College cafeteria joke

Related topics:

1. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
2. College dorm joke Two very hot-headed people lived directly across the halls from each other. Dave got a piece of 1/2″ rope and tied their doors together with about a 6″ gap of slack. Waited until 2:30am and knocked REALLY HARD on both doors. Interesting way to wake up…having two steaming mad football jerks slamming each other’s doors […]...
3. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
4. Перевод слова liquid Liquid – жидкость, жидкий, текучий Перевод слова Liquid body – жидкое вещество clear liquid – прозрачная жидкость liquid melody – плавная мелодия Water and milk are Liquids. Вода и молоко – жидкости. Pour the surplus of this Liquid immediately away. Немедленно вылей остаток этой жидкости. A substance passes from the solid to the Liquid state. […]...
5. A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. “HA,” he snorted, “The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!” On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. “There! I […]...
6. Hair on my chest A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. “HA!” he snorted. “The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!” On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area forward, “There! I […]...
7. Practical Joke A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the […]...
8. Three college roommates – two females and a male Three college roommates – two females and a male – began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. “All right,” one of the girls said, “the first one to speak has to do them.” The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school […]...
9. Значение идиомы bent on [bent on] or [bent upon] Very decided, determined, or set. The sailors were bent on having a good time. The policeman saw some boys near the school after dark and thought they were bent on mischief. The bus was late, and the driver was bent upon reaching the school on time....
10. Purchasing a New Bird After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on […]...
11. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
12. Перевод слова chest Chest – грудная клетка, ящик, коробка Перевод слова Medicine chest – домашняя аптечка weak chest – слабые легкие chest case – раненный в грудь He was shot in the Chest. Его уложили выстрелом в грудь. He has a broad Chest. У него широкая грудная клетка. The Chest was bagged up with money. Сундук только что […]...
13. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, […]...
14. Good fortune A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest […]...
15. Перевод идиомы no joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: no joke Перевод: серьезное дело Пример: The mistake with the meeting time was no joke. It caused many of us very serious problems. Ошибка со временем проведения собрания была очень серьезной оплошностью. Она причинила много больших неприятностей всем нам....
16. The WORK virus There is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and […]...
17. Значение идиомы on one’s chest [on one’s chest] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Hidden in your thoughts orfeelings and bothering you; making you feel worried or upset; that issomething you want to talk to someone about. Jane looks unhappybecause she has the quarrel with Susan on her chest. “Well, Dave,”said the coach, “You look sad – what’s on your chest?” Compare: ONONE’S […]...
18. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
19. Outhouse joke A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to […]...
20. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
21. At a grocery store A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have […]...
22. Ex-Police car joke We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s […]...
23. Мой колледж/ My College На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My College Мой колледж My name is Elena. I’m sixteen years old. I live in Kazan city, Russia. I have recently graduated from my high school and entered the Kazan Medical College. It is one of the best colleges in the city. Besides, I have always wanted to […]...
24. Dropping Out of College Aaron: Mom, I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it. Margo: What is it? Aaron: I’m Dropping out of college. I want to get out into The real world and get a job. I’m wasting time in school. Margo: You’ll get a better job if you stay in school and […]...
25. Перевод слова attract Attract – притягивать, привлекать Перевод слова Magnet attracts steel – магнит притягивает сталь to attract attention – привлекать внимание to attract admirers – пленять поклонников Leftover food Attracts flies. Остатки пищи привлекают мух. He shouted to Attract attention. Он закричал, чтобы обратить на себя внимание. The museums Attract a lot of tourists. Музеи привлекают множество […]...
26. Перевод слова immediately Immediately – непосредственно, немедленно Перевод слова In the years immediately ahead – в ближайшие годы it does not affect me immediately – это меня непосредственно не касается to reply immediately – моментально реагировать They fell to work Immediately. Они сразу взялись за работу. The police Immediately ringed the building. Полиция в один момент окружила здание. […]...
27. College dining halls This reminds me of a similar stunt we used to enjoy at the dining hall in my undergrad days. The food service used opaque plastic salt and pepper shakers with pop-off tops that could be pried off with a knife blade if you were persistent enough. PREPARATION (in a restroom nearby): (1) Empty salt ( […]...
28. Перевод слова huge Huge – громадный, гигантский Перевод слова Huge eater – обжора huge sleeper – соня huge difference – колоссальное различие huge debts – огромные долги The new system has made a Huge difference. Новая система – совсем другое дело. My dad’s got a Huge record collection. У моего папы огромная коллекция аудиозаписей. There is a Huge […]...
29. Heated passions Mike and Keith are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself. The two friends stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway, he collapses on the […]...
30. Перевод слова squeeze Squeeze – сжатие, теснота; сжимать, сдавливать Перевод слова It was a tight squeeze – было очень тесно to squeeze one’s finger – прищемить палец to squeeze an orange – выжимать сок из апельсина He Squeezed my hand. Он крепко пожал мне руку. We Squeezed through the crowd. Мы протиснулись сквозь толпу. Squeeze a bit of […]...
31. Колледж/ College На английском языке Перевод на русский язык College Колледж All high school children face the problem of choosing their future profession. Before graduating from school they decide which college or university to enter. To pass entrance exams is a real challenge for young people. It requires hard intellectual work and lots of effort. At college […]...
32. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
33. Перевод слова green Green – зеленый; свежий, молодой Перевод слова Acid green – ярко-зеленый enjoying a green old age – все еще бодрый, несмотря на годы the green years – юные годы My bedroom carpet is Green. Ковер в моей спальне зеленого цвета. The bananas are still Green. Бананы еще не созрели. Do you see any Green in […]...
34. Перевод сленгового выражения bent out of shape, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bent out of shape Перевод: сердитый, злой, разгневанный Пример: Don’t get all bent out of shape over that. Не надо так злиться из-за этого....
35. Значение идиомы off one’s chest [off one’s chest] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Told to someone and sonot bothering you anymore; not making you feel worried or upset, because you have talked about it. After Dave told the principalthat he had cheated on the test, he was glad because it was off hischest. Father felt that Tom wasn’t helping enough around thehouse, […]...
36. Значение идиомы liquid assets [liquid assets] {n. phr.} Those belongings that can be easilyconverted into cash. Herb asked for a loan and the bank managertold him to bring in proof of all his liquid assets....
37. Boss wants too much For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A. M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A. M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came […]...
38. College Dorm On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]...
39. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
40. Three college students were rapping about who they’d like to be Three college students were rapping about who they’d like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. “Never heard of her.” his companions protested. “Who is she?” “Why she’s just the greatest Italian gal of all, […]...