College dorm joke

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1. And yet another college dorm jokeI have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a ... Читать далее...
2. Cow jokeAnother Cow joke I attribute to my ‘Ol chemestry prof was the placement of a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would be down. Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. ... Читать далее...
3. Yet another dorm jokeHere’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we ... Читать далее...
4. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
5. College DormOn the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: «The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.» He continued, «Anybody caught breaking this rule the ... Читать далее...
6. College cafeteria jokeSeven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), ... Читать далее...
7. Farmer John had just walked into the local watering holeFarmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar. Chris looked so down and dejected, that John just had to go up and say something to him. «Say, Chris, how ya doing? How’s the tractor selling ... Читать далее...
8. The Plumber has arrivedA lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова slackSlack — вялый, медленный; затишье, спад Перевод слова Slack comprehension — замедленное восприятие a sudden slack in production — неожиданное снижение производительности to feel slack — чувствовать вялость slack season — мертвый сезон He Slacks his attention. Он ослабил внимание. I Slacked my pace. Я замедлил шаг. The rain Slacked and died. Дождь пошел реже, ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы come to[come to] {v.} 1. To wake up after losing consciousness; get the use of your senses back again after fainting or being knocked out. She fainted in the store and found herself in the first aid room when she came to. The boxer who was knocked out did not come to for five minutes. The ... Читать далее...
11. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
12. Silent treatmentA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and ... Читать далее...
13. Outhouse jokeA few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to ... Читать далее...
14. One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticedOne fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the ... Читать далее...
15. Nervous at an Interview II was On my way to an interview and there was a lot of Traffic on the road. I got to the office In the nick of time For my appointment. I walked into the Lobby of the building and looked at the Directory. I saw that Casey Enterprises was on the Penthouse floor and ... Читать далее...
16. President Carter’s jokeIn an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова ropeRope — веревка, канат, трос Перевод слова To broom end of wire rope — распустить конец троса rope burns on our wrists — следы от веревки на наших запястьях to ease up on a rope — ослаблять веревку The farmer has Roped off the field to keep the animals out. Фермер огородил поле веревкой, чтобы ... Читать далее...
18. More dorm jokesI can’t resist a few: 1. Once you have stolen a dormmate’s room keys, the room is yours to plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock (so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to ... Читать далее...
19. Using a Computer KeyboardLeslie: This Keyboard is so hard to use. I can’t find where anything is! Dave: It’s a standard QWERTY keyboard. The Layout may be a little different, with the Function keys on the right-hand side instead of on the top, but you’ll get used to it in no time. Leslie: That’s what you think. I ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы slack off[slack off] {v. phr.} 1. To become less active; grow lazy. Sinceconstruction work has been slacking off toward the end of the summer, many workers were dismissed. 2. To gradually reduce; taper off. The snowstorms tend to slack off over the Great Lakes by the first ofApril....
21. Where is my goatThere were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched ... Читать далее...
22. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatristA Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. «I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы tie down[tie down] {v.} To keep from going somewhere or doingsomething; prevent from leaving; keep in. Mrs. Brown can’t come tothe party. She’s tied down at home with the children sick. Thenavy tied the enemy down with big gunfire while the marines landed onthe beach. I can’t help you with history now! I’m tied down withthese ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы close its doors[close its doors] {v. phr.} 1. To keep someone or something from entering or joining; become closed. The club has closed its doors to new members. 2. To fail as a business; go bankrupt. The fire was so damaging that the store had to close its doors. Business was so poor that we had to ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод идиомы cut somebody some slack, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cut somebody some slack Идиома: cut somebody some slack Разг. Перевод: относиться к кому-либо проще; дать кому-либо больше свободы выбора, действия Пример: If you and your kids don’t agree about their futures, cut them some slack — explain your views, but don’t try to force them to agree. Если вы не сойдетесь со своими ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова wakeWake — просыпаться, будить, пробуждать Перевод слова Wake up there! — эй вы там, проснитесь! to wake memories — пробудить воспоминания his conscience woke — в нем проснулась совесть to wake up in a bla mood — проснуться в плохом настроении Please Wake me at 6 AM. Пожалуйста, разбудите меня в 6 утра. His superiority ... Читать далее...
27. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasureA college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, «A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.» One student stands up and says, «Professor, ... Читать далее...
28. Phone jokeA few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and — such day, Illinois Bell would be «blowing the dust out of the phone lines» and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод сленгового выражения knocked up, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: knocked up Сленговое выражение: knocked up груб. Перевод: забеременеть, «залететь»; быть беременной Пример: She got knocked up by her boyfriend. Она забеременела от своего молодого человека....
30. Paying for CollegeChris: Which colleges are you applying to? Marcella: None. I can’t afford to go to college. Even if I lived at home, Tuition, fees, and books are just too expensive. Chris: You could apply for Financial aid. Marcella: I don’t want to get a bunch of Loans and be In debt for the next 10 ... Читать далее...
31. Ex-Police car jokeWe have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы open its doors[open its doors] {v. phr.} 1. To allow someone or something toenter or join; become open. That college was started for womenonly, but a few years ago it opened its doors to men. 2. To begindoing business; open. Proffitts Department Store is having abirthday sale; it first opened its doors fifty years ago this month. ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы piece[piece] See: BY THE PIECE, CONVERSATION PIECE, GIVE A PIECE OFONE’S MIND, GO TO PIECES, OF A PIECE, PIECE OF CAKE, SAY ONE’S PIECEor SPEAK ONE’S PIECE, TO PIECES....
34. At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturerAt the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, «Will we have to fight a World War Three?» «Yes, comrades, looks like ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы rope off[rope off] {v. phr.} To divide into sections by use of a rope. The police roped off the section of the street where the presidentwas expected to jog....
36. Значение идиомы by the piece[by the piece] {adv. phr.} Counted one piece at a time, separately for each single piece. John bought boxes full of bags of potato chips and sold them by the piece. Mary made potholders and got paid by the piece....
37. Значение идиомы in the wake of[in the wake of] {prep.}, {literary} As a result of; right after;following. Many troubles follow in the wake of war. There wereheavy losses of property in the wake of the flood....
38. Значение идиомы tie one’s hands[tie one’s hands] {v. phr.} To make unable to doanything. — Usually used in the passive. Since Mary would not tellher mother what was bothering her, her mother’s hands were tied. Charles wanted to help John get elected president of the class, buthis promise to another boy tied his hands. Father hoped Jim wouldnot quit ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы give one enough rope and he will hang himself[give one enough rope and he will hang himself] {informal} Give abad person enough time and freedom to do as he pleases, and he maymake a bad mistake or get into trouble and be caught. — A proverb. Johnny is always stealing and hasn’t been caught. But give him enoughrope and he’ll hang himself. — ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова piecePiece — кусок, часть; штука Перевод слова Bony piece of fish — костлявый кусок рыбы a piece of bread — кусок хлеба to sell goods by the piece — продавать товары поштучно Would you like another Piece? Еще кусочек? Pass me another Piece of paper. Передай мне еще один лист бумаги. He choked on a ... Читать далее...