Computers are female
The top six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message “Bad Command or File Name” is about as informative as
“If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you”.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)
Related topics:
- Are computers males or females? TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE Are computers males or females? You decide. TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE: 5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection. 3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than […]...
- Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female. The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as “HE” because: 1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them […]...
- Перевод слова female Female – женщина, женский; женского пола Перевод слова Female relations – родственницы female patients – пациентки female education – женское образование Female cattle are cows. Женские особи крупного рогатого скота – это коровы. A Female deer is a doe. Самка оленя называется оленихой. The workers were overwhelmingly Female. Среди работников преобладали женщины. Примеры из жизни […]...
- Guinea pig to become father to 400 after breaking into female enclosure Randy escaped his male only enclosure at Hatton Adventure World in Warwick and broke into the female-only area. Staff at Hatton Country World in Warwickshire couldn’t understand why they suddenly had 100 pregnant guinea pigs on their hands – until they released one of the male rodents had managed to escape his enclosure and infiltrate […]...
- Computers Топик Компьютеры рассказывает историю компьютеров – потомков простого арифмометра, изобретенного профессором Чарльзом Бэббиджем в 1812 году. В наше время компьютеры используются повсеместно: индивидуальными пользователями, учеными, врачами-практиками, для обучения школьников основам информатики и вычислительной техники. Каждый выпускник школы должен уметь пользоваться компьютером, это важно для дальнейшей успешной карьеры. Если современный компьютер работает быстрее и точнее, чем […]...
- In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about […]...
- A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
- A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
- Computers – Компьютеры Computers appeared in people’s life not long ago. In the middle of the 20th century common people had no idea about them. In 1951 the first commercially available computer was introduced. In 1975 personal computers appeared. The Importance of Computers It is hard to imagine modern life without computers. The sphere of their application is […]...
- Перевод слова file File – скоросшиватель, документы, файл Перевод слова Do we have your application on file? – вы уже подали заявление? to read one’s own personal file – прочитать свое личное дело file device – файловое устройство His wife’s Filing for divorce. Его жена подает на развод. These documents are kept on File. Эти документы подшиты к […]...
- За и против компьютеров/ Computers: For And Against На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Why We Go To School За и против компьютеров Computers now are an essential part of our life. I can’t imagine my life without a computer. There so many advantages of using a computer. First of all they make our lives easier. Computers help us at school, university, […]...
- Компьютеры в нашей жизни/ Computers In Our Life На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Computers In Our Life Компьютеры в нашей жизни Our life would be boring without computers. It’s hard to believe that one device can provide people with entertainment, news, education, music. With the appearance of computer many things have lost their importance. People don’t watch TV anymore, don’t go […]...
- Computers in Our Life – Компьютеры в нашей жизни Our life would be boring without computers. It’s hard to believe that one device can provide people with entertainment, news, education, music. With the appearance of computer many things have lost their importance. People don’t watch TV anymore, don’t go to the cinema very often. They don’t listen to the radio, CD – or MP3-player. […]...
- Computers in Our Life – Компьютеры в нашей жизни (2) Computer addicts are the minority of computer users but there is no doubt that more and more young people are computer literate. Computer studies is a subject in many schools and many young people have personal computers. About one in three hundred computer owners spend almost all their time using computers. Ninety six per cent […]...
- Computers in my life – Компьютеры в моей жизни (1) Computer addicts are the minority of computer users but there is no doubt that more and more young people are computer literate. Computer studies is a subject in many schools and many young people have personal computers. About one in three hundred computer owners spend almost all their time using computers. Ninety six per cent […]...
- Computers in my life – Компьютеры в моей жизни Computer addicts are the minority of computer users but there is no doubt that more and more young people are computer literate. Computer studies is a subject in many schools and many young people have personal computers. About one in three hundred computer owners spend almost all their time using computers. Ninety six per cent […]...
- Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Компьютеры (Computers)” По-английски Перевод на русский Rita: Vlad, can you help me? Рита: Влад, ты бы мог мне помочь? Vlad: Yes, sure. What’s the matter, Rita? Влад: Да, конечно. Что случилось, Рита? Rita: I’m having trouble while trying to create a new document on this computer. Рита: У меня проблема при создании нового документа на этом компьютере. […]...
- Значение идиомы on file [on file] {adv. phr.} Placed in a written or electronic file; onrecord. We are sorry we cannot hire you right now but we will keepyour application on file....
