College dorm joke

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1. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
2. College Dorm On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]...
3. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
4. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
5. College cafeteria joke Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), […]...
6. Перевод слова resident Resident – резидент, постоянный житель Перевод слова Resident surgeon – врач, живущий при больнице resident correspondent – постоянный корреспондент resident program – резидентная программа Kindness is Resident in his nature. Доброта присуща его характеру. The hotel bar was only open to Residents. Бар при гостинице был открыт только для лиц, проживающих в гостинице. Several tribes […]...
7. Значение идиомы open its doors [open its doors] {v. phr.} 1. To allow someone or something toenter or join; become open. That college was started for womenonly, but a few years ago it opened its doors to men. 2. To begindoing business; open. Proffitts Department Store is having abirthday sale; it first opened its doors fifty years ago this month. […]...
8. The Plumber has arrived A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s […]...
9. Значение идиомы shut up [shut up] {v.} 1. {informal} To stop talking. Little Ruthie toldFather about his birthday surprise before Mother could shut her up. -Often used as a command; usually considered rude. Shut up and letJoe say something. If you’ll shut up for a minute, I’ll tell youour plan. Syn.: BUTTON YOUR LIP, DRY UP, KEEP ONE’S MOUTH […]...
10. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
11. Значение идиомы door [door] See: AT DEATH’S DOOR, AT ONE’S DOOR, CLOSED-DOOR, CLOSE ITS DOORS, CLOSE THE DOOR or BAR THE DOOR or SHUT THE DOOR, DARKEN ONE’S DOOR, or DARKEN THE DOOR, FOOT IN THE DOOR, KEEP THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR, LAY AT ONE’S DOOR, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTER THE HORSE IS STOLEN, NEXT DOOR, […]...
12. Значение идиомы close its doors [close its doors] {v. phr.} 1. To keep someone or something from entering or joining; become closed. The club has closed its doors to new members. 2. To fail as a business; go bankrupt. The fire was so damaging that the store had to close its doors. Business was so poor that we had to […]...
13. Three college roommates – two females and a male Three college roommates – two females and a male – began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. “All right,” one of the girls said, “the first one to speak has to do them.” The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school […]...
14. A visual joke (This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG […]...
15. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
16. Значение идиомы close one’s eyes [close one’s eyes] or [shut one’s eyes] {v. phr.} To refuse to see or think about. The park is beautiful if you shut your eyes to the litter. The ice was very thin, but the boys shut their eyes to the danger and went skating. Compare: OPEN ONE’S EYES....
17. Перевод слова shut Shut – закрывать, затворять, закрытый Перевод слова To keep one’s mouth shut – держать язык за зубами to shut the lid – захлопнуть крышку to shut the door on proposals – решительно отвергнуть предложения to shut a passage – перекрыть проход He Shut his eyes and went to sleep. Он закрыл глаза и заснул. He […]...
18. Перевод идиомы get the wind knocked out of someone, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get the wind knocked out of someone Перевод: попасть в состояние, когда перехватывает дыхание от удара в область живота Пример: He was standing out on the football field when his opponent tackled him and knocked the wind out of him. Он стоял на футбольном поле, когда его противник выхватил у него мяч, ударив его, […]...
19. Пословица / поговорка keep your mouth shut and your eyes open – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: keep your mouth shut and your eyes open Перевод: меньше говори, больше слушай Пример: When you come to that meeting, I want you to keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. This way you won’t be too conspicuous and will be able to gather the necessary information. Мне нужно, чтобы ты […]...
20. More dorm jokes I can’t resist a few: 1. Once you have stolen a dormmate’s room keys, the room is yours to plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock (so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to […]...
21. Describing Nudity Venus: Kids, cover your eyes! Don’t look at that. I didn’t know there would be Nudity here. Why did you bring us here? Milo: I brought you here to see this celebration of the beauty of the Human form. Venus: This is Obscene! Look at the Bare breasts on that one and the one over […]...
