Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist

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1. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, «Do you know what I’m doing?» «Yes,» she replied, ... Читать далее...
2. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, «Do you know what I’m ... Читать далее...
3. Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunionSue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven’t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says, «It’s OK. We get it on every week ... Читать далее...
4. Crazy people talkA doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова crazyCrazy — ненормальный, сумасшедший Перевод слова To go crazy — сойти с ума she is crazy about him — она по нему с ума сходит a crazy idea — бредовая идея right-wing crazies — правые экстремисты crazy cat — псих I bought some Crazy good stuff there. Я купил там несколько безумно хороших вещей He ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы crazy[crazy] or [mad] or [nuts about] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Excessively fond of; infatuated with. Jack is totally nuts about Liz, but she is not too crazy about him....
7. A blond at a party was telling her friendA blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. «They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator» «So, what when the batteries run out?» asked her friend «I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.»...
8. Перевод идиомы crazy like a fox, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: crazy like a fox Перевод: хитрый и расчетливый, но прикидывающийся глупым, неумным; строить из себя дурака Пример: In the debate, he was crazy like a fox. He praised his opponent for being clever and ruthless. Во время дебатов он прикидывался глуповатым, но был очень расчетливым. Он хвалил своего оппонента за ум и неумолимость....
9. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONSHumor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO «DELICATE» OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These were not major operations. Although for most men, I Believe they would prefer triple heart bypass surgery instead… No man Alive has ever looked forward ... Читать далее...
10. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a babyA young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы stuck on[stuck on] {slang} Very much in love with; crazy about. Judythinks she is very pretty and very smart. She is stuck on herself. Lucy is stuck on the football captain....
12. Перевод слова delicateDelicate — изысканный, тонкий, щекотливый Перевод слова Delicate lace — тонкое кружево delicate equipment — чувствительное оборудование delicate subject — щекотливая тема The matter requires Delicate handling. Дело требует особого подхода. Let us learn then to have a Delicate conscience. Так давайте научим нашу совесть тонко чувствовать. Please don’t joke about such a Delicate subject. ... Читать далее...
13. OprectomyKENMORE HOSPITAL 61 COMMONWEALTH AVE. BOSTON, MA. 02115 DATE:____________ NAME: ADDRESS: Please be advised that your Oprectomy operation is scheduled for _______________, at ___________(a. m.)(p. m.). The purpose of this Extremely delicate operation is to sever the cord that connects Your eyes to your rectum and hopefully get rid of your shitty Outlook on life. ... Читать далее...
14. A husband and wife are on a nudist beachA husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод идиомы drive someone crazy / drive someone mad / drive someone insane / drive someone nuts, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: drive someone crazy / drive someone mad / drive someone insane / drive someone nuts Перевод: сводить с ума; сильно злить, раздражать Пример: The sound of the wind howling drove me crazy. Завывание ветра сводило меня с ума. John’s girlfriend keeps driving him insane because she always asks him questions when he gets home ... Читать далее...
16. English is a Crazy LanguageFrom: Charlie Indelicato Let’s face it — English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова performPerform — выполнять, совершать, исполнять Перевод слова To perform a religious ceremony — совершать религиозный обряд to perform an exploit — совершать подвиг perform a function — выполнять функцию Our team Performed very well in the match. Наша команда очень хорошо выступила в матче. How well your daughter Performs on the piano! Как хорошо играет ... Читать далее...
18. A stuttering problemA man visits the doctor’s because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: ‘It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this ... Читать далее...
19. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthdayAn eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы couch doctor[couch doctor] {n.}, {slang}, {colloquial} A psychoanalyst who puts his patients on a couch following the practice established by Sigmund Freud. I didn’t know your husband was a couch doctor, I thought he was a gynecologist!...
21. Making Changes to a Hotel ReservationReservation agent: Hello, Milton Hotel Reservations. How may I assist you? Sally: Hi, I’m calling to make some changes to an Existing reservation. Reservation agent: Certainly. Do you have the Reservation number? Sally: Sure, it’s 234678. Reservation agent: That’s a reservation for Sally Menkel. Is that right? Sally: Yes, that’s right. I’d like to change ... Читать далее...
