Dealing with trouble

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1. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
2. Getting MuggedVanessa: Stop thief! Police Officer: What happened? Vanessa: I just got Mugged. That guy stole my Purse, Jewelry, camera – all of my Valuables! Police Officer: Were you wearing Flashy jewelry and carrying an expensive camera? Those are big Enticements for muggers. Vanessa: I didn’t have anything on that was flashy and I was Minding ... Читать далее...
3. Deaf lady in troubleOne day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his ... Читать далее...
4. Trust a fellow officerA defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы weigh in[weigh in] {v.} 1a. To take the weight of; weigh. The man at theairport counter weighed in our bags and took our plane tickets. Adoctor weighed in the wrestlers. 1b. To have yourself or somethingthat you own weighed. — Often used with «at». I weighed in at 100pounds on the scale today. We took our ... Читать далее...
6. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...
7. Ten pounds of prideA Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. «WOW!» was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, «Aren’t you ... Читать далее...
8. Man Posing as Walmart Employee Sends Away Cashier, Steals Money From RegisterA man posing as a Walmart employee took over a cash register at a Fairfax County store and stole money after checking out a customer, police say. The man, who was wearing a Walmart employee vest, entered the store in the 13000 block of Fair Lakes Shopping Center in Fairfax, Virginia, at around 4 p. ... Читать далее...
9. Getting a Traffic TicketI was driving down the street when I saw a Police car behind me. Suddenly, it turned on its Siren. I realized that I was Being pulled over. Officer: Can I see your Driver’s license, Registration, and Proof of insurance? Ray: Sure. Here you are, officer. Officer: Did you know that you were Speeding? You ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова scaleScale — весы, весить; масштаб, шкала Перевод слова He tips the scales at 225 pounds — он весит 225 фунтов the scale of a drawing — масштаб чертежа Fahrenheit scale — шкала Фаренгейта He weighed himself on the Scale. Он взвесился на весах. Earthquakes are measured on the Richter Scale. Землетрясения измеряются по шкале Рихтера. ... Читать далее...
11. Touring WashingtonA blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, «Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?» The officer replied, «Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. ... Читать далее...
12. A police officer came upon a terrible wreckA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said «I wish you could talk.» The monkey looked up at ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова officerOfficer — офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer — помощник должностного лица customs officer — таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer — офицер запаса flying control officer — диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы turn in[turn in] {v.} 1. or [hand in] To give to someone; deliver tosomeone. I want you to turn in a good history paper. When thefootball season was over, we turned in our uniforms. 2. To inform on;report. She turned them in to the police for breaking the streetlight. 3. To give in return for something. ... Читать далее...
15. Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
16. He’s drunk at the barOne night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы weigh on[weigh on] or [weigh upon] {v.} 1. To be a weight or pressure on;be heavy on. The pack weighed heavily on the soldier’s back. 2. Tomake sad or worried; trouble; disturb; upset. Sadness weighed onMary’s heart when her kitten died. John’s wrongdoing weighed uponhis conscience. The teacher’s advice weighed upon Tom’s mind. 3.To be a ... Читать далее...
18. British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. — This Officer is really ... Читать далее...
19. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
20. Time for the weddingA police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But officer,» the man began, «I can explain.» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say,» «And I said to keep quiet! You’re ... Читать далее...
21. Test for being drunkA police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, «Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.» The man says, «Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have ... Читать далее...
22. Too much speedingA police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But, officer,» the man began, «I can explain» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say» «And I said ... Читать далее...
23. Chief is at a weddingA police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But officer,» the man began, «I can explain.» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say,» «And I said ... Читать далее...
24. Policemen in HeavenSt Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. «Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?» «I was a policeman,» he responded. «What kind of policeman?» St Peter asked. «I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.» «Wonderful my son, ... Читать далее...
25. Cop wants an excuseA man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks «I can outrun this guy,» so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway — ... Читать далее...
26. Obey the speed limitSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, «This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!»So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are ... Читать далее...
27. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
28. Fly, baby, fly!A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building… he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: «why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?» The blond answers in a very ... Читать далее...
29. Dealing With Foot ProblemsWalt: What are you doing? Francesca: I’m selecting and organizing my photos for a Presentation. Walt: Oh, can I see? All of these photos are of feet! Francesca: Well, I am a Podiatrist and I’m giving a talk about foot conditions. Walt: Ew, some of these are really Disgusting! Francesca: You’re looking at some of ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова giantGiant — гигант; громадный, исполинский Перевод слова A man of giant strength — человек огромной силы giant planets — большие планеты mental giant — гигант мысли The building was shaped like a Giant pyramid. Здание было выстроено в форме гигантской пирамиды. Giant pandas emit a gentle bleat instead of a mighty roar. Гигантские панды издают ... Читать далее...
31. Being Arrested by the PoliceI was walking down the street Minding my own business one evening when I was stopped by a Police officer. After asking me a couple of questions about where I’d been, he told me to put my hands behind my back. He was going To arrest me! He Handcuffed me and gave me the Miranda ... Читать далее...
32. You are in troubleAn evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself «Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.» There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: «No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your ... Читать далее...
33. Cops: Would-be robbers nabbed after restaurant owner says ‘come back’, and they doTwo men made it easy for authorities to catch them after they tried to hold up a West Rogers Park restaurant using a squirt gun but were told by the owner to return in an hour, officials said. When Mario Garcia, 39, and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez, 28, went back to the restaurant on the 6400 block ... Читать далее...
34. There was a man and woman traveling along in their carThere was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says «Did you know you were speeding back there.» The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband «What did he say, what did ... Читать далее...
35. Watching the TV NewsAnchor: Good evening. I’m Gary Singh and this is the evening news. Tonight, we’ll have a Special report from our Field reporter, Monique Sanders, on the Latest developments In the Eddie Litton court case. And in our Feature segment, we’ll go to Arizona To interview the world’s fattest dog, weighing 210 pounds! We’ll also have ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод идиомы ask for trouble / look for trouble, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: ask for trouble / look for trouble Перевод: напрашиваться на неприятности; вести себя таким образом, который приведет к неприятностям Пример: The boy is asking for trouble if he misses another class. Этот мальчик сам напросится на неприятности, если пропустит еще одно занятие....
37. The Pentagon decided one day that there were to manyThe Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and asked them to vote on a method of determining each General’s early retirement bonus. After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to ... Читать далее...
38. The accident reportDear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put «poor planning» as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an ... Читать далее...
39. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
40. David Copperfield tricks robbersDavid Copperfield has magically escaped getting robbed. The 49-year-old illusionist was walking with two female assistants to their tour bus after his show Sunday at a performing arts center when four teens pulled up in a black car, a police report said. Two armed robbers allegedly got out of the car and demanded the group’s ... Читать далее...