22. Перевод слова wake Wake – просыпаться, будить, пробуждать Перевод слова Wake up there! – эй вы там, проснитесь! to wake memories – пробудить воспоминания his conscience woke – в нем проснулась совесть to wake up in a bla mood – проснуться в плохом настроении Please Wake me at 6 AM. Пожалуйста, разбудите меня в 6 утра. His superiority […]...
23. Значение идиомы shut off [shut off] {v.} 1. To make stop coming. Please shut off the hose before the grass gets toowet. Compare: TURN OFF. 2. To be apart; be separated from; also toseparate from. Our camp is so far from the highway we feel shut offfrom the world when we are there. The sow is so bad tempered […]...
24. Значение идиомы open the door [open the door] {v. phr.} To allow more action or discussion; givea chance. Learning to read and write opens the door to a better joband better living conditions. Raising the tax rates will open thedoor to more help for older people. Contrast: CLOSE THE DOOR. Compare: OPEN ITS DOORS....
25. Nervous at an Interview I I was On my way to an interview and there was a lot of Traffic on the road. I got to the office In the nick of time For my appointment. I walked into the Lobby of the building and looked at the Directory. I saw that Casey Enterprises was on the Penthouse floor and […]...
26. Перевод сленгового выражения knocked up, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: knocked up Сленговое выражение: knocked up груб. Перевод: забеременеть, “залететь”; быть беременной Пример: She got knocked up by her boyfriend. Она забеременела от своего молодого человека....
27. Stupid people fearing WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind […]...
28. Значение идиомы shut out [shut out] {v.} 1. To prevent from coming in; block. DuringWorld War II, Malta managed to shut out most of the Italian and Germanbombers by throwing up an effective anti-aircraft screen. The boyswere annoyed by Tom’s telling club secrets and shut him out of theirmeeting. 2. To prevent from scoring throughout anentire game. The Dodgers […]...
29. Значение идиомы shut-eye [shut-eye] {n.}, {slang} Sleep. It’s very late. We’d better getsome shut-eye. I’m going to get some shut-eye before the game. Compare: FORTY WINKS....
30. Значение идиомы in the wake of [in the wake of] {prep.}, {literary} As a result of; right after;following. Many troubles follow in the wake of war. There wereheavy losses of property in the wake of the flood....
31. Значение идиомы come to [come to] {v.} 1. To wake up after losing consciousness; get the use of your senses back again after fainting or being knocked out. She fainted in the store and found herself in the first aid room when she came to. The boxer who was knocked out did not come to for five minutes. The […]...
32. Перевод слова football Football – футбол Перевод слова To play football – играть в футбол football match – футбольный матч football cup – розыгрыш кубка по футболу My son’s wild about Football. Мой сын просто без ума от футбола. The boys wanted to play Football. Ребята хотели играть в футбол. Dan’s crazy about Football. Дэн помешан на футболе. […]...
33. Значение идиомы come to one’s senses [come to one’s senses] {v. phr.} 1. Become conscious again; wake up. The boxer was knocked out and did not come to his senses for several minutes. The doctors gave Tom an anesthetic before his operation; then the doctor took out Tom’s appendix before he came to his senses. Compare: COME TO. 2. To think […]...
34. Question answer 06 What lights up a football stadium? A football match! If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls? Cornflakes! Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere! Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium! When fish play football, who is the captain? The […]...
35. Значение идиомы knock out [knock out] {v. phr.} To make helpless, unworkable, or unusable. The champion knocked out the challenger in the third round. Thesoldier knocked out two enemy tanks with his bazooka....
36. College dining halls This reminds me of a similar stunt we used to enjoy at the dining hall in my undergrad days. The food service used opaque plastic salt and pepper shakers with pop-off tops that could be pried off with a knife blade if you were persistent enough. PREPARATION (in a restroom nearby): (1) Empty salt ( […]...
37. You really do stink It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew […]...
38. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
39. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
40. Phone joke A few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and – such day, Illinois Bell would be “blowing the dust out of the phone lines” and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with […]...