22. ‘Texas’ is slang for’crazy’ in NorwayY’all already all know that Texas is known for its slang. The state is home to a slew of Southern colloquialisms as well as totally unique sayings you won’t hear anywhere else. But did you know that the word «Texas» is in itself a slang word? According to Texas Monthly, Norwegians have long used the ... Читать далее...
23. How Army policy beganThis is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes ... Читать далее...
24. Who Pays?David: Hey, Sally. Can I run something by you? Sally: Sure, what’s up? David: Well, A friend of a friend Wanted some help with her Taxes and we agreed that we would talk about it Over dinner. At the end of the night, when the Check came, she expected me to pay! It was really ... Читать далее...
25. Making a Medical DiagnosisTerrell: Where have you been? Sally: At the hospital, again. My doctor is putting me through another Battery of tests. Terrell: She still hasn’t been able To zero in on the cause of your pain and Make a diagnosis? Sally: No, she hasn’t. Part of the problem is that my Symptoms are Intermittent, and they ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова operationOperation — операция; действие, работа, функционирование Перевод слова To bear an operation satisfactorily — удовлетворительно перенести операцию to conduct welding operation — вести сварку operation from a distance — действие на расстоянии The Operation was of no effect. Операция не принесла успеха. The Operation of the pump is very simple. Этот насос очень прост в ... Читать далее...
27. Exercising at the GymJae: Hi, are you done with this Weight machine? Sally: Yeah, I am. I was just Trying it out. I think I must be doing something wrong. My Muscles are Aching already. Jae: Maybe I can help. I’ve been working out on these machines for a few months, so I’m pretty used to them. Sally: ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова removeRemove — передвигать, убирать, уносить, удалять Перевод слова To remove a cataract — удалить катаракту to have one’s furniture removed — перевезти свою мебель to remove an embargo — снимать запрет Remove the pan from the heat. Снимите сковороду с огня. He was Removed from office. Он был отстранен от должности. Remove the knife from ... Читать далее...
29. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problemA young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова affordAfford — быть в состоянии, позволить себе, предоставлять Перевод слова I can’t afford the money — мне это не по средствам to afford satisfaction — давать удовлетворение to afford a luxury — позволить (себе) роскошь I can’t Afford it. Я не могу себе это позволить (купить). She could not Afford to pay. Она была не ... Читать далее...
31. No pressureThis older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. «Yes Dad, what is it?» «Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it ... Читать далее...
32. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctorA blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, «I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang — but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.» «Oh Dear!» the ... Читать далее...
33. A woman asks the hardware store clerk«Do you have any batteries?» a woman asks the hardware store clerk. «Yes, m’am.» The clerk gestures with his finger. «Can you come this way?» «If I could come that way,» the woman says, «I wouldn’t need the batteries.»...
34. Two AA batteriesWoman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, «Come this way,» and heads towards the back of the store. «If I could come that way,» she tells the retreating clerk, «I wouldn’t need the batteries.»...
35. Перевод слова replaceReplace — заменять, возвращать Перевод слова To replace the receiver — положить телефонную трубку to replace a tyre — заменить шину buses are replacing the trams — автобусы вытесняют трамваи He Replaced the old razor blade Он заменил старое лезвие бритвы. She was named to Replace him as the company’s vice president. Ее назначили, чтобы ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы get stuck[get stuck] {v. phr.} 1. To be victimized; be cheated. TheSmiths sure got stuck when they bought that secondhand car; it brokedown just two days after they got it. 2. To become entrapped orembroiled in a physical, emotional, or social obstacle so as to beunable to free oneself. Last winter our car got stuck in ... Читать далее...
37. Having Skin ProblemsMother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it ... Читать далее...
38. A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her handA blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, «Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова surgerySurgery — хирургия, операция Перевод слова Plastic surgery — пластическая хирургия brain surgery — нейрохирургия open-heart surgery — операция на открытом сердце Her arm mended slowly after Surgery. После операции ее рука заживает медленно. The doctor had to perform Surgery immediately. Врачу пришлось провести операцию немедленно. He underwent Surgery to remove a blood clot. Он ... Читать далее...
40. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...