Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone

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1. Phone keeps ringingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won’t Stop Ringing? Here’s What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock ... Читать далее...
2. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
3. The first clientA young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it,» I am sorry, but my workload is so tremendous that I am not going to be able ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова phonePhone — телефон, звонить по телефону Перевод слова Phone booth — телефонная будка to leave the phone off the hook — не повесить телефонную трубку to call smb. to the phone — пригласить кого-л. к телефону to speak on the phone — говорить по телефону Can you get the Phone? Можешь принести телефон? I’ll Phone ... Читать далее...
5. Annoying phone callsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking ... Читать далее...
6. A Scottish private walks into the pharmacyA Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы load the bases[load the bases] or [fill the bases] {v. phr.} To get men on allthree bases in baseball. The Mets loaded the bases with two singlesand a base on balls. Don hit a home run with the bases loaded....
8. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his nameAn Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked «Can i help you sir?» Our man said «Yes, I would like to change my name.» «What is your current name?» asked the clerk. «Martin Arsehole,» replied the man. The clerk laughed, and said «I ... Читать далее...
9. A man spoke frantically into the phoneA man spoke frantically into the phone: «My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!» «Is this her first child?» the emergency operator asked. «No, you idiot!» the man shouted. «This is her husband!»...
10. Перевод слова corridorCorridor — коридор, проход Перевод слова Curved corridor — кривой коридор come out into the corridor — выходить в коридор aerial corridor — воздушный коридор I heard a step in the Corridor. Я слышу шаги в коридоре. He rushed off down the Corridor. Он помчался по коридору. They staggered along the Corridor. Пошатываясь, они шли ... Читать далее...
11. An Annoying Cell Phone UserCarl: I’m sorry, say that again. I couldn’t hear you Over that guy at the next table Shouting into his cell phone. Stephanie: That guy is so Rude. We’re trying to have a Leisurely conversation over a cup of coffee, and we have To out shout some Inconsiderate jerk. Carl: Do you think he realizes ... Читать далее...
12. A dog for a wifeIt was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out «Sir, Good Evening, Sir!» The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute ... Читать далее...
13. Phone jokeA few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and — such day, Illinois Bell would be «blowing the dust out of the phone lines» and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with ... Читать далее...
14. Пословица / поговорка advice is least heeded when most needed — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: advice is least heeded when most needed Перевод: на советы меньше всего обращают внимание, когда они больше всего нужны Пример: Advice is leas heeded when most needed, and he never followed any of my advice, even though it was always very useful. На советы меньше всего обращают внимание, когда они больше всего ... Читать далее...
15. Phone joke IIOne night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number ... Читать далее...
16. Shopping for a Cell PhoneSalesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video ... Читать далее...
17. Shopping for a Cell PhoneSalesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video ... Читать далее...
18. Little MermaidThree fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?» She replied, «no sir!» So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, «Did you like that?» «Oh, indeed I did, ... Читать далее...
19. Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open marketThree nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, «Well, ... Читать далее...
20. FliesA woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. «What are you doing?» She asked. «Hunting Flies» He responded. «Oh. Killing any?» She asked. «Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,» he replied. Intrigued, she asked. «How can you tell?» He responded, «3 were on a beer can, 2 were ... Читать далее...
21. A young soldier was making his first parachute jumpA young soldier was making his first parachute jump. The corporal explained the procedure «You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the chute doesn’t open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there’ll be a truck waiting to pick you up.» The soldier checked his gear, called out ... Читать далее...
22. A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar intoA blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you’d expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back ... Читать далее...
23. Being Pestered on the PhoneGisele: Our phone has been Ringing off the hook all weekend. What’s the deal? Nobu: I think it’s Jeanine. Gisele: Jeanine…Jeanine…Is that the woman you’ve been Going out with? Nobu: Yeah, it’s her. I tried To let her down easy, but she’s not Taking the hint. Gisele: I see. That’s why you’ve been Screening calls. ... Читать далее...
24. Taking a Phone MessageI was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the door, though, the phone rang. Paolo: Hello. Evelyn: Hi, Could I speak to Tony? Paolo: He’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Evelyn: Do you know when he’ll be back? Paolo: No, I don’t. Evelyn: ... Читать далее...
25. Anybody Home?A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, «Hello?» Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, «Is ... Читать далее...
26. Make a last requestTwo men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning ... Читать далее...
27. Last RequestTwo men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning ... Читать далее...
28. A veterinarian surgeonA veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, ... Читать далее...
29. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the marketThere was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова soldierSoldier — солдат, рядовой, военнослужащий Перевод слова The Unknown Soldier — неизвестный солдат a soldier defects — солдат дезертирует seasoned soldier — закаленный боец The Soldier had a weekend pass. Солдат получил увольнительную на выходные. That Soldier really lacked «solids». Тому солдату действительно не хватало твердости характера. He is framed to be a Soldier. Он ... Читать далее...
31. A 10pm curfew was imposed in BelfastA 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm. «Why did you do that?» the soldier was asked by his superior officer. «I know where he lives,» he replied, «and he wouldn’t have made it.»...
32. Switching Cell Phone PlansPaul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an ... Читать далее...
33. Switching Cell Phone PlansPaul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an ... Читать далее...
34. A man answers the phone and has the followingA man answers the phone and has the following conversation: «Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult — I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. «Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was ... Читать далее...
35. Requesting a three day passAn Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says «Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!» So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO ... Читать далее...
36. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...
37. I. R. S. phone callsThe following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
38. Phone songsAll of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 ... Читать далее...
39. John receives a phone callJohn receives a phone call. «Hello,» he answers. The voice on the ot other end says, «This is Susan. We met a party about 3 months ago.» John: «Hmm… Susan? about 3 months ago?» Susan: «Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got ... Читать далее...
40. FCC slaps Florida highway cell phone jammer with $48K fineA Florida man is in big trouble for using a cell phone jammer while driving on the highway. 60-year-old Jason Humphreys admitted to police he’d used the device on his daily commute for roughly two years because he didn’t want drivers around him talking on their cell phones. But the powerful cell jammer shut down ... Читать далее...