Egg joke

Related topics:

1. Chinese Fire Drill One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and […]...
2. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
3. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
4. Outhouse joke A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to […]...
5. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
6. Where are the fingers? Jon’s working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.” Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.” The doctor says, “What do […]...
7. Значение идиомы leave holding the bag [leave holding the bag] or [leave holding the sack] {v. phr.},{informal} 1. To cause not to have something needed; leavewithout anything, In the rush for seats, Joe was left holding thebag. 2. To force to take the whole responsibility or blamefor something that others should share. When the ball hit theglass, the team scattered and […]...
8. Значение идиомы sticky fingers [sticky fingers] {n. phr.}, {slang} 1. The habit of stealing thingsyou see and want. Don’t leave money in your locker; some of theboys have sticky fingers. Don’t leave that girl alone in the roomwith so many valuable objects around, because she has sticky fingers. 2. Ability to catch a ball, especially football forward passes. Jack […]...
9. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
10. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
11. Appearance: The Arms and Hands – Внешность: руки The arms and hands of our prehistoric ancestors were probably not very different from the human arm and hand today. The upper and lower joints of the arm, elbow and wrist, were probably very similar, and the basic structure of the hand with its five fingers was also the same. But according to some scientists, […]...
12. Peanuts Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it […]...
13. Mirror, mirror A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four”. Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell […]...
14. Moving Out of a Home [A knock on door.] Andre: Hello. Is anyone here? Ellie: Yes, can I help you? Andre: I saw your door open and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Did you just Move in? Ellie: No, I’m Moving out. As you can see, I’m doing Last-minute packing. I think I’ve used up 10 […]...
15. Перевод слова confidence Confidence – уверенность, доверие Перевод слова Growing confidence – растущее доверие to have confidence in the future – быть уверенным в будущем to express confidence – выразить доверие He had perfect Confidence in her ability to succeed. Он не сомневался в том, что она добьется успеха. The class gave me more Confidence. Учебный курс придал […]...
16. Promoting a New Product Zoila: I haven’t seen you around lately. What have you been up to? Leo: My business partners and I have been Putting the final touches on our new Line of energy drinks. Zoila: Really? I didn’t even know that you were in the beverage business. Leo: Yeah, we’ve Branched out into a few other areas. […]...
17. A yard sale A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of […]...
18. Перевод идиомы leave someone holding the bag / leave someone holding the baby, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: leave someone holding the bag / leave someone holding the baby Перевод: переложить на кого-либо ответственность, вину; сделать крайним кого-либо Пример: My friend left me holding the bag when he left the accident. Мой друг переложил всю вину на меня, когда покинул место происшествия....
19. Значение идиомы at times [at times] {adv. phr.} Not often; not regularly; not every day; not every week; occasionally; sometimes. At times Tom’s mother lets him hold the baby. You can certainly be exasperating, at times! We have pie for dinner at times. Syn.: FROM TIME TO TIME, NOW AND THEN, ONCE IN A WHILE....
20. Перевод слова frame Frame – рамка, каркас, сооружение; телосложение Перевод слова The frame of a building – каркас здания boring frame – буровая вышка a man of iron frame – человек железной конституции I need new Frames for my glasses. Мне нужна новая оправа для очков. Hammer the nails into the back of the Frame. Вбейте гвозди в […]...
21. An elderly couple in a senior home An elderly couple in a senior’s home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys’s penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another women holding his penis. “What’s she got that I […]...
22. Practical Joke A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the […]...
23. Giving Cats Pills INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill […]...
24. Перевод слова fingers Fingers – пальцы Перевод слова Dexterous fingers – ловкие пальцы to count on one’s fingers – считать на пальцах to snap one’s fingers – щелкать пальцами He snapped his Fingers. Он щелкнул пальцами. We ate with our Fingers. Мы ели руками. His Fingers turned to thumbs. Его пальцы одеревенели. Происхождение слова fingers Множественное число для […]...