- Перевод слова command Command – команда, приказ Перевод слова At the word of command – по команде to issue a command – подавать команду to run the command – исполнять команду He Commands a platoon of 60. Он командует взводом из шестидесяти солдат. When I give the Command, fire! Как только я отдам приказ, стреляйте! She Commanded us […]...
- A painful adjustment Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride. “Well, you see, this morning when I got up,” he said, “I was barely awake […]...
- Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
- Значение идиомы rank and file [rank and file] {n. phr.} Ordinary people; the regular membershipof an organization; the enlisted privates in the Army. The generalusually inspects the rank and file on specific national holidays. The secretary of the association sends letters annually to the rankand file....
- In jail This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: “I got 12 inches over here you would love to have.” The female response was: “Well, spit it out it isn’t yours.”...
- Computer Ease! The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5. Press […]...
- Differences in Male and Female Friendships Lauren: Did you see what Stephanie was wearing? She looked like a wet dog! Quentin: Why do women do that? Lauren: Do what? Quentin: Why do women Put other women down? Is it to make themselves feel Superior? Lauren: It was only a joke. I Didn’t mean anything by it. Quentin: Do you really think […]...
- Working With the IT Department Whenever I have a Technology problem at work, I try to solve it myself. It’s not that I know a lot of about technology. In fact, the Opposite is true. I’m Pretty much a Computer illiterate, but I still try. Why do I Bother? The answer is the IT department in my company. Every time […]...
- A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. “No! I’m not doing it anymore!” […]...
- Перевод слова reason Reason – причина, основание; мыслить, умозаключать Перевод слова The reason of eclipses – причина затмений for economy reasons – по соображениям экономии to spot the reason of the trouble – определить причину неполадок to reason from past experience – сделать выводы из опыта прошлого There is no Reason to panic. Нет никаких причин для паники. […]...
- A fortunate twist of fate Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one replied. “I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your […]...
- Значение идиомы girl friend [girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
- Значение идиомы within reason [within reason] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} Within the limits of goodsense; in reasonable control or check; moderate. I want you to havea good time tonight, within reason. If Tom wants to go to thefair, he must keep his expenses within reason. Jean’s plans arequite within reason....
- The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
- Значение идиомы half [half] See: GO HALVES, GO OFF HALF-COCKED also GO OFF AT HALF COCK, IN HALF, SIX OF ONE AND HALF-A-DOZEN OF THE OTHER, TIME AND A HALF, TOO-BY HALF....
- The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
- Значение идиомы leg man [leg man] {n.}, {informal} 1. An errand boy; one who performsmessenger services, or the like. Joe hired a leg man for theoffice. 2. {slang}, {semi-vulgar}, {avoidable} A man who isparticularly attracted to good looking female legs and pays lessattention to other parts of the female anatomy. Herb is a leg man....
- Значение идиомы half-and-half [half-and-half ] {adj.} As much one thing as the other. Weasked the coach if more boys than girls were interested in debating, and he said it was about half-and-half. The show last night wasneither very good nor very poor – just half-and-half. Compare:FIFTY-FIFTY....
- Значение идиомы in the saddle [in the saddle] adv. or {adj. phr.} In command; in control; in aposition to order or boss others. Mr. Park was in the saddle whenhe had over half the company’s stock. Getting appointed chiefof police put Stevens in the saddle....
- Значение идиомы in half [in half] {adv. phr.} 1. Into two equal parts. The ticket takerat the football game tore the tickets in half. Mother cut theapple in half so each child could have an equal share. Syn.: IN TWO.2. To half the size before; to one half as big. As a punishment, Father cut Bob’s allowance in half....
- Значение идиомы rhyme or reason [rhyme or reason] {n. phr.} A good plan or reason; a reasonablepurpose or explanation. – Used in negative, interrogative, orconditional sentences. Don could see no rhyme or reason to the plotof the play. It seemed to Ruth that her little brother had tempertantrums without rhyme or reason....
- Значение идиомы fifty-fifty [fifty-fifty ] {adj.}, {informal} 1. Divided or shared equally. It will be a fifty-fifty arrangement; half the money for me and halffor you. 2. Half for and half against; half good and half bad. There is only a fifty-fifty chance that we will win the game. Compare: HALF AND HALF....