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1. Jokes about the Stupid IrishA man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, «Fill it up, will you?». The man says «Sorry — we’re right out of petrol.» So the man considers, and ... Читать далее...
2. Irish mathThere’s these four Irishmen in a bar, all drinking Guinness. One of them is looking rather puzzled, so another turns to him and asks him what’s the matter. 1st Irishman: Well, I was just trying to remember what 2 plus 2 is. 2nd Irishman: Oh, that’s easy, it’s 147. 1st Irishman: No no no, that ... Читать далее...
3. Short Irish JokesQ: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic? A: It has a 12 month waiting list. Q: What’s long & green & has a low I. Q.? A: A St. Patrick’s Day Parade Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? A: Regular rocks are too heavy. Q: Why can’t you borrow ... Читать далее...
4. Irish Pub JokesMurphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, «Where are we now?» The guide said, «We’re in the great state of Texas.» «It’s a big place,» said Murphy. The ... Читать далее...
5. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remoteAn attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes ... Читать далее...
6. Humor about LeprechaunsAn aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, «For HEAVENS SAKE, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!!!!» At ... Читать далее...
7. The scene is a dark jungle in AfricaThe scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, «Hey! Cut it out, alright!» The rear tiger says, «sorry,» and they continue. ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова tigerTiger — тигр Перевод слова Tame tiger — дрессированный тигр man-eating tiger — тигр-людоед saber-toothed tiger — саблезубый тигр Tiger characters here a predator. Тигр здесь символизирует хищника. The trainer puts the Tiger through its paces. Дрессировщик проверяет способности этого тигра. He fought like a Tiger. Он дрался, как тигр. rel=»nofollow»>...
9. Перевод слова petrolPetrol — бензин, горючее Перевод слова Petrol capacity — емкость бензобаков; запас бензина petrol consumption — расход горючего petrol tanker — бензовоз aviation petrol — авиационный бензин The Petrol gauge was already at zero. Датчик бензина был уже на нуле. The Petrol tank suddenly ignited. Топливный бак внезапно загорелся. We must fill up, we’re nearly ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова pumpPump — насос, помпа, выкачивать Перевод слова Hand pump — ручной насос to prime a pump — заливать насос to work a pump — эксплуатировать насос to pump a well dry — выкачать всю воду из колодца The Pump will not work. Насос не работает. So far, we’ve been able to Pump out most of ... Читать далее...
11. Getting In-Flight ServiceI pushed the Call button to get the attention of the Flight attendant. Flight attendant: Yes? What can I do for you? Hal: It’s very cold in the Cabin. Is it possible to get a Blanket? Flight attendant: We’re out of blankets, but here’s a Pillow. Hal: Okay, thanks. I was asleep during the Meal ... Читать далее...
12. Clean Jokes about IrelandAn American and an Irishman were enjoying a ride in the country when they came upon an unusual sight — an old gallows. The American thought he would have a joke on his Irish companion. «You see that, I reckon,» said he to the Irishman, pointing to the gallows. «And now where would you be ... Читать далее...
13. Traveling on the trainThere was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the ... Читать далее...
14. GolfA golf course Golf courses have different sizes and shapes. Most of them have 18 holes that are between a hundred and 500 metres long. If you have finished playing all 18 holes you have played a round of golf. Each hole has a starting place, called a tee. This is a small area from ... Читать далее...
15. The Irish MusicТопик Ирландская музыка расскажет о красивой ирландской музыке. Народ Ирландии очень музыкален, любит петь, танцевать и сочинять музыку. Арфа – один из самых любимых музыкальных инструментов, а самым знаменитым арфистом в 17-ом веке был слепой музыкант О’Каролан. Первые ноктюрны были написаны также ирландцем – Джоном Филдом, учеником Клементи. Все знают творчество ирландской рок-группы U2. Многие ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова remoteRemote — далекий, удаленный, дистанционный Перевод слова Remote country — дальняя страна remote ancestors — далекие предки remote sensor — дистанционный датчик The prospect of peace seems Remote. Перспектива мира кажется отдаленной. She enjoys reading about Remote lands. Она любит читать про дальние страны He reached for the Remote control and pressed the «play» button. ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова countrysideCountryside — сельская местность, деревня Перевод слова Depopulation of the countryside — бегство из деревни wander over the countryside — исходить всю местность amenities of the countryside — преимущества сельской жизни Her college is set in the Countryside. Ее колледж находится в сельской местности. I keep a car in the Countryside. Я держу автомобиль в ... Читать далее...