25. Installing Windows and Doors Vern: I really think we’ve Bitten off more than we can chew. I like Do-it-yourself projects, but Installing a new window and a new door isn’t as easy as it looks. Genevive: What we don’t know, we’ll Learn as we go. Okay, we’ve removed the old window. This new Double-paned one is going to be […]...
26. Arriving home very drunk A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.” The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles […]...
27. Перевод слова victim Victim – жертва, потерпевший Перевод слова The victim of malice – жертва недоброжелательства the victim of his own folly – жертва собственной глупости earthquake victim – жертва землетрясения He was the Victim of an error. Он был жертвой ошибки. He was the Victim of a freak accident. Он стал жертвой странного происшествия. The Victim was […]...
28. Перевод слова similar Similar – аналогичный, похожий, подобный Перевод слова Similar case – похожий случай, сходная ситуация under similar conditions – при сходных условиях similar in colour – сходный по цвету a similar opinion – подобное мнение Your shirt is Similar to mine. Ваша рубашка похожа на мою. You two look very Similar to each other. Вы двое […]...
29. You’re at a Bad Motel Top Signs You’re At A Bad Motel The “complimentary” paper tells you that President Kennedy has died. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it. The “magic fingers vibration” is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes […]...
30. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
31. Значение идиомы in a bad frame of mind [in a bad frame of mind] {adv. phr.} In an unhappy mood. Makesure the boss is not in a bad frame of mind when you ask him for araise. Contrast: IN A GOOD FRAME OF MIND....
32. Describing Aches and Pains Nivia: Why are you walking Funny? Michael: Oh, I Pulled a muscle in my right leg while playing with my kids last weekend. It’s hard to walk without feeling a Twinge of Pain. Nivia: I’m sorry to hear that. Why are you sitting in that Awkward position? Michael: I Strained my back while exercising. Initially, […]...
33. Значение идиомы cross one’s fingers [cross one’s fingers] {v. phr.} 1a. To cross two fingers of one hand for good luck. Mary crossed her fingers during the race so that Tom would win. 1b. or [keep one’s fingers crossed] {informal} To wish for good luck. Keep your fingers crossed while I take the test. 2. To cross two fingers of […]...
34. Значение идиомы in a good frame of mind [in a good frame of mind] {adv. phr.} In a happy mood. After arelaxing holiday in the Bahamas, the boss was in a very good frame ofmind. Contrast: IN A BAD FRAME OF MIND....
35. Who am I? Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: “Quick! My husband is back!” Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: “Shit! But I am the husband!” Sent by Ser...
36. Значение идиомы finger [finger] See: BURN ONE’S FINGERS, CROSS ONE’S FINGERS or KEEP ONE’SFINGERS CROSSED, LAY A FINGER ON, LIFT A FINGER, PUT ONE’S FINGER ONalso LAY ONE’S FINGER ON, SLIP THROUGH ONE’S FINGERS, SNAP ONE’SFINGERS AT, STICKY FINGERS, TWIST AROUND ONE’S LITTLE FINGER, WORKONE’S FINGERS TO THE BONE....
37. Hotel Housekeeping I’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the […]...
38. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
39. Перевод слова trade Trade – торговля, рынок, торговать; занятие, ремесло, профессия Перевод слова The trade of war – военная профессия coastal trade – каботажная торговля to trade heavily – вести широкую торговлю the trade of weaver – ремесло ткача His father was in Trade. Его отец был торговцем. We flourish in the French Trade. Наша торговля с французами […]...
40. Перевод слова floor Floor – пол, настил, этаж Перевод слова Dirt floor – земляной пол to live on the same floor – жить на одном этаже floor paint – краска для пола Please sweep the Floor. Пожалуйста, подмети пол. He lay flat on the Floor. Он лежал плашмя на полу. We took the lift to the tenth Floor. […]...