Russia JokesWhat’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
21. One day there was an indian chief who was constipatedOne day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says «Big Chief, no shit». the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and ... Читать далее...
22. Jokes about St. Patricks Day 2McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. «S’cuse me,» said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. «What was that all ... Читать далее...
23. Fred DingalingA local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. «Fred,» he replies. «Fred what?» ... Читать далее...
24. Short Irish JokesQ: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic? A: It has a 12 month waiting list. Q: What’s long & green & has a low I. Q.? A: A St. Patrick’s Day Parade Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? A: Regular rocks are too heavy. Q: Why can’t you borrow ... Читать далее...
25. A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an AmericanA Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. «Last night I made love to my wife four times,» the Frenchman bragged, «and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored ... Читать далее...
26. Washington JokesWashington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Washington: We like our state, so stay ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы witch-hunt[witch-hunt] {n. phr.} A hysterical movement during which peopleare persecuted for having views considereddifferent or unpopular. During the McCarthy era many innocentAmericans were accused of being Communists, as Republican patriotismdeteriorated into a witch-hunt....
28. Amusing Jokes about the IrishMrs. Ryan, a mean looking woman, claimed her husband was not thoughtful. In this she was wrong; her husband thought about her too much. One morning on his way to work, he thought about her so much that he got off the subway at 34th Street and went to the Greyhound Terminal and took a ... Читать далее...
29. Jokes about Dumb IrishmenThe blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. ... Читать далее...
30. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
31. Clean St. Patrick’s Day JokesAn Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, «Oy vey! What a wreck!» The priest asks him, «Are you all right, Rabbi?» The Rabbi responds, «Just a little shaken.» The priest pulls a ... Читать далее...
32. Chicago JokesA man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы bless one’s heart[bless one’s heart] {v. phr.} To thank someone; consider one the cause of something good that has happened. Aunt Jane, bless her heart, left me half a million dollars!...
34. Tommy goes into a confessional box and saysTommy goes into a confessional box and says, «Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.» The Priest says, «Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says «Yes father, it’s me.» The Priest says «Who was the woman you were with?» Tommy says «I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы curiosity killed the cat[curiosity killed the cat] {informal} Getting too nosy may lead a person into trouble. — A proverb. «Curiosity killed the cat,» Fred’s father said, when he found Fred hunting around in closets just before Christmas....
36. A good ideaHaving passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, «Why do you want to join the Navy, son?» «My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.» «Oh? And what does your father do?» «He’s in the Army, sir.»...
37. Значение идиомы will not hear of[will not hear of] {v. phr.} Will not allow or consider, refuseattention to or permission for. I want to go to the show tonight, but I know my mother will not hear of it. Mary needs another dayto finish her book report, but the teacher won’t hear of any delay. John’s father told him he ... Читать далее...
38. Two men were boasting to each otherTwo men were boasting to each other about their old army days. «Why, my outfit was so well drilled,» declared one, «that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.» «Very good,» conceded the other, «but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.» «What was the jingle?» ... Читать далее...
39. A man gets home early from workA man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. «What’s up?» he says. «I’m having a heart attack,» cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, ... Читать далее...
40. Clean Jokes about the IrishMurphy said to his daughter, «I want you home by eleven o’clock.» She said, «But Father, I’m no longer a child!» He said, «I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.» MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O’Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on ... Читать далее...