Biology Class

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1. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his studentsA college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, «Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.» She replied, «What other ... Читать далее...
2. At the first session of a conversion classAt the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, «What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?» After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: «Sin?»...
3. Перевод слова biologyBiology — биология Перевод слова Molecular biology — молекулярная биология cellular biology — биология клетки principles of biology — основы биологии Molecular Biology is pushing medicine into a new age. Молекулярная биология толкает медицину в новую эпоху. She likes Biology, but she’s not too keen on Physics. Она любит биологию, но не в восторге от ... Читать далее...
4. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone «Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?» Meg puts up her hand.»The sky is definitely blue.» «Thats not bad, Meg,» says the teacher, «but the sky can be grey or red.» Young Sally tried :»The grass is definitely green.» «Good try ... Читать далее...
5. Fun on first day of classThis is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, «Quite right, old bean!» 2. Wear ... Читать далее...
6. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasureA college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, «A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.» One student stands up and says, «Professor, ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы high-class[high-class] {adj.} Of the best quality; very good; superior. — Avoided by many careful speakers. When Mr. Brown got a raise inpay, Mrs. Brown started to look for a high-class apartment. Mrs. Smith always gets her clothing at high-class shops. Mr. Jonesalways gets his office workers from Burns Agency because they havehigh-class help. Compare: FIRST-CLASS....
8. Значение идиомы cut a class[cut a class] {v. phr.} To be truant; to deliberately miss a class and do something else instead. «If you keep cutting classes the way you do, you will almost surely flunk this course,» John’s professor said to him....
9. Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blondeThree women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: » OOOOOhhh that looks like semen.» She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says «It feels like ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы first class[first class] {n.} 1. The first rank; the highest class; the bestgroup. The pianist was quite good but he was not in the firstclass. 2. The most expensive or comfortable class of travel; the bestor one of the best groups in which to travel, especially by ship, train, or airplane. Most people can’t afford the ... Читать далее...
11. Marine biology researchers have developed a new method«Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible.» «If this doesn’t work, beat the shark with your stump.»...
12. The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withThe Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, «I want to be a prostitute.» The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground ... Читать далее...
13. A young, freshly minted lieutenantA young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, «If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?» «Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump ... Читать далее...
14. How does physics save lives?One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask «Why do we have to learn this stuff?» «To save lives.» the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. «So how does physics save lives?» he persisted. «It ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы third class[third class] {n.} 1. The third best or highest group; the classnext after the second class. Mary won the pie-making contest in thethird class, for the youngest girls. 2. Mail that is printed, otherthan magazines and newspapers that are published regularly, andpackages that are not sealed and weigh less than a pound. Thecompany uses third ... Читать далее...
16. ForeplayAfter the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, «Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you’re about to kill someone.» «I am!!!» Lori fumed. ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы second class[second class] {n.} 1. The second best or highest group; the classnext after the first. Joe was good enough in arithmetic to be putin the second class but was not good enough for the first. Compare:FIRST CLASS. 2. The place or quarters, especially on a ship, train, orairplane which people travel who pay the next ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова classClass — класс, группа, занятие, урок Перевод слова The working class — рабочий класс two classes of poets — поэты двух родов the senior class — последний год обучения When is Class? Когда начало занятий? Pine trees belong to the evergreen Class. Сосны принадлежат к классу вечнозеленых растений. I came by the second Class, and ... Читать далее...
19. Very dangerous mixThis was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and ... Читать далее...
20. The new hooker had just finished her first trickThe new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, «Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.» «Well? What did he want to do?» they all asked. She said, «I told him that a ... Читать далее...
21. One day a teacher was teaching religionOne day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class «What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?» Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. «I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of ... Читать далее...
22. A little boy was excited about his first day at schoolA little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked ... Читать далее...
23. One day in class the teacherOne day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says «That’s a penis, and my father has two of them». The teacher looks surprised and ... Читать далее...
24. Getting a School Class ScheduleCarlos: Did you get your Class schedule? Marianne: Yeah. You? Carlos: Yeah. Let’s see if we have any classes together. I have PE with Mr. Lopez and Social studies with Ms. Walters. How about you? Marianne: I have PE with Ms. Schwartz and social studies with Ms. Eng. Who do you have for Geography? I’m ... Читать далее...
25. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching hisAt a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: «Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?» One young woman’s answer: «Because they won’t ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы fourth class[fourth class] {n.} A class of mail that is not sealed and weighs apound or more, that includes things that are bought and sold and sentin the mail, and printed things that are not second or third classmail. Bill sent away 98 cereal box tops and a dollar and got back asheriff’s badge and gun ... Читать далее...
27. In the Sex Ed class the teacher saysIn the Sex Ed class the teacher says, «All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.» The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, «Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?» Johnny ... Читать далее...
28. A word playA teacher asked her students to use the word «fascinate» in a sentence. Mary said, «My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.» The teacher said, «That was good, but I wanted the word «‘fascinate.'» Sally raised her hand. She said, «My family went to ... Читать далее...
29. Discussing Social ClassHector: Can you believe James? All evening, he tried to tell me how this country would be better if we had no Social classes. He’s out of his mind. Sophia: He was just trying To get a rise out of you. We all know that the two of you don’t See eye to eye. Hector: ... Читать далее...
30. A young married womanA young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, «Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?» She thought about it a minute then said, «Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.»...
31. The evils of marijuanaA certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, «Used regularly,» he explained, «pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!» «Now wait a minute, professor,» interrupted a student. ... Читать далее...
32. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, «What’s so funny Pat?» «Well teacher, I just ... Читать далее...
33. A Letter of a Class mistress — Письмо классного руководителяI`m a teacher. I teach children and I like it. But at the same time I`m a class mistress. There are 25 pupils in my class, 25 children. They are so different these boys and girls; they have different appearance, tastes, hobbies… Sometimes they are too naughty, sometimes — too selfish and stubborn. But at ... Читать далее...
34. Getting Standard Medical Test ResultsJudith: I had my Annual physical two weeks ago and I just got a copy of the Lab results, but I can’t figure out what they mean. Steven: Let me take a look. The results of your blood tests are good. Your Cholesterol is within the normal Range, your Glucose levels are fine, your Hormone ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова femaleFemale — женщина, женский; женского пола Перевод слова Female relations — родственницы female patients — пациентки female education — женское образование Female cattle are cows. Женские особи крупного рогатого скота — это коровы. A Female deer is a doe. Самка оленя называется оленихой. The workers were overwhelmingly Female. Среди работников преобладали женщины. Примеры из жизни ... Читать далее...
36. Everything we needA young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, «oh miss, oh ... Читать далее...
37. Bush as a post turtleWhile suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush’s health care reform ideas. The old man said «Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle». So, not knowing what he ... Читать далее...
38. The room was full of pregnant women and their partnersThe room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. «Ladies, exercise is good for you,» announced the teacher. «Walking is especially ... Читать далее...
39. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Your work is absolutely first-class»Greg Грег Do come in and sit down. How are you? Заходите, пожалуйста, и присаживайтесь. Как у вас дела? Heather Хезер I’m fine, thanks. Have you had a chance to look at my proposal? Все хорошо, спасибо. Вы уже рассмотрели мое предложение? Greg Грег Yes, I have, that’s what I mainly want to talk about. ... Читать далее...
40. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one dayLittle Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. «If I gave you $20,» the teacher began,» and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?» «An orgy,» Johnny answered....