18. Jokes about the Fighting IrishGallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. «Did you see the paper?» asked Gallagher. «They say I died!!» «Yes, I saw it!» replied Finney. «Where are you callin’ from?» It was general question time on the «Top ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова golfGolf — гольф Перевод слова Round of golf — партия гольфа golf match — матч по гольфу devotion to golf — увлечение гольфом He is off playing Golf. Он уехал играть в гольф. He’s a real Golf fiend. Он по настоящему страстный любитель гольфа. Geoff went off to play Golf. Джефф пошел играть в гольф. ... Читать далее...
20. Incredible golf ballA golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, «Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!» The golfer, annoyed, says, «What is it?» «It’s a special golf ball,» says the salesman. «You can never lose ... Читать далее...
21. A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golfA fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, ... Читать далее...
22. A guide to Walking TigersTigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова tourTour — тур, поездка, экскурсия Перевод слова Tour guide — экскурсовод inspection tour — инспекционная поездка tour operator — тур-оператор to operate a tour — проводить экскурсию We’ll Tour the museum tomorrow. Завтра мы пойдем на экскурсию в музей. And then he Toured home. А затем он отправился домой. The idea was to Tour the ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы crow before one is out of the woods[crow before one is out of the woods] {v. phr.} To be glad or brag before you are safe from danger or trouble. — Usually used in negative sentences, often as a proverb, «Don’t crow before you are out of the woods.» John thought his team would win because the game was almost over, but ... Читать далее...
25. 35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet heading over the Pacific Ocean, Suddenly, a Message is announced, «Ladies and Gentlemen Engine #2 has Died, We will be 30 mins late» «Damn!» Said the Irishman, 10 mins later, «I’m sorry people Engine #3 has died, We’ll be 1 hour late» 20 ... Читать далее...
26. Leprechaun JokesThree guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. «I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total», says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, «I am a fisherman, my Dad’s ... Читать далее...
27. At the Gas StationIt’s been a long time since I’ve seen my friends Steve and Liz, and I thought this would be a good weekend to drive up to Santa Barbara to see them. Gas prices have been Through the roof, but I decided to take the short road trip anyway. Before getting on the road, I went ... Читать далее...
28. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heavenWhen the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. «Sorry, old man,» Peter said, «But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 — You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.» «Oh, yes. I’ll never ... Читать далее...
29. Definite laws of golfLAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed ... Читать далее...
30. A Complaint Letter to a Tour CompanyTo Whom It May Concern: I am writing Regarding a tour that my wife and I took with your company on February 26, 2006. The Brochure Stated that we Would see some of the most interesting Sights of the city. Since we had visited the city before, we looked forward to seeing some new Attractions. ... Читать далее...
31. A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of workA Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said «Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness.» The Italian said «That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with ... Читать далее...
32. The customs of an IrishmanAn Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, «You know, a pint goes flat after ... Читать далее...
33. Using Electronics on AirplanesFlight attendant: I’m sorry, sir, but all passengers need to turn off their Portable electronic devices for Takeoff, so you’ll need to turn off your Laptop. Alec: I just need to finish one last email. Flight attendant: Sir, we can’t take off until you turn that computer off. Alec: Fine. It’s off. Why all the ... Читать далее...
34. Spirits in IrelandТопик Ирландский алкоголь расскажет об истории ирландского виски и ирландского пива «Гиннесс». Если сравнить между собой шотландский виски и ирландский, то между ними будет разница. И вот еще один очень интересный лингвистический факт: даже слово «виски» в Шотландии и Ирландии пишутся по-разному. Здесь даже приводится рецепт «кофе по-ирландски» и вы, конечно, сможете его правильно приготовить, ... Читать далее...
35. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President ClintonJerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied ... Читать далее...
36. Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turnedVisiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. «This,» she said, «I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?» «No, madam,» replied the attendant. «That one’s called a mirror.»...
37. Значение идиомы take to the woods[take to the woods] {v. phr.}, {informal} To run away and hide. When John saw the girls coming, he took to the woods. Bob took tothe woods so he would not have to mow the grass. Compare: HEAD FORTHE HILLS....
38. Equally qualifiedYoung man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went ... Читать далее...
39. A vacationing penguin is driving through ArizonaA vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. ... Читать далее...
40. About Britain in brief — О Великобритании краткоGreat Britain or Foggy Albion, or Britain consists of England, Scotland, and Wales. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland includes Great Britain and Northern Ireland. The UK is an island state: it is composed of some 5 thousand small islands lie varying distances from the coasts. Geographically, the island of GB is ... Читать далее...